catch up

Evening all. Long time no write.....

It is stupidly hot here at the moment. Over 30 for the last 4 days and more of the same for the next few.......OMG! Apparently the last time November was this hot was 80 years ago.

About 3 weeks ago we were snuggling under warm blankets. Now, I am realising that I don't have enough warm weather clothes.

I love the end of Spring - so full of surprises. I just wonder what Summer is going to be like if the weather is like this and we haven't hit that season yet!

On other news - I hate the amount of correction that I have to do. My student teachers - whilst they were busily correcting - did Sweet FA in relation to leaving me with any decent marks to work with. I have to chase too many kids for my liking. What a complete waste of time they were for me!

Stream of Consciousness

Night two of the year 12 recitals......5 singers (2 classical voice and 3 contemporary voice) and 1 percussionist. The percussionist claimed he was not going to sing.....I counted 5 "ole's"...He lied!

I found that I come home to relax by watching West Wing. I loved it when it was on tv and now I love it even more when I can catch up on episodes one at a time..... I am up to Series 3. I keep laughing that all the "things" that happen. Whenever there is an issue either character involved in the issue will comment on "the thing". eg "We have a thing" or "Do you know about the thing?"

Not sure if I will get through the last 20 minutes of this episode - finally I am getting tired and this stream of consciousness is drying up.

There are two days left in the term. One of those days will involve me being at the school until 10.30pm or so. The other day will be talking to my interns about their placement with me.

I will be so glad to see Friday 2.30pm!

it is hectic

I haven't posted for a while - you probably didn't especially notice but saw that I might not have come up on the reader you use for a while.

It's not that I haven't got anything to say.....I just don't really have the time to say it. I am, at the present moment, spending ridiculous amounts of time just doing lots of stuff. By saying that please don't panic any of you - I have caught up with friends and family but I haven't got onto the internet that often. I have been enjoying the personal contact with face-to-face interactions.

Work is ridiculously busy - but then when the head of department takes a week off, reasons unknown to me, you might find yourself with a different class placed in front of you which you spend a week teaching and discovering that they are so hungry for information that they write down EVERYTHING that comes out of your mouth. Now I know that I am one of the most inspirational speakers around (crickets chirping in the background) but I found this quite off putting.

Added to this new class conundrum the two interns that I have. May have mentioned these delightfuls before but I have one week to go with them. I am quite relieved. The good one (A) is still motoring along. I don't think that she is a favourite amongst the kids but they are working hard for her and she has developed some good relationships with them. Behaviour is not an issue - and if it is, she deals with it without any mad panic attacks or diva style behaviour.

The other one (B) has changed a great deal over the last 9 weeks. She is still hard work emotionally. B has not really developed great relationships with the kids and I believe many will be glad to see the back of her. Classroom Management has been a major issue for her. We started with no real concept of what she wanted or how to get it.

Now the pendulum has swung the other way. She over reacts to things and then demands justice for the smallest of misdemeanors. This week kids were handed detentions like you would throw confetti over the newly weds. It was amazing to witness. I went to one of her detentions as I had kids in the same room finishing work. It amazed me - there were two kids who turned up who didn't have a detention but they had nothing else to do as all their friends were there. Then the cheeky cherubs misbehaved and were threatened with an afterschool..........

I have had other teachers pulling me aside all week to discuss the issues with B. Most of the conversations start with "are you responsible for the intern B?" I raise an eyebrow and suddenly find myself being enveloped with another intriguing tale of the adventures of intern B.

It's funny - everyone on staff knows who intern B is but then are amazed that there is another one, A. When I point out that I have two, the response is "Really?"

Year 12s finish soon and as a consequence of the looming finish line kids have hit the accelerator with an amazing panic. I teach junior classes at the moment all the while madly going through what I am expecting to do with this or that student.........this coming week I have three nights of recitals to attend. Each of the solo kids has to present a program up to 25 minutes. Mulitply that by 18 and you have a decent amount of time to be found. The group boys have to do 35 minutes. Next week is the last week of term and I am scratching my head wondering why I have done this.........but then their end of year exams start on the first weekend of term 4. It has to be done then!

On a completely different track - our large staffrooms are arranged like small enclaves. Each is a social entity to itself that can be severly affected by personnel changes. My small grouping was a group of 5 women and one man. This man is one of THE MOST ANNOYING men I have ever met. He is a noisy eater, an emotional roller coaster and an amazing braggart.

A few months ago one of the ladies retired. She was replaced by a quietly spoken man who I get along really well with. His desk is amazingly tidy but lacks an obvious coherence. (but then mine is a minefield of danger and peril with no order anywhere in sight!) He is a patient man who deals with everyone equally. He sets an example that I have no desire to follow but feel slightly guilty that I don't......it soon passes.

