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Finally the photos of the trip.

2011-06-06T15:26:00.009+10:00

Well I am now putting up the photos - some of them, of my trip away. They didn't get up any sooner as I was in a state of shock returning to work....the whole having to get up early in the dark and cold!!!!!! (what's that about!) I have had some time with my family sorting a few things out that are quite pressing.....but never mind about that. I'm home today with a 'twingy' back....lean to do something and it lets me know that it exists! (osteopath later today should help me back on track....)

FRANCE - PARIS

There is a tradition throughout Europe where padlocks are clamped onto a bridge with names or initials on them. It is to signify true love....the major places where I saw this tradition was Paris, Florence and Verona.

So many things amazed me about Paris - in particular the artworks, the architecture and the general atmosphere. Life seemed to begin 9pm each evening......not sure when it ended as I was tucked up in bed as each day had a new set of adventures that had to be undertaken.

I learnt many things here......communication is incredibly important, ie where and when to meet your travel partners when you even THINK you might separate.

Highlights of Paris.....The Louvre - but not for the Mona Lisa.....just everything else. My jaw was constantly in the open position! Palace at Versailles and the overall architecture.

(General architecture....grand staircase in the palace in Versailles and a quick look at the gardens there....)

Things that I wasn't to fussed over....The queues at the Eiffel tower and everywhere else and the fact that there were army officials with machine guns at all the major features.

FRANCE - AVIGNON

Probably the most intriguing places that I have been to. It was small but busy. We stayed in the historical section of the place but I ended up walking 2kms past the walls as we were there on a Sunday and the only chemist open was beyond the walls.....

I loved the interesting things there that were different from Paris. The fact that many people did not speak English which challenged my French speaking abilities. I have to say that I loved the challenge and it has sparked a little interest in my linguistic skills.

Did I dance on the bridge? No......but only due to it's age and width.

Recovering

2011-05-23T15:48:00.003+10:00

I arrived back in Melbourne Friday night/Saturday morning. I foolishly thought that I would be able to jump into bed and get to sleep straight away and jetlag would not be an issue. This thought was despite the many, many warnings that friends and family have given me. I never really got it! 22 hours travel time through a fast speed day (flew from day into dark then through a day back into dark!)

Sure enough, I got into bed and did not sleep for 5 hours!

I then slept for 5 hours.

I then sort of got through the day in a slight delirium.

10.30 pm got to bed and asleep. Awake midnight. No more sleep.

Sunday was my godsons 4th birthday. Nothing like going to a 4 year old party when you are vague as all giddyup!

Dozed on the couch at 6.30pm....awake at 7.30pm. Bed by 7.45 asleep not long after. I woke at 5am this morning. I am still very tired but I am not delirious. The aim is to have another early night tonight......maybe after my current favourite tv show has finished.

I will review my trip and put in a few photos tomorrow.

Thank goodness I don't have to work until next week!

Traveling on

2011-05-16T02:02:00.004+10:00

Venice.

We arrived yesterday and it was warm, today not so. As we left the hotel it started to spit a little but this soon became quite strong rain and we all ended up going back for umbrellas and warmer tops.

The past four weeks have been interesting if not very educational. As usual, you learn lots about yourself as you travel but most importantly you learn about others. One of the women - the one who wanted to sit a lot in Paris, is really quite painful to travel with. To give her some credit this is her first major journey overseas besides Bali and she is extremely set in her ways. I am frustrated with her continually comparing, out loud, the city, service, food, whatever to that in Melbourne. Yes, I realize that I live in an amazing city BUT we are traveling and things will be done differently. It's like comparing apples and oranges. I cringe each time I hear her open her mouth in regards to the situation we are in.

What frustrates me mainly is that she orders from the menu without asking any questions then complains when what is delivered doesn't meet her expectations. The classic line today might explain things far more clearly....."the Italians could learn a lot from the ones in Melbourne." This line I couldn't let go as it was so patronizing......I pointed out that the italians in Melbourne have adapted to Australian expectations and what we get is one aspect of Italian lifestyle. She had a few more patronizing statements to make but I let them go.

Of my own opinions regarding the food - I have only really had one bad meal. This was in Barcelona on our last night before getting on the cruise ship. It started raining and we dived into the first place and ordered a few things. One of my companions looked at a few 'specials' on a poster on the wall and was told "no madam, they are decoration only." I decided that a local meal would be good....no. When in Barcelona do not get sausage and beans. That's what you get...nothing more nothing less. It was disgusting. Everything else I have ordered has been an adventure but always tasty.

I was expecting to enjoy the cruise but have now realized that life is not for me. Don't get me wrong, I haven't minded having someone do make my bed everyday, cooking for me and waiting on me. That has been a joy but when I travel I like to spend everyday looking at things. In the thirteen days of the cruise we had six days of "at sea". This frustrated me. My traveling companions seemed to like the down time but I really wanted to explore the places a bit more by land...not scoot on by on water.....Then there was the on board entertainment.....it felt like they were trying to set up a three ring circus for the entertainment of the guests.

Some of the things were really good but I was a mostly nonplussed by the rest. The night shows in the big theatre were thoroughly entertaining. The onboard musicians were amazing and extremely hard working but I don't do the nightclub thing at home and found the night time discos a bit too blech.

The friend I went with loved everything that they offered. She has done a cruise before and knew what to expect and was trying hard to get me interested in things. I did do a few things and did enjoy the hotel aspect of it, and for a day found the resort life great but cruising is not for me...at least not for the next 25 years.

I loved Greece and Italy. I'm not certain about Turkey. There were amazing things that I saw but I found that I was exhausted at the end of each and every day from having to concentrate on person to person dealings. The crush of people in Istanbul was suffocating as was the lack of women in prominent positions in tourist places. I learnt that if a man approaches you in the street to assist you, he wants to sell you something. This made for a few interesting encounters on our first day in Istanbul until we worked out the lay of the land.

My bartering on the second day there was getting quite good, although I still have a lot to learn. At least I can say that I paid no more than half price for anything...I think on a few things I might have been to cut the price further but when you calculate from one currency to another, then we paid nothing for what we got.

My favorite line in the Grand Bazaar was from a handbag salesman "let me sell you something you don't need". At least he was honest.

I've also had this bizarre experience of collecting phone numbers of men in nearly every city. It has been unusual but has done my ego a great deal of good.

There are things I will change about myself when I get home....I am planning on being out a little more than what I am. I am also going to ensure I speak more than one language. I have done well with my high school French and musicians Italian, but it is not enough.

I also want to make sure that I buy a house when I get home....numb one priority.

I have loved my travels but I am ready to go home now.

Paris

2011-04-24T05:24:00.003+10:00

Bonjour from Paris,

It's always interesting to get on a plane and finding yourself in another country and really discovering your inner strengths.

I am traveling with a group of women that I really haven't really known before this trip. A week down and all is going white well. Of course there are the teething issues as we try to work out our differences of personalities...... We are four women who have been. Around a while and we are strong personality types. The woman I am sharing with is lovely and the most caring woman I have known, but I am a little frustrated by her nattering away to herself as she gets things ready in the morning.....night time nothing emits from her mouth as she sorts out her space so I find it interesting to have her chatting lots in the morning. I am not really a morning person so I have to look past this - which I am, but it is an idiosyncrasy that I find a challenge. I know that I have my own challenges for anyone sharing with me.

Paris was probably the best place for us to work out the way we work together. It is generally a safe place. Sure there are pockets, as in most cities, where it is dangerous but we are discovering how we work in a gentle place. I have discovered that I am the navigator and the interpreter. Today I even became the tour guide. I take 100s of photos a day then edit them down......it's fabulous.

