Reflection

I'm going away for the weekend.

It's going to be very cold! It has been snowing around the area where I am going.

I think this might mean having to stay inside and drink a bit. What a shame.

Friday, last day of my holidays and I am looking at what I've done - not much really; how I feel - pretty good; preparation for next week - a little but no where near enough. How do I feel about all of this? - don't care really as I have been working long enough to know that the kids will also be a little all over the place for the first few days. (just so you know I don't count weekends as holidays - I have them off all the time.)

The only thing I really have to do is get my head around some Phillip Glass minimalism (light reading while I am away) and Modal Blues by Miles Davis for the year 12 student I am teaching. I need to get my hands on a copy of Miles Davis so that will be something I work on this weekend. Everything else should be fine.

I really needed to stop these holidays, which is what I have done. We have just had a CRAZY term and now comes the BIG one for my department. We have two major concerts and lots of small ones throughout this term and I will be acting as the head of department for the first few weeks.......should be fun.(ha ha ha!)

I am still looking into further study - slowly reading through what the universities can offer me and trying to work out my area of interest. I have so many ideas on what I could look at but was advised by an ex colleague of mine that perhaps the one idea that I was SOOOOOO passionate about might not be good for my future career. On reflection I think she might have been correct. I looked at the implications of studying something that I want to get on the panel of in the future and realised that the place I was starting from was in opposition to what the panel might consider to be correct. Sometimes you have to play politics. You also have to get onto the panel to change something. I'm sorry if I am not being clear in what, where, when and why but I am protecting my future..........

I am in the process of reading my sisters thesis and it has opened many more possibilities to me. The passion that she has written with is amazing and I only hope that I can write with equally the same conviction.

I have also come to the conclusion that I think I will eventually step away from the classroom in my career but I am not sure exactly where I will end up. This is an ongoing thought process with me and a few friends rib me about it when I raise the idea of finding something beyond teaching...."so, do you mean it this time?" I know that they mean it in jest and I often will say to the people I discuss these ideas with, that I am only using them as a sounding board to air my ideas for the future - often quite distant future. It is scary, but I feel that distant future is coming to me quite quickly and I am not sure exactly where it is I am meant to be heading. It will sort itself out if I give myself permission to honestly evaluate my position.

I am still very passionate about teaching - but it is the politics of the school, away from the students, that I don't care for. Some people thrive on "gossip" but I would prefer to thrive on the success of each individual in the classroom.