One of the other ladies is only in the school 2 days a week. She has no real impact on the social niceties of the grouping of desks other than getting in my way by having her chair too far out. We speak on very general terms but her whiny tone of voice annoys me.......in fact any whiny tone amongst the staff annoys. What is wrong with stating what you need to say and doing so without the "it's not fair" tone that just gets under your skin? I digress......

In the last fortnight the other two ladies (art teachers) have gone on leave and have been replaced with two males. One is quite efeminite and has an intruiguing way of dealing with the annoying man.......I still laugh. He is a moderately big personality but then tries to hide this away. As a result he comes across with this pulsating energy that he is trying madly to hide but sometimes fails. One of the other art teachers is in his face constantly. (She is another of the whiners and I cringe at the nearness of her.....)

The other is a strange person. He is nice enough - social niceties are there "morning/bye" but that is about as much as you can get out of him. I am sure he is a fine artist - in fact I have seen some of his doodlings. They're interesting and quite pleasing to the eye. He is very reserved but seems to be spending a lot of time observing the world and, I believe, to be working out ways of using the information he finds in his artwork.

Now the next part of what I am about to say is completely unnecessary but it's more of my observations of this bloke. He travels from one side of Melbourne to the other to teach at our school. I mean he is travelling a good 45 minutes from the inner northern suburbs to a real suburban school. It must be a culutral shock.

Once he has arrived he squirts some sort of clear liquid (no, it's not water in a fancy bottle) under his tongue. I've seen him do this two times now. It is quite disconcerting. I believe it to be a herbal concotion of some sort. He is a strong vegetarian (again, nothing unusual here) and has made lots of comments about my lunch............

I have called him strange. I mean this from the angle that I can't quite guage him. He is not a typical teacher BUT then he views himself as an artist who occasionally teaches. This is a different view for most teachers at my school. They are, on the whole, dedicated, career teachers. I can't quite fathom how he finds working at the school we are at, and this is the point from where I begin my definition of his strangeness. I think it is more an indication of my inability to categorise him than anything to do with him.......

I am hanging out to my holidays and catching up with me. This term has been emotionally challenging, both on a personal and professional level. I have been working incredibly hard for the term - we had our huge concert, which was too long, 3 weeks ago. I do the massed singing at the end, which is quite a head spin, but taxes me through the rehearsal process. 700 kids and teachers who seem to be there to watch the 'show'. It's frustrating.

I also have the year 8 band who are cute but all over the place musically, and I have the choir. They are developing in ability and size. I decided to have new uniforms this year. We made them. It took so long to make them. We made 78 of them. Only 73 were used. They looked effective but each one took about 2 hours to make. I cut half of them out. I sewed a dozen of them. They took a long time.

So now I have presented half of the reasons that I haven't been on line for a while. Hopefully it won't be as long next time.

short and sweet on a saturday

Interns much better. Well one is sick but she is still improving. The other didn't cry this week. This is awesome!

I am very tired - still. So I am getting my bloods checked. Will see how we go.

Almost up to date with my correction. Very impressive if you ask me!

I'm off to see My sisters keeper tomorrow.

interns

Where to begin.

I am thinking a great deal at the moment. Nothing unusual there really. I have so little time at work and find that my time at home is spent being stupidly busy doing my correction which I would prefer to do at work.

Why has this occurred? Two interns of course. One of my colleagues in my department went on holidays and they got two interns to cover her. An intern is somewhere between a student teacher and a beginning teacher. A student teacher you have to sit in the classroom with. A beginning teacher can be in the classroom on their own but do need a fair amount of support. They get the gist of most things fairly quickly - if they are worth their metal.......

My two interns are an interesting pair. A is fantastic. She is bright, vivacious and a self starter. The kids think that she is ok - they're not big fans, but she is replacing someone who has an amazing reputation. The thing I like about intern A is the fact that she thinks BUT she also acts. This is a huge thing. She sees something that needs to be done and she does it. If she has an issue - she comes and asks me from the point of view, I have done this in reaction/relation to this. What else can I do?

B is so different. She is lovely but she is tiring. I mean really tiring. She is emotionally all over the place. She thinks way too much about this job that she is doing. We have had many a conversation that includes her telling me that she has this/that to improve. She has thought an amazing amount of time about the theory of classroom behaviour, student thinking, teaching directions, and even subject philosophy........but she hasn't really put a lot of this into practice.

I watched her teach last week and she is not that bad. She is lacking somewhat in personality, but then a lot of beginning teachers do as they are frightened to make a mistake. She also has a standard of behaviour that I don't think anyone can live up to. As a result the kids are never behaving for her........ It came to a focal point last Friday when she left the teacher she was working with during her 4th period class because her 3rd period class were awful. She came and sat beside me and started crying. This has happened a few times. Tears, not the leaving of the classroom.......

I asked her to unpack what had happened and she gave me a broad brush stroke response that the kids were naughty. I asked her to clarify and eventually she told me something had happened which essentially was that a couple of the boys had not done as she had asked. My reaction was probably not as supportive as it could've been. I was blown away that she had walked out of a class.......