Highlights of Paris include the view from the Eiffel tower and the amazing chocolate drinks I have had.

I have really hated the queues and did suggest we get out tickets for most of the major attractions, but it didn't happen so we waited a long time for tickets.....suggestion for future travelers buy your tickets early! Future trips for me will mean this.

I am tired due to little sleep and the fact that I am traveling with two women who believe you should be moving all the time....even without a real purpose....we discussed this over drinks and dinner tonight and I suggested again to purchase tickets to major attractions as soon as we land at our hotel in barcelona.....there now seems to be agreement over this. Once in the new hotel, I will write further...if there is free wifi...gotta love that!

challenges

2011-04-15T13:55:00.003+10:00

I have just about packed for my month in Europe and the Mediterranean.....but the week has been emotionally very challenging!

The day that I moved house my mother ended up in hospital and it was discovered that the cancer that she had dealt with a few years ago has re emerged. Her protein count was high and the oncologist felt that we needed to reduce that. She started on a treatment of chemotherapy.

A month later and the protein count had halved. Another month and the protein count had halved again BUT a lump had appeared in her groin region.

I took her to her specialist appointment and we discussed the new lump. Off we went to get a biopsy under ultrasound. I saw the size of the lump and it was massive considering where it was. 6.5cm x 4.9cm. Way too big for the body no matter where it is! I kept a straight face (read poker face) while I looked at this lump appearing on the screen in front of me.

My sister took my mother to her follow up appointment with the oncologist on Monday this week. He asked mum what she wanted to do. His discussion before asking this question was along the lines of we ignore the blood readings (all great and dropping) and notice the lump (growing by the day) as this is a real indication of what is happening in the body. The lump indicates that the cancer has taken a hold in the body and that even if mum took on the chemotherapy and radiotherapy, there is no guarantee that it will work.

Before any treatment (chemo/radio) we have to reduce the fluid in her leg. Her right leg is 2 - 2 1/2 times the size of her left leg I believe.

So mums decision was to reduce the amount of fluid in her leg. Then she is considering further...or she was until yesterday. Yesterday she made the statement "When I begin the treatment...." news to my sister.....

All of this is rather confronting to begin with. What makes the issue hard for me to deal with is the fact that my mother does not really want to deal with the information with us (her children) directly. After she had been to the doctor my mother asked my sister to ring the family as she couldn't deal with talking to two of my siblings. My mother then said that she was going to ring her friends........

I have been planning on ringing my mother to talk to her before I set off on my trip but she beat me to that.....

Her opening was "I haven't heard from you so I thought I should be the one to ring you...I thought you might need to discuss what I am going through." Why yes, I hadn't rung you as I was of the opinion you didn't want to discuss with your children your health.....we seem to be behind your friends on this issue, and then absolutely ripping the heart out of your kids when they don't ring you directly......damned if you do or don't.

I know that my mother is facing an interesting situation which may not work out in a positive way for her BUT I really wish she didn't sound like she was enjoying the ill health.

If I sound like I am being not being understanding then I apologise. My mother does not make it easy to help her......I love her but I hate her behaviour.

Having said all that, I am off on my trip and I will enjoy myself. I probably wont blog from there but I will put in some highlights for me when I return. Once I am back then I will think about the situation as is....

Cheap......feck!

2011-03-28T15:30:00.001+11:00

I got this from my cousin on fb and I think it's very, very funny! As I am traveling in 3 weeks time I decided to add this into my blog.....Enjoy!

friday out in Frankston! (OMG what was I thinking?)

2011-03-04T23:38:00.003+11:00

I have to tell you about the night out I have just had......I am still incredibly amused by the whole thing...although I am trying to avoid sleeping in case I have nightmares!

I arranged to meet a friend from work at 7pm. I thought at an Italian restaurant but she thought at the pub. In hindsight we should have started at the pub and ended at the restaurant.

One bottle of red purchased at the bottle shop and into the restaurant we go. The food was ok, we shared a pizza and it was just that.....nothing special like I am used to. (yes I am a food snob when I eat out.....especially on a Friday.) The conversation was quite good and after 1/2 a bottle of red each it was flowing quite nicely. I felt that there was something that she wanted to say but was not quite ready.....

After almost 2 1/2 hours we headed to the pub where the guitarist was playing.....or so we thought! I parked my car and in we went. I haven't paid a cover charge in years! Tonight I did. $7 and we headed to the bar. I got onto the non-alcoholic and my work friend had a shot of bourbon with a splash of coke.....ewww!

In amongst all of this a young puppy came-a-calling. This guy was 21 and he told us many a time! He insisted on buying us drinks - mere fact we had full glasses. In fact having a conversation with this guy was very much like trying to converse with a goldfish. The 3 second rule definitely applied with this guy. "do you want a drink?" "no, thankyou"

"do you want a drink? Can I buy you one?" "no, it's ok but thankyou."

"are you right for a drink?" "no, I'm ok"

At first I thought the pup was interested in me. WRONG! My friend was "cute" and the pup wanted to know if he could kiss her. When reminded that she had told him that she was 40 he decided that wasn't important. We then said it would be like kissing his mother......nothing..... The best part was the fact that he asked permission to kiss my friend from me! Once he realised that he was not going to be given permission, he left....

In amongst all of the non-action with the young pup, my friend decided that this was the time to let loose about her marriage. I copped an earful. I haven't met the husband and so could only stand there and nod my head and make the right noises. Not really much help. (I also decided that she might just be high maintenance......just putting it out there. Got no real ideas about it though, it was just my gut thought.)

I know that my friend wanted a BIG night out as she is bored with home....she never goes out, but I couldn't do that. 11.10 I was ready to get out the door. I told my friend and she agreed, although a little reluctantly.

If the music had been decent, the crowd just a little older (maybe by 10 years!) and there weren't so many idiots out, I might have wanted to stay. I had a good night really.......I think I did before the pub!

Change of design.....change of mindset.....

2011-02-27T19:25:00.002+11:00

I've changed the background to my blog.....I feel much better within myself and I want to show it.....

I'm reading some interesting books at the moment....

Who's Pulling Your Strings? - basically a book that looks at how to change how you respond and set yourself up for manipulators.....
Habits Aren't Just for Nuns - a book that looks at how you set yourself up, particularly your mindset, for healthy relationships.
The Art of Loving - a much older book (written in the 1950s) that looks at the world of love and the various love relationships you can have, starting with the self.

By reading these books, I am on a discovery of the amazing person that I really am but have forgotten to acknowledge. I am loving the journey that I am on. I have much more energy to deal with more 'difficult' people that I encounter.

I also feel that I have the ability to look at where I am in a much more relaxed fashion without the overriding feeling of guilt. That's not to say that I am not susceptible to stupid thoughts, but rather that I am able to actually recognise them (hopefully) and treat them differently to what I have done before.

This is the first weekend, or even weeknight, that I have taken any work home with me. I made the decision to not engage heavily with my work. It seems to have paid off. I will work a little later each night of the week, but I feel that I give enough during the day and that I need to ENSURE that I switch off as much as possible. This weekend I have really played with a wikispace for my senior music students. I have uploaded so much stuff and set up pages which I can add to throughout the week. It excites me no end! By setting this up, I am hoping that I have extra time in the class to do practical work with the kids.

I feel much more in control than I did in Jan.....

deleted thoughts

2011-02-26T12:32:00.002+11:00

I have deleted a post that I wrote over a month and a half ago when I was really hurting.

