Wednesday, May 14, 2008

last night

I went out for dinner last night and it was a very interesting experience.

I arrived late and was on a different table to people I knew quite well (hi K and Foo) but I was soon surrounded by people that (as I might have described previously) were on the strange scale. I am on the strange scale and I can move from just a little weird to "Where the hell did that come from?" bizarre. I generally try to tone it down a little when I am out and about - you don't want to scare off the natives.

Let me describe the people I sat with as best as I can. I was opposite Nice Woman who I haven't seen in a while but I don't know her that well, we talked for a little bit but it was hard to make conversation. She and I didn't really get into anything challenging and she was keeping her comments very polite.

Next to me, on my right, was a man I would like to describe as Mr Smarmy. He goes to many a dinner but never eats. He is there to socialise, drink and basically check out the women. He finds me a challenge to deal with as I speak my mind. I have done it all my life - I am not one who is afraid to call the a spade a bloody shovel. I also tower over him in height and probably weigh a few kilos more than him, that could intimidate anyone.

Down the way opposite the Mr Smarmy, and beside Nice Woman was the Power Pack. She came in and was rude to everyone from the beginning. I wasn't there right when she arrived but I can tell you she was a Power Pack all the way through. At one point she asked Nice Woman to get the movie guide from someone else. Nice Woman got the guide and was reading it as she thought she might like to go and see a movie. Power Pack waited a good 5 minutes and then snapped at Nice Woman "Well I did ask you to get the guide for me. What are you doing?" I couldn't help myself at this point and countered her aggressive question with "What's wrong with your telepathy? Nice Woman was reading and you should have been able to read her mind." Power Pack didn't quite round on me but she was pretty damn close. I was amused.

During this excitement Toy Boy came in. Toy Boy is so named as he is a good 10 years younger than me, but flirts like nothing else. The fun part is when I actually flirt back - and being the quiet, shy, retiring type that I have described earlier - it throws out his sensibilities. He isn't sure if I am serious or not.......but he keeps coming back for more. His body language indicates that he is interested somewhat in me, but if I pushed him he would run for the hills. I should also state that I am one of the few people Toy Boy even considers talking to. He thinks that there are only a few people in the world worthy of his company, lucky me!

When he arrived he ordered something from the menu and then complained bitterly about the standard of food that he got. Toy Boy does this often so I jacked up about it last night, but without getting nasty. I asked him why he was so fussy. No real answer. When the waiter came back to get the plates and asked if everything was ok, Toy Boy said it was fine. I asked him why he didn't really say something to the staff if it was that bad. No answer.

My dinner was very entertaining as Toy Boy and Mr Smarmy chatted behind my head about women in general and some poor wench who actually dated Mr Smarmy, Power Pack bitched at anyone that was within striking distance and Nice Woman stared vaguely into the distance. While this was going on K and Foo were making faces at me from the next table.....Thanks guys!

When we got to the main reason for the night - birthdays of many of the people there (popular month is May) we had Teacher Lady jump up and direct proceedings. She is a natural leader, Teacher Lady, but she is a right royal pain in the bum. It is her way or the highway. She directs everything - from seating arrangements, why I was on the other table as we don't see eye to eye, to cash flow. Teacher Lady got the wait staff to bring out a cake she had purchased and then asked everyone to contribute a bit of money towards the purchase of it. I don't mind doing this if I know in advance. I did it last night but it left me in a little bit of a bad mood.........She then put candles on the cake and said "Everyone sing!"

Teacher Lady was very close to Healer Man. Healer Man is a little off centre. He is into natural therapies and actually practices but can't stop himself from trying to heal the whole population. If you have a heavy cold in your chest it is something to do with the emotional baggage you can't throw off. I was interested in Healer Man at one stage until I found out how vehemently he believes this - he told me that breast cancer is due to the inability to nurture. I find that really hard to stomach......You can have your beliefs but don't try to shove them down my throat. The ironic twist with Healer Man, who believes that you should try to resolve so much of your life to live healthily (true) is that he is a VERY ANGRY man. So many people are scared to get on his bad side - they don't want to be black listed by him.

The closeness between ANGRY Healer Man and domineering Teacher Lady means that most people feel unable to express their opinions, especially if they're opposite. If you mixed that in with the aggression of Power Pack, last night was an absolute hoot! I'm glad I went so I have something to blog about.


Stomper Girl said...

Wow. If I ever get breast cancer I'll know it was my fault! I think you were wise to steer clear of Healer Man.

Laura Jane said...

Wow - what a night!

You do move in the strangest of circles! I think I would have taken the same tack - tease/prod/set cats among the pigeons while being completely sure that I was A. not gonna pick up and B. The most sane and well adjusted person at the table - ANGRY healer man notwithstanding!

Have you considered joining a choir?

For the record - his breast cancer theory - complete bollocks to him!

Vanessa said...

Wow! What a crazy dinner. You could almost write a book or movie with that cast of characters!