I was quite blunt, as I know I can be! I asked her what would happen if this had happened and she wasn't team teaching? Would she have walked out of the class? We chatted about the idea of having to approach things from a number of different angles.

The crunch came when she told me she had 'stuff' happening in her world that was exhausting her. That was, at the time, the final straw. I told her about my family - which I had not planned on doing so - and where we are at at the moment. I agreed that teaching is hard when you are not altogether there BUT a professional, whether it be good or bad, needs to step aside from the personal and focus on the end game. The end game are the kids!

I told to get a grip and get back into the classroom. Not the best conversation that I have had but it was one that I had to have with her.

By the end of the day I explained, as nicely as I could, that I would need to see a definite improvement in the way she attacked her teaching - especially her emotional response. If I didn't see this improvement then I would have to talk to her university.

Monday I was absent, Tuesday she left early. Today was a sports day. I will see her tomorrow.....

time management

This week I have discovered the beauty of organisation. For those of you who already understand this, please bare with me.

Having two interns is, for the present time, incredibly time consuming. Every spare lesson I have I seem to be discussing classroom management, lesson structure, activities, and general health and well being.

My correction is WAY off kilter. I had this amazing idea that I would collect student written work early in the semester and have the work completed so that the run to the end of the year would be quite practical. Truth be told - this is an impossibility.

I have realised that I will leave a lot of the written work until the beginning of the next term. My classes for the time being will be more practical in nature where I can assess the students processing the work that is set. The written needs to be much later when some sort of routine returns to my world and I am not dealing with two young teachers.

This week I have also come home unbelievably pooped......so I have now made a few meals up and popped them in the freezer so I can come home, re heat and relax.

I know that it will calm down over the term. Once the interns have relaxed a little....one will need to relax a lot. I need to get the two of them to a stage where they feel confident that if they make a mistake that it is ok. You unpack what happened and then you rebuild. It is not worth having kittens over.

If I am not blogging a lot then I am rather exhausted. Also there is not a lot that I have to say. Actually there is another reason....

For some reason or other my blogging has reached a point where I am looking at it from the time management point of view and what I actually get out of it. I know a few people who say that it is a good thing for me to do - cathartic even. But I really am not putting a great deal of myself here - I don't mention people's names, dates etc so that means that I am rather restricted in what I say and how.

There is also the idea of who my audience is and, more to the point, do I have one. As I know some of the people who read this personally, I have restricted the way I write - one to protect them and two to protect myself. People may say 'stuff that' but can I really be bothered.....I have lots to say and I think I would prefer to say it out loud........

I will be here....but infrequently......

So now I am off to relax with friends before the craziness of the week ahead.

sleep time yet?

I have been back at work two days and I need another holiday.

I have two interns (slightly more experienced than a student teacher) with me this term.......one rang me on Sunday to tell me she was sick. She's been away two days now. What this meant for me was that I had to leave her classes something to do as this is something that she is unaware of what to do at this stage. (note to self - teach this immediately on Thursday when they are back.....)

Then today another teacher in my department was absent so I prepared his work for him too!

The front building has been knocked down and I teach at either end of that 'void'. I have a feeling I am going to lose a lot of weight walking between my classrooms. If I go out the front of the school it takes about 4 minutes to get from one end to the other. If I go through the carpark, round the toilets, through the corridor, across the quadrangle it takes closer to 7 minutes. I know which way I will be going - but then you have to make sure you don't get stopped by a big truck entering the site.

Monday is a relatively light day - only 3 on! Tuesday I have all 6 on! Today we had general assembly and we had a staff meeting after work. Now I am tired. Tomorrow I have 5 on and choir practice.....

It's 6.30 and I have been in my pyjamas for 45 minutes...........

so tired but still awake

Sheesh! I am glad this week is over.

Well - Sunday I went to a friends bbq and overate sausages and cheese. Not in the one sitting. I ate heaps and then suffered the consequences the next day. Thank goodness it was a public holiday.

Tuesday back on deck and working hard in my year 8 band. My year 12s sort of did the right thing all the day.

Wednesday night the year 8s performed REALLY LOUDLY and painstakingly fast at "Meet the year 7s. Parents and teacher night." I haven't laughed so hard in so long. My Percussion kids took off like a rocket. I did the best I could to keep up with them. Rehearsals were not like this.....their first performance for the year was a hoot. We have had 4 rehearsals on new pieces and the kids have been, on average, playing for about 8 months. I was so impressed. the non percussionists (well the flautists) were trying not to laugh at my facial reactions while they played their instruments.

I had some of the more bizarre conversations with some parents. In fact one dad was doing his best chatting up lines on me. That was fun! Glad his wife wasn't around at that exact moment......got away from that one and chatted to a woman who told me that her daughter had to stop playing the trumpet as it would probably ruin her teeth and therefore her good looks.