I have had time to think about what I had written and what I was really going through.

I discussed the post with a couple of people and after I had thought through what I had said, what had happened and my reactions, I decided it was better to get rid of it.

The post wasn't a true indication of who I really am.

where am I now?

2011-02-24T19:52:00.002+11:00

I am about to start to delve in the emotional state of my being.....well......not right now. It's something that my counselor and I are working on in the next little while.

I am not the happiest at work. I love my job.....

I love the kids.

I love my peers.

I don't love the crap that goes on elsewhere within the workplace.....things that make me have to balance my creativity with the work place ethics/policies and anything else that detracts from my ability to free-form think.

The analogy of my life (according to my counselor) is the soul is like music - it can be bold, it can be vulnerable and it can be beautiful. The teacher aspect of my life is the guardian who is always wanting to protect the soul......It's always strong and is always looking for ways to protect me...

this is where the inner conflict starts.......this is where the question of who am I trying to please begins.......

I have a big couple of weeks (maybe longer) ahead of me.....

Just thought that you would like to be kept up with the journey.....

tv

2011-02-16T21:34:00.003+11:00

Having not watched commercial television for so long, especially news and current affairs based shows, I find watching tv bizarre!

I have just watched some ads for magazines that are telling me what I NEED. Basically, I need the magazine. I have also seen many ads for slimming products and companies. Having not watched tv I have realised how many times these ads come up! How many kilos can you lose in one month? How many dress sizes can you lose? Watch tv long enough and you lose your self esteem.

I have now watched some tv shows and I am wondering who wants to watch them? I think I will go back to the doctor imposed blackban of tv and current affairs......

catch up

2011-02-15T19:52:00.002+11:00

You know when you're a star when a google search that leads to you is "h on forehead" and "tv show"....

Had a great rant today at the ENTIRE staff I work with. What amused me was I pretty much called them all "pigs". But then if the shoe fits! (to do with a number of people's inability to actually get their dishes to the dishwasher and rubbish in a bin!) Obviously my friends are nothing like this!

I'm much more in control of the thoughts that dance through my mind.....Reading two great books to help me sort out the trash from the treasure. "The Art of Loving" and "Habits aren't just for nuns". Very simple to read and easy to understand books. Highly recommended.

jsut something that I have to.....

2011-02-09T21:31:00.002+11:00

I was sent this and thought that I would share this with you all!

In this world of hi-tech, I have noticed that many who text messages and email have forgotten the "art" of capitalization. (ie to know when to use capital letters). Those of you who fall into this category, please take note of the following statement:

'Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.'

I cannot stress enough that proper use of grammar can be most important!

Only 19......

2011-02-01T21:52:00.002+11:00

I am finding that I have much more energy - although I am not doing much with the energy, since I started talking to the psychologist.

I returned to work this week and it has been good to get some basic idea of a routine sorted out. I have decided to leave work each day at 4.30, although today I failed dismally as I was talking to people that I care deeply about. Tomorrow is the day that I will start that plan.

Yesterday was a particularly hard day in my return to work. We were informed that one of the students from my 2009 year 12 class died over the weekend from natural causes.

He was at his girlfriend's house and got up, then collapsed. She was the only one there and tried to revive him but couldn't. He was/is 19. She - 18.

They believe it to be a heart attack - but an autopsy will have to be conducted.

I can only imagine the turmoil the parents of this beautiful young man must be going through. His younger brothers must think that they are living a nightmare. I know that when my father died when I was 12 I kept thinking that one day I would wake up and it would all just be a dream and my father would walk in the door. He never did, and I found myself in a spin most of the time.

I am blown away by such a tragedy. I don't know what to think, let alone do. This young man had a zest for life that was inspiring. 19 is way too young. I am angry, I am sad and I am numb from this news.

This is what I have learnt:

Hug your kids.
Hug your parents.
Enjoy life.
Be thankful for every day that you have.

lighter

2011-01-27T22:50:00.002+11:00

It's really good talking to someone who doesn't know my background or have an impression on me from elsewhere. You get the chance to say something then get the opportunity to have to justify what you are saying with evidence.......It has been refreshing.

I have plenty of things to say and I am getting questioned closely about my beliefs and the situation that I find myself in.

I am seeing connections where I hadn't seen them before.

I have a certain lightness about me. I feel that I have lifted a number of things. My mind is not as noisy as it was before. I am much, much calmer.

I have heaps to sort out and I know that they will sort out.

putting some things together.....

2011-01-19T18:07:00.003+11:00

I had another session with my therapist today and now I have a headache.

She asked me lots of interesting questions which made me think really hard. Probably a good thing too, but now I have a headache.

The questions made me see relationships between the way my mother told me she was proud of me (which she didn't) and how when I talk to her now she really doesn't really leave room for me to talk about me........and then finding myself tongue-tied when I am out on a date.....interesting thoughts.

She also had a few things to say about use of energy in areas where you really shouldn't be expending the energy. (Frogdancer, you would love what she said!) Basically I need to think about the house I am living in as a place where I live - and just that.....nothing more....

improving

2011-01-16T10:34:00.003+11:00

Now I realise that my last few posts have been rather sad, but that is where I have been emotionally. As I stated, I had never intended for this blog to be as personal as it has become.

Today I am not as sad as I have been. I feel as if I have got some control back. Control over what? I'm not sure. All I can say is that I feel a little more content than I have been.

There are things that need to be sorted - because I can't go on the way I have been. But I have realised that given time, things can settle.

I have had a good few days. I have been out and about. Yesterday was a fantastic day and I met a whole lot of people that I have never met before.

I am eating better. I am sleeping better. It's all good really.

all by myself.....

2011-01-14T12:11:00.002+11:00

It has rained for the past 24 hours. As a result I spent the day on my own as the rain was really heavy and I didn't want to travel too far in the rain.

It was an interesting day. I have not spent a whole day with myself by choice in 4 months. Since I moved here I have done lots of things to avoid spending the time with myself. I have gone out and done "things" and caught up with people but because I was so ill at ease with my environment and myself, I have been quite stressful to be around.

Yesterday, I spent the day just being here and not really thinking about anything. The tv was on all day by about 4pm I was bored. I threw that onto my fb status and a friend of mine told me to embrace the boredom, reminding me that when work goes back I won't have the time to sit and do nothing.

I then discovered, through fb chat, that many people were sitting doing nothing, or as they put it "chillin'".

It's funny. I have thought that I was here on my own. There are many people doing exactly the same thing. In a way, that has made me feel better. I have always been aware that many people are on their own, but I had never really seen myself in the same way. I was always of the opinion that I had lots going on and therefore never really alone BUT it occurred to me that I have given myself the opportunity to be alone but never allowed myself to experience it.

This morning I have done nothing but watch tv. This is something that I have never really done before - just sit and blob. Allowing myself the time and space to do nothing. As a kid we were NOT allowed to turn on the tv before 7.30pm. I am feeling guilty about watching tv. But apart from those reading, who else needs to know?

The thing that I have discovered about being on my own is that I might over react to things around me. With all of the humidity, condensation has come into the house. It has been so warm for the last few days and the inside of the house is just getting moist. So not only is it raining outside but it is getting icky inside.

Last night, having spent the whole day in my own company, I discovered that the kitchen lino was wet. I thought the water outside was coming in........ oh how I panicked. I texted a friend and discovered that it was normal - just to avoid slipping.

After 20 minutes of a slight panic, I realised that I was over reacting. This is a major achievement over these holidays - to realise that I am over reacting......woo hoo! Something to watch for.

raining.........

