Saturday, May 23, 2009

last night

Last night I went to a social group outing - a different group to who I have met up with before.

Summaries first -
Age group: 50s - so I was out of my depth there! There were 8 of us all up. Then two other ladies arrived.....
Venue: a very old fashioned social club where every man, his wife and their children were! The food was excellent - home cooked Italian, but the ambience - well.........
Host: nice guy who did more than enough for all of his guests.
Potentials? I spent some of the night talking music with one guy for most of the night who seemed interesting. He was a little under 50 but disappeared to talk on the phone......

NOW let me tell you about two of the women who arrived later. I seriously think I have had something tattooed on my forehead that I can't remove which states "come and chat to me about your issues". I believe this is only really visible to people I have just met!

First lady - let's call her Ita. Mid 40s. She is from a traditional Italian background (hence Ita) and is an only child. Last year she stopped her job to become an advocate for her mother. Her mother had fallen and broken her neck and spent a great deal of time in hospitals etc. Her father has lost some of his standard functioning abilities. She was quite upbeat about everything but did she TALK. I didn't know anyone else there so I couldn't chat to anyone else - but they all moved around and away...........she kept talking.

Finally a new lady appeared - Violet late 30s mid 40s - who provided me with some interesting cultural differences between Chinese culture and Australian culture in the world of internet dating. It was fascinating to hear those differences BUT this lady is so intense about the social world and finding a partner.

Violet explained her usage of online dating sites and how she has found it hard to find the serious daters and those that are online for something extra. I understand this - one of the reasons I won't go near online dating sites now......too much hard work just in the sorting process - I think it is a full time job to read those profiles and get an understanding of what is true and what is false. BUT Violet was very angry about the fact that the government allows flase advertising on these sites.

I was amused by the visual thought of the Prime Minister checking the website ads before they are published to check if the people really are single.........

I tried to explain that it is reliant on honesty, which is hard to find, and it is private enterprise. This was when she told me about China 10 years ago (when she last lived there) and online services. ANYONE who has their name on these sites is single. They have either never married or they have been married and have sought a divorce. Either way they have a Certificate of Singleness. (What?)

Violet was adamant that it was a much better system as you knew why everyone was there. They were seriously looking for a long term relationship. None of this extra on the side. The idea of a married person seeking extra really made her angry. She told me it was immoral (agreed) and in China, illegal. (well 10 years ago - I wouldn't know now).

She was thinking about petioning the government to have a law enacted to make online dating sites only for single people..........

She spoke to me for an hour - and somehow in amongst all of this I found myself contemplating meeting her at a social night run by one of the online agencies next Saturday! I am sure I am busy. I don't think I could have another night of such intensity.

I think if I looked at one of the sites I will find her ad very easily. She practically told me what was written on there. The most striking feature was the fact that she has written 'looking for a serious relationship. No others should apply'. Apparantly this hasn't turned away the others looking for extra.

Each evening she spends about an hour looking at male ads......then she told me about how much of a rip-off the purchasing of stamps was.

In summary of Violet - she wants to find a serious man who will understand her very traditional values. If you know of anyone please get them online NOW!

Back to the group - a nice bunch who actually do more walking than dining. The man who runs it was telling me about all the relationships that have formed under his caring eye........

I'll keep you posted.

2 comments:

kitkat said...

What an interesting bunch--at least the two women anyway. I can't stand it when a person talks my ear off. Some people don't realize that a conversation is supposed to be a two-way street, and if you must tell a story, make it brief and well worth it. I just can't stand being talked at and being forced to stay there while others are free to do as they please :)

As for online dating, I can only attest to what I've witnessed through my friends. It seems like there are different sites that encourage a different kind of experience. Sort of a "you get what you pay for" situation. Here, Match.com is for people who just want sex, whereas Eharmony seems to be for the more serious lookers.

River said...

@kitkat- I'm so inept at socialising that I often sit there completely lost for words, or in the other extreme, once I start talking I literally don't know how or when to stop. Embarrassing for everybody, I'm sure, so I stay at home a lot.