Finally got home, after my singing lesson, at 9.

Thursday I taught all day and we had the house music festival during the night. One of my year 9s was caught wagging and finally turned up during the last lesson of the day. We had a chat and he did improve through the lesson. I was impressed by his change.

Thursday night, after talking to a fair few parents, I got home 10pm.

Today my student teacher finished up. She is very, very good. I look forward to working with her when she comes back as an intern. The only downside to her finishing today was the crazy emotional meltdown a student had. It was awful. We dealt with the situation but it was awful.

I got home between 6 and half past. Lying here on the couch. I should be asleep but can't be bothered getting up. will as soon as I have finished the post......

In amongst all of this I have booked tickets for Angelique Kidjo, organised the replacement of the top casing of my laptop and finally got my itunes working for me again. Very happy with my ability to download again.

The back neighbours have had a few LOUD fights at night this week. As I have rearranged the lounge, it is not as easy to hear the statements being shouted from one to another. I miss them.

Next week will be even more crazy. No lunchtimes for me next week. Rehearsals for a main character in the school musical, rehearsals for a girl quartet for the cabaret night and finally standard choir rehearsal.....AND I have to take all my own classes.

time

I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed by my workload at the moment. I have a large number of classes that I have to keep an eye on and my eye is getting a little dry and tired at the moment.

I have 3 year 7 classes, 4 year 8s, a year 9 and then 4 Senior school classes mixed over a timetable of 2 places. I have this large number due to the fact that the juniors (year 7 & 8) only have one period of theory/classroom a week and one period of practical a week (band class). In amongst this I run the school choir.

Now I am not complaining about the variety. I love variety - it keeps me versatile.

I'm not complaining about the amount of work it brings in - again the versatility of the curriculum is a joy.

I'm complaining about the lack of time I seem to have to enjoy what I do. I feel as if I am only going through the motions. There are days when I don't have the energy to get things done completely.

Once I am in the classroom I am on fire - well almost all the time. There are times when I am rather brusque with the kids but, meh! Getting to the classroom involves ensuring I have completed all the correction (going in early to get that done today!) and have all my resources at hand.

If you throw in the fact that I have just about finished with my student teacher, who takes time even when discussing issues and not her teaching, then time is scarce. I sit each day trying to socialise with people, and I do so effectively, but all the while I am thinking of the next lot of things that I have to complete before I go and teach or hit the classroom.......oh well!

Off to be a domestic goddess and then attack a pile of correction at work.

busy week

So the last few days have been interesting.

Something that has been brewing came to a head - and I am much relieved that it is 'sorted'. Can almost deal with it.

Work has been hectic. I have a student teacher at the moment. She is very good and I feel terrible that I have not blogged about her. The first one in ages that has done the right thing and I haven't given her any space. She finishes pretty much at the end of next week. We have been asked to have another one in the school but I don't want another teacher yet. I have to use this time now to get to know my kidlets.

After going out with Frogdancer two weeks ago, I have been quite quiet on the weekends. Been out most other nights of the week though. Tired as a result of being out so often......must be getting old.

Been off to the gym at least once a week. Need to boost this to two times BUT I am quite stoked at the once a week commitment.

Had contact with someone I went to Primary school with. Been interesting emailing someone that I haven't spoken to in 25+ years. So much has happened and where do you start. Been fun.

I reopened my face book account. I had deactivated it due to the fact that I didn't like the regulations they had. When I reactivated it they had got rid of the changes. Quite pleased with that really. Main reason was to keep up with a traveling family member.

Off to look at property today. Also going to clean my place and do the grocery. Kids performing this afternoon down the road from here so off to see them strut their stuff. Brunch tomorrow so weekend filling quickly........

Monday night recitals

I am sitting in the office at work - we have recitals tonight. There are 12 kids performing tonight and 22 performing tomorrow night.

Yes.

Somehow I think that we got that wrong. It would be better if we had about 18 each night. That way I wont freak out when I am marking them tomorrow night. Tonight I have hardly any assessment to do - it's all the head of department class who are performing. I have two kids who are up.

At the same time we have transition information for year 8 to 9. Head of department is meant to be available for that to do the chatting to the kidlets and their parents about music and options for next year. As he is assessing I will be there in his absence and he will mark my kids who perform tonight. I just get asked the strange questions.....I'm sure I will cope.

I was wandering the school aimlessly. Well, actually it wasn't aimless at all, I was trying to avoid the ever growing pile of correction on my desk. As I wandered past one of the admin offices I was growled at about who was going to be on duty to answer the questions. I have discovered that we have thrown the admin a curve ball by scheduling our kids performances tonight.

Note to self. Check the lists carefully to make sure you don't double book when other events are on! Make sure the recitals are on the list in the first place!