2011-01-13T12:48:00.004+11:00

Since Monday I have pretty much stopped watching and listening to current affairs. In my chat with the doctor, he suggested that I focus on me - without listening to what is going on elsewhere.

I know there are devastating floods in Queensland and my heart goes out to all the people there. I also know that parts of New South Wales and Victoria are also experiencing floods but not to the same degree.

What is probably hard for many other people to get is the fact that I don't know the details and I don't want to know the details. Anyone who has blogged about the floods, I haven't read. Any news item at any stage gets switched off. I am watching plenty of retro television.

For me, this is a very unusual state of affairs. I have always liked to know what is going on in the world. I have always had an interest in what others are going through and this feels really selfish. I care, but I just don't.......

It's raining heavily here now and I can only assume what the issues are facing others around the country.

and so it begins

2011-01-12T20:47:00.002+11:00

I had my first appointment today. I'm not going to dwell on what I said, or didn't say. What I am more interested in is the journey that I have started on.

Some of the things that came up is the idea of my lack of relationships might (and I stress that beyond anything) be related to the fact that I watched my father die, then watched as my mother didn't cope with relationships after that......this was all from the age of 12 onwards. Hard core.

Anxiousness in the house - could be what I am bringing in with me.......

I am both scared and excited about the journey......

smooth sailing begins

2011-01-10T21:32:00.002+11:00

It has been a tumultuous few days dealing with me. I have been on a roller coaster of emotion....I seem to have calmed down a great deal and have made a few great decisions for myself.

First - I have struggled with eating. When my nervous system is on edge, then everything else falls apart. I am a nightmare! Don't sleep and don't eat.....thus begins the rollercoaster. I have also had a issue with cooking. I don't want to. Talking to my sister yesterday she suggested that I don't. I sat with that and decided not to cook. As a result I have ordered liteneasy (the fact that I will be on a calorie controlled diet is nothing to sneeze at either) for 5 days worth of lunch and dinner. It is more expensive than cooking myself - but at the moment I am throwing out the food I am buying because I don't want to cook it.

Next thing that I have done is acknowledged the fact that I am uncomfortable in my house at the moment. So I was referred to this website and I have cleansed my house with salt. I came in tonight and it was a totally different feeling. I will have lavender essential oil in the oil burner tomorrow. It is something quite different but it is something that I am coping with beautifully.

I have made the decision that I needed to talk to someone and so I saw the doctor today. There is more to my world than just moving house, feeling alone etc*. The moving house raised so many issues and has led to an anxiousness that leads to panic attacks. Shit really! So I see someone to chat to on Wednesday - just for the short term who can guide me back to the path of awesomeness. (I am now on the path next door and am observing the awesomeness and wanting it back!)

I feel much calmer within myself. The headaches that I have had have gone. My shoulders have started to let go of my ears. I haven't cried as much today as I have over the past few days, although I was perfectly teary at the doctors.

My blog has become a lot more personal than I ever anticipated it to be. It is my way of letting a lot of crap out and the experience is quite amazing to me. I have no idea who is reading - and I don't really care. This is now my journey to finding a calmer, more fantabulous me. It will still be anonymous and if you know me in real life, then please don't ask me about the journey, unless you REALLY want to hear crap......:)

* My mother was recently diagnosed with little legions on her lungs - having ended up in hospital the day after I moved house...... She is a woman who sees herself as being the centre of the universe and talks non stop about her issues....no one else! The most she has asked me about my move is "How's the cat coping?" For the record, the cat is going along well. She loves the stairs.

calmer waters

2011-01-08T17:47:00.002+11:00

I have calmed down since yesterday.

I was over tired.

I am less so now.

I know what I need to work on.

I need to be calm with myself.

I need to give myself permission and I need time.

I am prepared that things will be bumpy but the end goal will be worth it!

I thank you for the advice that I have received from you Joh and Frogdancer. I am listening and I am pondering.

I thank my friend for her hit and run. It was off the mark - but it was damn close. My reaction is my reaction, not her intention.

I am lucky to have the friends I do because they are reflections of who I am and who I like to be.

from thought to plan.

2011-01-04T10:00:00.002+11:00

The trouble with trying to sort things out so that you feel more comfortable with where you are is having to go through the process. Living with your thoughts is not the most comfortable thing to do.

I set about improving my chances of meeting that special someone by going out pretty much every night for the past three weeks. I am now exhausted! Combine that with unpacking your mind and allowing things to sort themselves out - you over think things! I am annoying myself with this process. I think I have become a little neurotic. Scratch that.....I am behaving in a neurotic fashion because I am so tired and over thinking things.

I have made a decision that I will probably be out less often. (It is quite costly going out too.....and trying to make sure I have money to move into my own place and go away.....)

My sister did tell me that every person you meet has their tale to tell. By allowing myself to listen to others I have heard some really interesting tales. The other night a woman made mention of the fact that it doesn't matter how many massages you have, if the mind isn't settled, you will never really relax. This is a woman who has spent money going to 6-star relaxation joints and realised that she could have saved her money by spending a bit more money on herself. It was just a passing comment but it touched a nerve with me.

I have a tendency to over think things. But that is the issue. I think things - I don't process them and allow them to sort themselves out.

I have a room to try and sort out. The plan is to start to unpack the boxes and in the process develop some plans for myself. I will spend a few hours each day doing the unpacking, then I am going to relax and do very little.

a story for the year

2011-01-01T17:09:00.004+11:00

Once upon a time there was a woman who found herself on the first day of a new decade a little lost. She went to the beach and contemplated a few things.

First she thought of how alone she was. This was due to the fact that she went to a party last night and there were many couples around. It was also a reflection on the fact that she looked around her and saw nothing but couples on the beach.

Then she started to think how things had lined up the way she had hoped they would. No life partner, no house....actually the feeling of no real security.

Following this passing thought she realised that she wanted things to happen now! Not in a few months time but now! She was sick of waiting.

Then she remembered to breath. As she breathed she focused on the waves and the clouds. She started to think how things really aren't as bad as she thought they were. She remembered that last night she danced up a storm with a group of people who told her that her attitude was impressive. She remembered how there was a tall, dark handsome man who made her feel lovely. Then she remembered how much fun she had all together.

Another thought that then ran through her head was the fact that she hasn't quite worked out how to get from making polite but flirty conversation with a tall attractive man, to getting his phone number (or giving hers) and taking the next step.

Breathing again she worked through the whole thing and reflected on the fact that it was fear that was holding her back. This made her think about how fearless she had been in her life and on something so intimate she was scared shitless.

She got up and strolled back to her home with a two thoughts running through her head. Patience and overcoming fear. That was what her new years thoughts led to......Overcome her fear of the intimate and develop some patience to allow it to happen.

Settling in......

2010-12-30T17:28:00.002+11:00

You have to laugh really. Here I was concerned about the unit and how I would get along in it.

Today the owner came to fix the windows. he started at 11.30 and left around 5pm. He was scraping the old stuff out of the frames, then he filled them up again. He scraped down the edges of the windows and made them fit. In his scraping and sanding and filling, he discovered that the windows needed a lot more work than he anticipated! But we talked amiably about Jazz music and he helped me get the dvd connected to the stereo system.......so I can listen to the artists that he was thinking I should listen to! In amongst all of this he cleaned the upstairs windows! It is startlingly bright up there now!

He patched the holes in the floor. It took him a while work out how to fill the big hole but he sorted that out. He was so impressed with the way that he had filled in the hole, he had to show me and tell me about the process. He was so excited. It was cute.

