Two days before Christmas and I have to say that this is the hardest time of the year for me. Every year it is the same, although this year I have a heightened sense of despondency.
Christmas day itself is fantastic, as is Boxing day. My family are an amazing bunch of people and I love them dearly. We have fun and chat, laugh and joke for the most part and it is something that I treasure a great deal.
The days leading up to Christmas are just really hard.
It seems to have worsened in the last few years as I realise that I am one of the only single people in my world. My friends are fantastic and keep me involved with their lives. I am always welcome to functions they have, and I am treated like family (because I am) BUT it is not my family.
Having moved in the last 3 weeks I am unsettled to begin with but add to the fact that I am so aware of being single, I find this year REALLY, REALLY hard. I am going out to a few things here and there but I feel that I should be doing more.....but I am so tired.
Bring on the beginning of the new year, things improve for me at that time. Don't know why.....maybe it is because at the end of the year we reflect on what we have and done. I feel I have done a lot but don't have all that I want. (read house and lover....)
enough moping.....time to try and relax and go with the flow.