So I have had a nutritious dinner from a box - you know the heat and eat variety. Don't have them that often so I am always pleasantly surprised when I get something that tastes relatively good. I haven't had a glass of wine - although I really would love one.

My Australian Music powerpoint extravaganza has been reduced a little. I decided to show the person organising the exchange kidlets the thing and he suggested to reduce a little. I have to say I agree.

I was in a enthusiastic frame of mind and I asked him if he would like to do this as a peer mentor session for my Professional Development thingy.....(see Mr Abode, I am working). He has freaked me out somewhat. He suggested that I look at what unusual verbs and adjectives I might use in the presentation and find a few ways of expressing. My thoughts "HUH?".

Tomorrow I might have to actually write up my presentation so that I have an idea of where, when and what I am talking about. No freelancing for this chicken. I feel like I am under observation again as an Undergraduate.......and for a subject I know very little about.

I might have a look up about verbs and adjectives - just so I am fine with what I am going to say..........he he he.

it's all done

After the fun of yesterday, today was BUSY.

I find Friday is the hardest day on my schedule. I have all times on - there is no time for preparation or anything else for that manner.

Today was a little more than that. Head of Department absent with the lurgy I so kindly shared with the rest of the department. I also had two assessments - one at recess and one at lunch.

I found time to write up the report for my student teacher and speak to her uni adviser. I then spent 1 1/2 hours discussing the report with her. Why? Well I was close to failing her - not for the way she presented in class but because I didn't think she was ready to face the realities of the teaching profession.

When I spoke to the supervisor I had decided that I needed to say that she was not ready for the professional world of teaching due to her extreme lack of confidence and over emotional responses to those around her. Based on what I had seen and described the supervisor was in agreement with me. The girl pulled out one of THE BEST classes I have seen in a long time.

It was not the most riveting lessons - discussion on the compositional devices used in three pieces from West Side Story - but the kids talked and talked and talked on topic! I sat there with this inane grin on my face. I was so proud. Eventually I got back to the supervisor and I said "this is new! I'm not sure where she came from, but I'm glad she came. I am so excited about what I am seeing."

After the class, and the supervisor had gone, we discussed what happened - as two professionals. The change I have seen in this girl is amazing. Yes there is still room to grow but I saw enough in the last 24 hours to know that she is on the right track. I talked through my fears for her and what I thought she should do. She listened and then responded - including (with my permission) reflecting on what I, as her supervisor, could do better.

In amongst all this I was preparing kids for a performance on Sunday. Some of my kiddies are playing for 1 1/2 hours at a Festival. It's really exciting. This is another opportunity for the public to see the kids the way I get to see them.

I'm tired - but happy. It's been a good end to the week.

back into the routine.

Back to work today and I am now exhausted.

We had parent teacher interviews again tonight but this time years 9 and 10. The year 10's I teach are doing a year 11 subject so they are 'serious' interviews. The parents are expecting so much from their cherubs - and who can blame them as they are talented. My job is to have sorted out what makes them good performers and what they need to improve.

Year 9 interviews are so much more relaxed. Your child is doing well - talks a bit too much but generally good. He/she might need to consider focusing on reading music so they can extend themselves further. Generally that is it done.

I had my four year 10 interviews and they were all pretty exhausting. The first - a talented musician but not committed to ensembles or his written work. The second - a very 'pitchy' singer who has improved heaps and written work doing well; last interviews I suggested not to do the final year subject next year. Third was a young man who is talented but he has attitude. Finally a young lady who is fantastic as a performer, not bad with her written work but she does not have the confidence in written work. These interviews took me out of it.

The interview, if you can call it that, which exhausted me the most was with my student teacher. She finishes at the end of this week and I have found the emotional roller coaster that she is taken me on tiring. We have gone through the highs of great teaching, super confidence etc to the lows of no confidence in her abilities. When I say 'lows' I mean low.

I told her what I was concerned about with her entering teaching - the emotional roller coaster. I couched it from the point of view "What would you say to a student who aimed so high, tried really hard to make that height and then was so upset thinking they had failed, crashed and burned emotionally?" She went through many answers and I agreed with her on many of her points. She didn't show that she knew I was asking about her. I told her that she should listen to what she had said and take it on herself. She seemed stunned. I think it was a good lesson for her.

A university supervisor is coming to see her on Friday afternoon, her final lesson for the week and round. We are talking through the issue of what to present her supervisor and what will work with my curriculum. I can see the need she has to 'impress' the university, but I will be discussing that with the university lady. I also have explained to her that the university people understand that there will also be a 'finality' to her teaching when she has been with this class for 5 weeks and this is her last time with them. They will understand that there is a need to have assessment as part of the course. We have compromised and planned something interesting.

The above 3 paragraphs took me 10 minutes to write but in action it took 2 - 3 hours during the day and a number of emails starting yesterday.