I made coffee and we talked of the coffee culture that has developed in the time he has lived here in Melbourne. I made tea (white tea) and we talked about the different sorts of teas that you can get. When I asked if he wanted tea, he replied "yes, white tea" which then led me to ask if that was black tea with milk or actual white tea? It was incredibly confusing. I think he wanted black tea with milk but decided to try the white tea. He decided that it didn't have much of a taste and he might avoid it in the future.

He heard the boys (likely lads) using the pool and then heard one of the other residents go off like a banshee at them for them to leave. It was an entertaining moment. I asked him if he had heard the commotion and he replied that he had. I told him they were the boys who decided to use the pool...."ah! Free pool for dropkick kids! Lovely."

I was entertained by the lady going off. She has young kids and they wanted to use the pool but felt a bit intimidated the lads......she was fabulous. I felt like going out and cheering her on but thought better of it as I have made the decision to ignore the pool. I was on the phone to a friend of mine when the lady went off, and she heard it on the other end of the phone! My friend asked me if I have or will use the pool. Probably not is my thoughts. Why would I use a pool when the beach is so close and the water doesn't look the cleanest that I have seen.

I am now sitting contentedly on my couch about to cook dinner for myself and have an early night in a room where the windows actually seal up and the air doesn't come through. I might not hear the trains going past! It is my first night home in days and I am so looking forward to having time at home!

This morning I went for a walk on the beach. 30 minutes and I managed a km up the beach and back again.

What was I so concerned about?

unwind

2010-12-29T11:32:00.003+11:00

I have made an early New Years' Resolution.....but I wont be telling anyone the exact wording of it. It is more about me getting things happening.

Leaving that aside for the time being, I have been rather busy doing nothing these last few days. I think I am just getting the hang of doing not much, and I believe it suits me well.

To try and unwind I decided to do a jigsaw puzzle that I have had in the house for a few years. 500 pieces that I thought that it might just last me to the end of the year.

I started Monday and finished yesterday. It was a great picture of dolphins, fish and other sea critters swimming in a beautiful blue ocean with a vibrant yellow sky. The shape of the pieces was the tricky bit, but the fact that there was only one of each fish underwater made it easy.

Each evening I have made sure that I am out. Monday night I went to see 'Heartbreaker', a great film which I didn't register was going to be in French when I decided to go. It was a surprise when the movie started as a this gorgeous French language came out at me. 30 seconds later and I settled in for watching a very entertaining film with subtitles.

Last night I went out for great Malaysian dinner with a group of people that I don't really know and had a great time.

Tonight, jazz in the inner city.

Holidays are great!

Christimas day

2010-12-25T21:53:00.003+11:00

Christmas night and the place is quite still.

The day has been very entertaining. There were 12 of us who sat down to lunch at my sisters house.

The only draw back to the day was the amount of driving I did. I left at 11.30 this morning, and returned home about 8.30 this evening, and 3 1/2 hours were spent driving. 2 hours this morning as I left my house, turned left and drove 45 minutes to my mothers house. I then headed back towards my house but went on past it and got to my sisters house. In reality my sister lives 15 minutes from my house but i have to turn right...... There were SO many people heading in the direction I was heading and it took over an hour to get to my sisters house. To say that I was dreading the drive home was an understatement.

Doing everything in reverse this evening was much easier, in fact it took me 35 minutes to drive my mother home....so I went back to my sisters house and had a coffee.......then drove home.

I am stuffed, tired and happy.

Merry Christmas to all!

Christmas eve and all is good

2010-12-24T18:18:00.004+11:00

So I had a whine yesterday......that's ok as I feel much better for it!

After having that whinge, I got up and cleaned the back garden. 3 bags of garden waste I found! I swept the pavers and garage out! It was quite good really.

At the end of all of that, I sat down and decided to read for a while - but the phone rang a few times and I found myself having lovely conversations with friends I hadn't spoken to in ages. One of the women I am going to the Mediterranean with in April and we were busy planning the last parts of our journey. The other friend rang me as she was shopping in a hardware shop, to invite me to a holiday place with them in a few weeks time.

It reminded me that I am loved, no matter how dark my mood may get. I was glad to have my moment of feeling sad, but today I am buoyant.

Tomorrow is Christmas day and I am looking forward to sharing the day with my family. It should be fabulous!...

Christmas blues

2010-12-23T13:17:00.002+11:00

Two days before Christmas and I have to say that this is the hardest time of the year for me. Every year it is the same, although this year I have a heightened sense of despondency.

Christmas day itself is fantastic, as is Boxing day. My family are an amazing bunch of people and I love them dearly. We have fun and chat, laugh and joke for the most part and it is something that I treasure a great deal.

The days leading up to Christmas are just really hard.

It seems to have worsened in the last few years as I realise that I am one of the only single people in my world. My friends are fantastic and keep me involved with their lives. I am always welcome to functions they have, and I am treated like family (because I am) BUT it is not my family.

Having moved in the last 3 weeks I am unsettled to begin with but add to the fact that I am so aware of being single, I find this year REALLY, REALLY hard. I am going out to a few things here and there but I feel that I should be doing more.....but I am so tired.

Bring on the beginning of the new year, things improve for me at that time. Don't know why.....maybe it is because at the end of the year we reflect on what we have and done. I feel I have done a lot but don't have all that I want. (read house and lover....)

enough moping.....time to try and relax and go with the flow.

New beginnings......

2010-12-20T14:56:00.002+11:00

Wednesday night I went to a charity thing with MAD woman. (MAD = Making A Difference) We wrapped presents for kids and families. It was quite good and I had a great time. The woman who set this up also runs singles nights, Cooking for a Cause. I am thinking of one of those nights at the end of Jan.

Why was wrapping the presents good? Networking with other like-minded people. None of us really knew many of the others there but we were all there to have a time of it helping out a charity group make Christmas good for others. There is the whole thing of endorphins rising when you help others. Makes you feel good. the other thing that was interesting for me was the fact that I went out with no real idea of doing more than wrapping presents. I said 'hi' to a guy as I walked past him, and then he came over and talked to me for over an hour. Nothing more than that, but there were other women at the table and he pretty much ignored them. I have never really noticed that I had this 'pulling' power before.....although I wouldn't say that it was really 'pulling' power. It was really lovely to have someone just want to talk to me.

I chatted to Frogdancer about this the next day and her reply was "why wouldn't he?". That made me think..... (I have been doing a lot of that lately) and I was surprised that I didn't realise that I am an interesting person. It's a whole new thing really for me, thinking of myself as a desirable, interesting person.

Nothing has happened with the guy I met at the wrapping thing. We said goodnight to each other and that we hoped to see each other at the cooking for a cause thing.

Friday night I went to a social group function in the city. I spied a guy that i was sure had been at the wrapping thing, so I ventured over and asked him. Sure enough he had been. We sat and talked for a few hours. Again he seemed uninterested in speaking to anyone else. If we were spoken to by someone else he was polite but then resumed our conversation.

In my head I have the words of my sister in my head. "Remember that each person has their tale to tell and it is important to listen to their story."

I have been so consumed in navel gazing that I have forgotten that other people are on their own journey. There are some fascinating tales that I have been told, and once you start to listen you get more of a complete picture of the person.

The weirdest thing that has occurred in the last few days happened Sunday night. I went with some friends to Carols by Candlelight that were run by a local council. It was torrential rain and the event was cancelled - not until we got absolutely drenched through! I might appear online for the council as there was a photographer who was taking pics and we were sitting there on our own in a LOT OF WET WEATHER GEAR that was doing very little. We decided that we needed to do something to warm ourselves so we went to the local cheap pizzeria.

