Saturday, October 31, 2009

transition

The world is an amazing place. There are so many twists and turns that can both delight and daunt you.

If anything in the past fortnight has taught me something - then it is this. Nothing is as it seems. Take nothing for granted and assume that there is always something that you are capable of learning.

Since T's passing, the school has had a different feel. I can't put my finger on what exactly as it is a changeling. All I can say is that I have felt, witnessed and been part of something quite different.

It is not just the school that I have noticed differences - my perceptions of the world seem to be changing. Good. Bad. I have no idea. I feel that I am just more aware of what is going on.

I often don't know what is the 'right' thing to say or do. Often there is no 'right' - just to be. Once upon a time I used to think that I could fix everything. Now I am of the opinion that I can just keep my space that I inhabit in some sort of order. Those that come into my space can work with me or not. I cannot fix what is not mine to fix.

I am feeling very philosophical and cannot go into specifics. One - where do you start and then how do you finish? Two - what is a 'fixable' for me is not something that others need to be part of, and vice versa.

My heart is going out to those family and friends of mine who are facing some challenging and interesting situations at the moment. Some of them didn't sign up for this part of the journey but they are taking the journey because they have been asked. I love them and am here as a witness to their strength and beauty. I have a lot to learn from them.

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