I'm watching So You Think You Can Dance (American). I think it is the final so the dancing is pretty amazing. I love it! I know who won (and I agree with the quality of dancing of the winner) but I love it!

As soon as it is over I'm off to sleep.

Back to it

It was funny going to school today having not been there on Friday after the concert. A lot of people didn't realise that I was unwell when I was walking precariously across the stage. They just thought that I was struggling in my shoes!

I have had the weirdest experience with my band kids today. I have lost all of my conductor scores! How do conduct a band with no music? I still have no idea! To add pressure I had a student teacher watching me! (not mine she belongs to the instrumental manager and another classroom teacher) This student teacher is in the army most of the time and is part of the army band program...........I am a singer with lots of (70+) ratty year 8 kids.

I am good at my job but this was funny. I handed out new music which I hadn't prepared as I didn't go to work on Friday to collect the scores. The kids played reasonably well and played up extraordinarily well.

My student teacher was doing really well but had an emotional setback today. She almost cried but I was firm with her. She was planning for her year 10 class for the head of music and didn't think she had anything......

I went through what she had and it seemed fine then she said I don't have the music for them to listen to. I asked her what her options at this stage were. We discussed going home to get them and I also threw some other ideas in such as rhythmic dictation, chordal work etc. I then created an idea for a practical lesson without instruments. She wasn't sure about doing this as it seemed a little naff. We talked through how to present the lesson and she kept telling me she was not sure. I finally told her to make a decision. Either present the lesson she had prepared - going home to get her music or using other songs, or go with something else. Whatever she decided to do, she needed to do it confidently. Her reply "I can't make a decision!" As if I hadn't noticed.....

I talked through this outburst with the head of music and we decided that we should call the university. Not that she is danger of failing - when she is with the kids, she is fantastic. Her content has improved greatly. Her presence has improved amazingly! What I am concerned about is her emotional and mental state away from the classroom. I rang the uni. I feel awful - as though I have dobbed her in, but I feel that I needed to flag her with them. I think there might be something going on underneath that I don't have the capacity to deal with.

Tuesday night telly.....

I am watching this amazingly stupid TV show: "Wipeout!" WTF! I know we have stupid tv shows here but this is dumb as! Why would you throw yourself in front of, on top of and in the way of objects that knock you down? (and probably hurt you on the way)

I am sitting here watching the show and I feel like laughing but, having spent most of the day quiet - except for choir - I am mute with a stupid grin on my face. The commentators are trying to make it sound interesting........Keep at it fellas.

Now why was I at work? Had to be with a concert on Thursday - I have 3 LARGE ensembles. Year 8 band 78 kids, Choir 60+ kids and the Massed Choir at the end of the night with 500+ kids! I have had rehearsals everyday with all of my ensembles. It was fun today not speaking.....The kids were fantastic. My student teacher learnt lots about personality and presence.

Another early one tonight and see how we go......

tgif

Friday afternoon and I am LOOKING forward to a quiet night. Have to go out for an appointment. Thinking what to have for dinner - might be something very easy but home cooked.

Student teacher - had a good lesson today with the 11s. Her plan, as described yesterday, was quite good but she was nervous when presenting this. We discussed it and looked for better ways of standing etc. Sometimes, as I said to her, you have to believe that you can even though you think you might not be able to.

Tomorrow is a babe's head wetting which should be fun. We have the staff function tomorrow night. Some of my favourites will be there but a few wont be. I am not sure if I REALLY want to go. I might put my head in there for a short time and then go off to something else.

Sunday is lunch out in the Dandenong Ranges. Beautiful!

I contemplated taking work home to correct etc but realised that I am too jiggered to do anything and it will just be a 'bag of guilt' that is transported from one venue to another. I will get the work done on Monday and Tuesday.

Frogdancer has tagged me so be prepared for some facts about me.......and you might get tagged.

it does get better.

Thank you to all of you for your comments about my student teacher yesterday. I really appreciated knowing that there are many of you out there who feel the pain.

Today she improved greatly.

As I said yesterday, with the kids she is really good. She knows her content and she has a great rapport with the kids. She is very different to me as a teacher - and I have pointed out that this is a brilliant thing. Her teaching style is a subdued, confident approach. I told that I saw this - she was unaware of her style and then was worried that it was wrong. I assured her it was not and that it was beautiful.

Where the problem is is the fact that she doesn't trust that she 1) knows the information and 2) is concerned what the kids/teachers think of her.

It is hard going.

Compared to my last student teacher she is a delight as she knows her content but is wanting to find more. There is none of the arrogance that he demonstrated in his first few days. I realise that both of them have demonstrated behaviour that shows insecurity. Both have shown that they are very young. Both have demonstrated that they are capable. Each has their own journey - I just wish I had the manual on their behaviour BEFORE they got here. That way I could be prepared.