I arrived ahead of my mates and one of the waiters came up to me and spoke to me like he knew me and then gave me a kiss and a hug! Now, I have been to this restaurant a few times and the waiter is always friendly but NEVER touchy-feely. He is quite nice on the eye, but I don't know his name, he doesn't know mine, yet there was a moment there where it got just a little awkward.

So 6 days, and 3 times I have been made to feel like I am an interesting, desirable woman. I like this....just have to work on getting phone numbers etc and moving on just that little bit further.

Hurry Up!

2010-12-19T10:01:00.003+11:00

Slowly, slowly. That's how you settle into a place. Unfortunately it is more like "hurry up and be done already" in my mind.

I lived in the last place for over 6 years - close to 7. It was a lovely place to live and I loved it. My plans had been to move from there into my own place. Somewhere I could look around and say "this is mine". This was not the way the world had it lined up for me. A phone call from the real estate agent and I was needing to find new accommodation.

To say that I hit the panic button is an understatement. I ran full pelt into it. And when I panic, my whole body goes into meltdown. I don't eat and then when I try to eat I can't take in carbohydrates or milk based products. That wipes out most things available. Eating becomes a painful process, which leads to headaches etc. I was in a spiral and things only became worse as the time went on. Thanks to my sister and some ideas she had for getting nutrients into me, I have started eating again.

I moved into this unit because there was something about it I liked. But once I was in I was seeing fault everywhere. The big things I have let the real estate agent know about and the landlords came to visit yesterday to check out the things themselves. I feel a little calmer having met the couple. They are an older couple who are planning on retiring here so they want the property to be in the best condition. As a result they looked at everything quite seriously.

My major concern about the windows (don't quite shut properly and no fly screens) will probably be fixed in the next month, taking into consideration the time off at Christmas and New Year. The downlights will be checked out when the electrician gets here!!! The oven doesn't have a seal - that will be rectified this week I believe.

Actually, the oven was the silliest thing that I experienced....I was frightened to use it. It uses gas and I hadn't used gas in 7 years and so was feeling very scared to light the thing! I lit it yesterday and it didn't blow up! I am still here.

Friends came over yesterday and helped me change the blinds upstairs in my bedroom. Well when I say they helped me.....I purchased new blinds and the male of the couple changed them over for me! There was a bit of too-ing and fro-ing as he took the white matchstick blinds from my bedroom and placed one of them in the kitchen. This replaced the two RED matchstick blinds in the kitchen. My kitchen looked like a brothel in the morning due to the hue from the curtains, it was a little depressing.....

Last night my bedroom was really dark and I slept quite soundly. I woke up a few times during the night - but I think that is more habit than anything else.

He is a cheeky sod. While we were out purchasing the blinds he found a few other things to do. He moved the outside blind that I had put up, up just a little higher so that the sun can't get in the window, he cleaned up the front gate lock so that it acts the way it is meant to. It clicks shut by itself without needing to have the handle lifted. It was lovely to come home and find these things done.

In relation to the boys going past to use the pool, we put screening up so that I can't really see them. The only thing I can see them through is the gate, and that is a fleeting moment. But it has been really quite cool here and the boys haven't been here. Yes, it is illegal what they are doing (when they use the pool) but I am going to keep my head down and ignore them. I know that the others will probably deal with them. I have decided that I am going to develop a sanctuary out in my backyard and spend some time just sitting out there and reading, sleeping or whatever.

I realised last night how tired I am. I knew I was getting a bit tired by the end of the year -but it was only when I stopped and had a drink with my friends yesterday, that I realised I was exhausted! Thank goodness for 6 weeks off!

One thing that this move has made me realise is the fact that I was too comfortable living the way I had been. I would come home and plop. Nothing wrong with that - except that it doesn't help when you want to find a soul mate to spend your life with.

Next year, well actually from now, I am working on me. Finding me, preening me and then sending me out to socialise and find that soul mate. The journey will be interesting and will be the source of my blogging.

I am also going on the journey of finding my OWN home. Somewhere that I can say "this is mine". This will also be the source of a blog or two.

It's a big year really house, love and my travel to the Mediterranean.

I am looking forward to it!

likely lads

2010-12-10T08:14:00.004+11:00

There are some lovely people who live in this group of units. In fact they all wave and say hello. It makes you feel like you are part of a community.

Then there is this issue that I noticed the Sunday before I moved in, and it has raised it's ugly head a few times.

There is a pool on the premises. I was looking forward to going for the occasional dip. Yesterday, Monday and also Sunday there were a group of young men in the pool. From what I can see and hear, they don't belong to the group of units. They come in and just use the pool! I am a little thrown by this. The pool is just down and across from my unit and the boys walk past my place to get to it.

Yesterday one of the other occupants had a chat to the boys. He is a lovely older man named Will. He chatted to them and they answered back. They were telling all sorts of tales about who allowed them to use the pool. Most of it bullshit. Eventually he walked away to get his mail. He and I had a chat on his walk back. He has lived here for 12 years and this is the first year that this issue has arisen. He is frustrated as the police don't seem to be taking much interest in the situation. He believes that the police will only take notice if something happens......but what happened to trespass? I asked him about the issue from the body corporates point of view. He doesn't think there is much that can be done from that point of view either, thinking that it is a civil issue.

I need to put some shade cloth or something on my front fence so I can go out there and do some gardening without feeling as though I am exposed. I was out in the front yard yesterday when the boys came down the drive and felt rather exposed. My other concern about this is the fact that I am concerned that some of the boys might be students from the school I work at, in which case I really want to keep my head down. I haven't had a good look at them and I really don't want to, but I don't want to feel trapped in my home, nor do I want to have to run away from the likely lads.......

Just something else to add to the unsettled feeling that I have at the moment. grr!

I just need to keep reminding myself that this is only for one summer season.

In an update... I met a few more neighbours today and they were all discussing the boys. They are trying to nip it in the bud before it becomes an issue. I met my lovely looking neighbour who is on board (he said he is) to keeping an eye on the lads. I have also discovered how to get to the beach. there is a gateway at the bottom of the drive!

when is a house a home?

2010-12-09T12:22:00.003+11:00

Now I have moved house. I am realising how comfortable I was in my last place. Everything had it's place, and I felt like I was home. Now things are in disarray and I don't feel quite at home. Normal I know but disarming anyway.

The unit itself is lovely, there is a warmth to the place. It feels like a home and once I have a lot of stuff unpacked, I probably will feel home there.

I need to buy a few carpets/rugs for the floors upstairs. They have floorboards and there is probably no insulation in the place. The windows are a little old and I think that when a cold wind blows the little gaps that are in them will make it a little chilly. But then again, I didn't have insulation at my last place either. I got a room or two warm and that was it.

I am only a few minutes walk to the beach, but at this stage I haven't got that far. Need to get there this evening I think. I need to start investigating my neighborhood a little more. I need to get out into the garden and start playing with the plant world.

This house is only temporary until I purchase in next year. My plan is off track a little but it will get itself right very soon.

I am trying to be gentle with myself - but sometimes I forget. I have just started trying to sort out my diet. it's all over the place. I am not eating properly and not really interested in food. I have, with the assistance of my sister, got onto finding ways to make sure my nutrition is ok day to day, especially breakfast.

I have come to the conclusion that I really don't want to have to do this again for a while.....at least once I have moved to MY place I don't want to do it again for a while!

My issue is that I want it solved NOW! That means everything that is concerning me.....

moving on.....

2010-12-04T11:06:00.002+11:00

I have stopped packing for a few moments to try and blog what I'm feeling at the moment.

Monday I move house. I love the unit I am in. It's really lovely. About a month ago the real estate agent rang me to tell me that my landlord needed a place to move his father into. He is very sorry.

Now I am surrounded by mess.

Now I am feeling ill at ease.

I am moving to a place that is just a little smaller than here - but I have been incredibly blessed with this unit! It is huge when it comes to 2 bed units.

It is a lovely place that I am moving into. It's just that I have been here for 7 years and I am comfortable. As I have been packing, I realise that maybe I have been just a little too comfortable. I never saw myself as a hoarder, but that is what I have discovered. It makes the job of packing really ugly. There is so much emotional crap that you have to sort out.

The unit I am moving to is only 3-4 minutes walk from the beach. It has 2 beds and a main bathroom upstairs, all on polished floorboards - one of which needs a bit of work done (I'm onto it!) Downstairs is the lounge and kitchen. There is also a laundry and another bathroom of sorts....well it's a shower and toilet (really neat) off the laundry. It's quite roomy really, and the fact that I have two courtyard areas is fantastic. And there is another shower outside - to wash the sand off as I come back from the beach! The back courtyard is big enough for a table and chairs and a bbq. There is a water feature there. I can put in a few pot plants and it will look lovely. I freaked myself out yesterday when I did the property inspection. Walking through the property I was noticing the chipped paint (I have that here) and the quiet in the place. The place was empty. It felt sad. I felt forlorn. Once I get in and put my stuff in there it will feel quite different. I chose this place because I liked the overall feel as I walked through. There is an airiness.

I had planned to buy when I left here. Why didn't I right now? Well 3 reasons in total.

1) I am going overseas for 6 weeks in April/May and didn't really want to start on mortgage repayments while overseas. I will be looking before I go, but will amp up my searching once I get back.

2) The lead up to Christmas means that auctions and other sale types are generally not on from today onwards.....which leads me to

3) I have only done a small amount of research house hunting and felt way out of my depth in the time frame that I had.

Considering all of this, I made the decision to rent for another 12 months while I am looking.

This is then one of the reasons that I am feeling uncomfortable as I move....knowing that I am going to do it again within the year! I shouldn't be too freaked out by that....I moved 14 times in 10 years when I first started working. I coped then but at the moment I feel blech!

I have got used to my neighbours here. I understand their movements around the place. I am feeling unsettled about having to adjust to new noises and habits.

I realise that what I am feeling is quite normal. I am just sick of feeling like this. It is an anxiousness that I can't be bothered keeping.

I know that I am going to love my new place. I just have to get on with the packing.......

the Wedding Singer

2010-09-27T22:39:00.004+10:00

This Saturday I am singing at a friends' wedding. I am looking forward to but am also a little nervous.

It's quite bizarre to be singing at this wedding - she had not heard me sing before asking me. I take that to be an act of faith, which is quite typical of this friend. I have now sung for her, and I believe that she was quite happy with what she heard.

The music that I am singing is not quite what I have sung for a wedding before, but it should be fine. It is funny that a couple of the songs had no 'real' music and I was forced to grab the chords and lyrics of the internet, then listen to recordings and make the necessary adjustments. It has been an intense couple of days getting the music to a state where I can share it with the other muso's that I are accompanying me in our rehearsal tomorrow.

The only thing that has marred (although it wasn't really a major issue) is having to get a new guitarist in last Saturday afternoon. I originally had a guitarist - a colleague from work, but he asked to be replaced when it was obvious that the football grand final was to be replayed the following week due to a draw.....Now I have an ex-student accompanying me, which is quite surreal.

bogan neighbour update.....

2010-09-04T11:12:00.003+10:00

Last night the bogan neighbours out the back have chopped down the tree that was up against the fence. It was a beautiful and tall pine.

It was obvious it was in the way of extending their outside entertaining.

I investigated the proceedings this morning as I was moving garden rubbish around....

There is a metal pole - or trident - that is right up against the corner of the fence. I believe that they are setting up some sort of entertainment area......

I have considered asking them if they will insulate the area somewhat. Two things go against this. One - I am a chicken. Two - they won't care and will make more noise if they know that it will annoy me! there is also the possibility that they might listen to what I have to say and follow through with my suggestions.....ha!

Looking at putting in foliage on my side of the fence. One friend has suggested two plant types that she thinks grow 1/2 foot in a year.......I was told that about other plants and they are still too short.

Another friend has suggested the 'ball-on-a-stick' type plants in pots. I am thinking this will be a great idea. It means that I will be able to take them with me when I go. the idea is that the trees are already at the right height, and if I pick rather dense shrubbery then I have a better chance of cutting the noise down. It also occurred to me that I might need some bushes against the fence line as well. I think a visit to the nursery is in order.

Oh the joys of the bogan neighbour!

cough. cough. cough.

2010-08-21T06:42:00.003+10:00

I still have this cough....might have it for weeks. It frustrates me like nothing else.

Yesterday I got a little upset over an incident that had got stupidly out of control. I was not that upset but with this cough, I become an slightly uncontrollable mess.

I haven't been out at night in 3 weeks.....the cold air gets to me and I cough uncontrollably. I have got a little sick of my own company.

Coughing makes me really tired. Midday, I'm ready for a sleep. That frustrates me as I'm getting about 8 hours sleep a night.....that's when I stay asleep. I'm ready for bed about 8.30, often I wake up on the couch at about 9.30 and take myself off bed.

I'm onto my third bottle of cough syrup. I've kept going the same chemist and discussed the long term ramifications....but I'm over it to say the least.

Head above water

2010-08-19T20:46:00.003+10:00

It's funny how there are so many manic personalities that have to be dealt with in the performing arts.

One colleague selected the band for the final number of our major concert next week......he chose who he thought were good people.....none in the final year at the college. The final year kids have made a few complaints - to the prinicipal and the senior school coordinator. No one is backing down....precious personalities on both sides!!!!

I am in the middle trying to keep my head above water.

Another colleague has taken over the junior strings.....she has invigorated the group. They want to do anything for her! I am suitably jealous of the ideas that she has. A few others (who are over the tender age of 60) have poo-pooed her ideas. They think that she is making some silly decisions. They are cute - but they are going to be fabulous. She came to me after the formal part of the day with a problem with the reactions she was getting.....I have backed her completely. It will be hard work to convince the others to shut up!

I am in the middle trying to keep my head above water.

There are minor things that I am being told about - which have some bigger impact later on. The ad that I had designed, did not print well. The ladies changed it but didn't inform me until after they had printed 500 copies!

I am in the middle trying to keep my head above water.

I ran a brilliant massed (massacred) singing rehearsal last week. The kids were awesome. The staff really helpful. Today a whole new story. We had had general assembly so all the kids were silly from the strange timetable. The rehearsal was after lunch. Walked into the hall and the smell of the varnish being painted on the new wall surfaces. All of this was out of my control. The teachers......well...... Many of them were doing the right thing BUT there were a few who stood at the back and did sweet F A! IN fact two of them decided to go and have a sit down.....AT.THE.OTHER.END.OF.THE.HALL! It was devastating to me after last week! (think - one person trying to get 700+ kids singing without all staff supporting me).

I am in the middle trying to keep my head above water.

I am still sick. I have many things that are needing to be done before the concert next week. I have some very precious staff members! I know that it will be fine.