Gorgeous did tell me in an email that 'there is a reason' that I am getting these particular teachers. I know this but when you are so busy (MASSIVE CONCERT NEXT THURSDAY NIGHT AND I AM IN CHARGE OF THREE ENSEMBLES - I am whispering that to you as loudly as I can!) it is hard to remember that I have things to teach them and they things to teach me.

Student teachers provide me with the opportunity for reflection - on my own teaching and my own development. They keep me in focused on what my journey is and has been.

So to the positives of the day. Her rap class (made up of my own lesson plan) went well with the other supervising teacher. Her single period with me went really went well too! The year 11s were being challenged in their analysis work. She quietly reprimanded a child for not doing the homework and then told him that he could take notes from what the others were discussing but would have to report on another aspect next lesson. The look on his face was priceless.

I think the best thing for her today was to SEE how busy we are at the moment and that you do have to constantly work at things. The first time she and I sat down to talk properly was after school. She said "I haven't seen you all day." I think she was going to follow with some other comment which could have been something about yesterday and my reaction so I jumped in with what I was doing all day.

Here is today's timetable for me for today.......not usual but necessary for this time of year with THE MASSIVE CONCERT NEXT WEEK!

8am before school theory.

8.30 Meeting with singing teacher to finalise solos for last item of concert.

8.50 (although I was late as I was photocopying but raced over to let in and came back) taught first class - Year 11 Performance. During this lesson I spoke to the kids who had solos etc and pointing out that some are going to be disappointed as they haven't got what they might think they need etc. We have something like 16 senior singers to consider here!

9.40 English Skills with two diametrically opposed kids. One a ratbag but highly entertaining and will do what I ask once he has had the chance to flex his rebellious muscle; the other a kid who is striving to do the best he can in everything - just wants the opportunity to have his voice heard. Reading, spelling and grammar (my weak link is grammar!) with laughter thrown in.

10.30 set up band room for later rehearsal - this was while I was on yard duty

10.55 supervise student teacher while working with my year 12 student in styles.

11.40 Band rehearsal. Sound ok but need to concentrate (who doesn't?)

12.30 lunchtime - shortened - meeting with solo singers, backstage crew, compares. Discussion with kids "should I do year 12 music next year?" Quick planning with head of department about how to 'teach' three year 9 music classes with only 2 of the regular teachers present........still thinking through that! Was I meant to have eaten? That didn't happen!

1.15 Year 9 class (you know the one we just planned!!!!!) I had two classes together doing one task while he had the other. I had another teacher with me but we only have about 9 more classes with these kids and we want to make it worthwhile......they're composing. [We planned that there will be some team teaching going on when other teacher comes back and rotational stuff going on. The other teacher needs to be in room with only one class as he is doing the 'recording' unit and needs the kids on computers.......Then I go to that one in 3 weeks time and he does a unit with the teacher absent today......it is confusing still but it will work out...I will put a diagram up if you REALLY NEED and when I work it out but now I am just rambling!]

2.05 rehearse with year 9 band. not my group. I was sight reading. They did ok but not brilliant - it'll all work out when they have either of their directors. Both absent today.

2.55 early finish - more students asking me lots of questions

3.15 meeting with student teacher while eating my lunch.

4.00 debrief with a few staff - needed to today!

Her mouth fell open in disbelief as I told her this while I ate my lunch. I then told her about the need to look after yourself at these times as a music teacher. I said that it is often easy to forget about yourself and that you might let diet and exercise go out the window. I was eating homemade soup that I had in the freezer. I said that planning is the GREATEST need of the music teacher. She took notes! (bless her!)

We planned her lesson - it looks fantastic! I then dealt with how I think she has changed since yesterday. I said that there is only one way to go but up. There was a moment when she gave herself permission! To do what? She needs to allow herself room to grow and develop. She needs to experience - it's all process and she needs to give herself permission to play.

Long post but cathartic. If you're still here.....thank you and love to you all. I'm off to sing.

HELP!

Hmmmmm.

Sitting here contemplating a lot at the moment. 

My student teacher - is good with the kids in the classroom but like many student teachers, she is so lacking in confidence it is appalling.  

We have set her a challenge - create your own curriculum.  Yes, we will help her but the idea is that she is meant to have a go at developing something.  

So far I have very little from her.  I have pumped her with lots of ideas.  Any idea that she puts out there I play with, "yes, that could work.  Try looking at it from this angle.  What about doing this the same way you suggested?"  Mostly I get a blank look from her.  

She hasn't smiled that much.

Today she cried.  For 3 periods!  She thinks she is failing!

I have tried to let her know that she is fine - but she doesn't believe me!  Her rapport with the kids is good.  Maybe her knowledge of the subject area (she has a classical focus which is great but we have a jazz/pop focus here) needs some work.

Does anyone out there have any suggestions?  I am worn out from the emotional angst that goes with tears.

I totally understand where she is at.  Gorgeous, my sister, helped me through one of my rounds.  I cried each and every night for, I think, three weeks.  She told me that I was crying because I cared about the teaching aspect.  I see that now.  I couldn't then.

I have asked a few direct questions such as "Do you want me to talk to the other supervising teacher about the issues you are feeling?"  Her response - "I don't know."  This happened a few times today.  I know that it is hard when you are so focused on your own limitations but it is now starting to annoy me....

Please - please - please.  If you have any ideas on what to do send them to me.  I have 3 1/2 more weeks to go.

and our next slide

Today I went to Day 2 of becoming a mentor for my graduate teacher.....

I just want to say this: My god! There are some BORING presenters out there.

While I understand the difficulty in creating an exciting, interesting and creative programme for Primary, Secondary, Special Needs, Government, Independent and Catholic school teachers, BUT the presenters of today's programme need to be revitalised!

Seriously!

We spent 2 hours (30 minutes should have been enough!) reflecting on the process of what we had learnt on Day 1! WTF! I tried to wipe day one from my brain and we had some monotonic male droning on about how we should have implemented the thinking processes from the first day with our mentoree. If I spoke in that same way to my mentoree she would run away and I would not blame her!

I had dutifully filled in the feedback sheet on day 1 and I got stuck into the programme as presented to us. This man spent a good 15 minutes defending the professional development and how 'most of the participants had found the day and process worthwhile'. He commented about the principals and provisionally registered teachers.

Now for my unbiased (I jest) opinion. Most provisionally registered teachers LOVE everything. They are new and everything is new to them. Most principals say "it's good," when they know better. They know that if they comment about how it really is, they will be asked to find a better way. They often take the 'easier' option as there are more pressing matters for them to contend with, like running a school.

The better part of the day was the afternoon when we found out the real nuts and bolts of recommending someone for full registration. It took 1 hour! The woman who was running this session was reasonably good and had at least re written the power point slides to suit her personality.

Another thing - what is it with power points? Why do professional development situations rely on them? If I see another power point presentation at a PD I will explode and then the audience will have something to view. I mean they give you a hand out with all the slides on it as well, then you get documents that they are reading from which is all power point driven. There is no personality in the presentation. In fact I find it difficult to comprehend that a teaching organisation presents Professional Development in such a poor way. It is an insult to the profession I am a part of.

I have run my own PD session (within my faculty at work) and it is hard to make it totally relevant for all. I had the overhead going with the interactive whiteboard, I had handouts and I spent no more than 20 minutes delivering the information. A question and answer session and off we go. I know that this is small compared to what I witnessed today but I had gained some understanding of what was wanted BEFORE I began.

Today we were told. We were not developed. Our expertise was not encouraged dramatically. That was why were there. We had been chosen by our schools to mentor new graduates as we are seen as leaders at various stages of development.

There were some who found the day valuable. For some it was an eye opener. I am lucky I work in a school where we are given this information - often in bucketloads, but at least we are aware. For me, today was about racking up 6 hours of Professional Development towards my 100 hours needed in 5 years time. I am disappointed that I see it this way. I am disappointed that I was not presented with best practice as a reference point to refer to when reflecting on my own teaching.

Tomorrow, thankfully, I am back in the classroom.

Styles

My year 11 and 12 styles class are composing.

My year 12 boy is meant to be composing some serious Classical music. He is having a good time with the technology; it won't let him save his work. He also thinks that if he smiles sweetly enough and plays it fast enough I won't know that he is wasting my time! I am his growling captor - "have you done anything today?" is my usual cry to him......

He has a few Classical thoughts in the music - dynamic use, form, instrumentation etc but he is much more of your Baroque inspired chickens. He likes scalic runs in his music. He also likes to free compose. When I then tried to introduce some Twentieth Century composing ideas to him he freaked out completely. Who knew that the boy actually despises dissonance! He also can't cope with very jagged melodies with pounding accompaniment.

I am trying get him to move his description of music from "it's nice" to something that is quite objective and uses language well. He didn't do this subject last year! AARGH! This subject is like Literature is to English. It is assumed that you have a foundation in language before you begin! When he writes me something it is so subjective with no objective foundation it makes it almost impossible for me to write any coherent responses for him!
enough about him.

The year 11's on the other hand are composing music for a group of Television commercials. They have each picked an age group and a style that they want to compose in. From this they are then making their composition appropriate to their selection and the chain store they are 'working' for. As a group, they came up with the chain store. It was based on the stage bands tour last year. When they told me about it, I laughed and laughed. We are using Garage band to complete it! You should hear the talking/singing that they are recording!

I love this part of my job - working with the kids on their creative development. They get to play with so many options and I get to bounce some ideas with them!

Yesterday I told this class that I was going to hand them over to my next student teacher. I will be in the classroom working closely with my Year 12 student while she teaches my Year 11s. One classroom and two different courses....

I really hope she is better than my last one!