I am in the middle trying to keep my head above water.

Sleepless in suburbia

2010-08-18T02:08:00.002+10:00

Seriously....I hate waking up in the middle of the night. There are three reasons that I wake up:
1) toilet stop....and I generally get back to sleep straight away.
2) illness....then getting back to sleep is dependant on type
3) whirring mind....then sleep is fitful.

Tonight is a mixture of all 3....probably too much information...illness is the ongoing cough.

Whirring mind is nearly everything that has to be done by next week. Concert preparation, budget stuff and general correction. While I love my job, I really hate it when it takes over my nights....

At the moment I'm listening to a crazy quiz on the radio(to try and calm the whirring mind)....the dj asks 5 types of questions...who, what, when, how,where.....tonight the focus is animation of any sort. The questions are quite hard. You really need to know obscure information....

BACK to the whirring.....One of the things that is flying through my mind at 2am is the concept of drive and ambition. I find that it is not a major factor in my world but I question if it should be. I am career focused enough to strive to do the best that I can as a teacher and as a leader. Being a leader is not something I demand in my world, it's something I do if no one else really steps up to the plate. I cannot stand working for people who are inept!

It's funny watching someone who is career focused and obviously ambitious in your workplace. Someone a decade younger than me has been promoted to a very high position within a school. Absolutely fantastic teacher, highly dedicated and a nice person to boot. I believe that this teacher will be fabulous.....but it still is something that has me thinking. My major thinking is, am I ambitious? If not, why not?

A friend of mine and I have discussed the concept of promotions within the school workplace. We have both come to the conclusion that we are now in the wrong age group...most promotions are coming from those under 36. She works in a different school and has mentioned that most promotions in her workplace are to those under 36. Neither of us are really concerned from our own position but watch those who are older who seem to be bypassed....workplace politics always fascinates me.

I think it's time to stop thinking and time to focus on some sleep action.

Wordless Wednesday and thoughtful Thursday

2010-08-12T08:47:00.002+10:00

After my excitingly quiet weekend, I realised that I hadn't had enough of the silent treatment. Work on Monday learning to use the Ultranet (Victorian Education department's version of Social Media which didn't quite work as they thought/hoped it would) where I whispered my way through the day. My throat was a little sore and yet I hadn't spoken that much.......

Tuesday I was in for the day - I had two rehearsals that I needed to run. It's funny how you can do something in a totally different fashion to what you thought you would have to and it works.....

Both of these rehearsals were silent. I had a few flash cards for my Year 8 band and in the beginning they were a little silly but they soon realised that I wasn't going to raise anything more than a whisper.....Choir was more interesting but my senior kids realised that I needed a helping hand and shushed kids up left, right and centre.

It's days like Tuesday that make me really appreciate where I work. The kids are amazing.

On the way home I stopped in at the doctor to pick up a medical certificate for the afternoon and managed to sneak in to see him. He checked my throat and announced that I had a good croup-like cough developing. Two more days were written onto the certificate. We then discussed possible medication. I am on day 2 of steroids (of 4) and was given a weeks worth of antibiotics. The reason for the medication is to kill off the secondary symptoms to give my body a chance to rid itself of the tract infection.

The doctor and I are quite clear on my deadline of August 26th and the fact that I need to be at school for specific rehearsals. He then decided to let me know of another teacher he is treating who is up to 10 days off work with the same thing! Hmmm! I will see how tomorrow pans out when I am at work running the massacred singing.....

So yesterday I went nuts on the email......and achieved a fair few things. Today I will sort out some correction.....plan the program and might even get some other planning done.

The crotchet hook and I have had a great work out, and we have just about finished 60 squares to add to the many that I have already......

Don't speak and you can achieve so much....no wonder I shush my students so much. I know the truth!

silent Sunday

2010-08-08T13:52:00.002+10:00

Sunday - day two of not talking. I have progressed through a number of emotions. Boredom is the prevailing one...although I do like the idea of not actually have to vocalise all my thoughts.

Yesterday I had a bizarre moment when my mother rang on my mobile. She inadvertently rang me instead of messaging. She was more shocked than I and immediately told me, in a slightly flustered tone, that I must not speak and to only answer "hmmm" to questions posed. She did point out that I should change my pitch according to agreement or disagreement.

When I finally did say something, it was to ask her how she was......."I think I am alright" was her reply.

You know it's hard to hide the fact that you're laughing when each and every laugh is punctuated by uncontrollable coughing.

my voice is gone!

2010-08-06T18:43:00.003+10:00

I'm sitting here realising that I haven't written in so long that I really don't know what to say or where to start (if indeed I had something to say).

Went off to the Dr today as my throat was nastily sore on Tuesday night. Wednesday it ached. Wednesday night I got a cough suppressant for a very dry cough. Thursday I battled through and decided that I needed to get to the Dr to see if it was anything more serious that a cold.

My major concern about having a cold - or something worse, is the fact that in 3 weeks we have the big concert of the year. Each year about this time, I get something. I have got through May, June and July without major issues. August hits and I am hit with a lurgy.

Dr gave me the 'good' news. It's a viral lower respiratory tract infection. Right over the area where the division is to the lungs.......Have to keep really warm. Lots of warm fluid. Most importantly NO SPEAKING!

I laughed (then coughed uncontrollably) at the last statement. I am home all weekend not speaking. It's only Friday and I am going nuts already! Well maybe I am exaggerating - but I am going to have to go to the video store for some entertainment!

Another reason I was laughing is the fact that we have a concert in 3 weeks......I have rehearsal upon rehearsal! Year 8 concert band.....80 kids (Frogdancer....you might need to be more vocal in my place....sorry!) Choir......70+kids!

At the end of the week......Massed Singing rehearsals start! That's a few 100 kids. I explained this to the dr. He thinks I should be fine by the end of the week as long as I use a mic!

Think this weekend I might get a workout on the blog.

frustration but silver-lining somewhere

2010-07-08T11:25:00.003+10:00

Do you know what I hate?

People who don't take responsibility for themselves.......

Yes, we all have issues that we need to sort out for ourselves. But what I hate is people who tell you about their issues BUT then do NOTHING to sort out themselves.

I really needed to get that off my chest.

In other things - I have sorted out a number of projects that I have been avoiding for YEARS!

I emptied the sewing box of all projects that have sat there for years......(talking 2 sheets sets, 5 pairs of pants and 5 skirts!)
I have rearranged the study so that I can actually use in more ways.
I have brought the wool box into the loungeroom to sort it out (jumpers, socks etc)
I have looked my tax but think that I might put that off for a few more days.....
Got a new pillow and have had some amazing nights sleep since.
Had more dry-needling which is not the most comfortable thing to have done.

I am nearing the end of my holidays and wondering if the new teaching spaces will be ready for my staff and I to utilise with the kids next Monday. From what I understand - just! These rooms haunt me already. I was not involved in the design process. The guy who was left.....and left a mess.

No complaining any more but time to take the attitude of what can I do to change the situation...

Off to lunch with my neighbour and work colleague.

Neighbours

2010-05-07T05:55:00.002+10:00

Can I just say that I am lighter than two weeks ago...by 2 in fact....yay me!

Funny experience this week. Whilst out for dinner on Tuesday with some work friends, one mentioned that another friend of mine had recently purchased property in my suburb.....not knowing that I lived there.

Yesterday I was talking to this bloke and asked him where abouts he lived in the suburb...."It's a strange one....." then named the street.....MY STREET! So I asked what number as I lived on the street.

"Really? I've been there 2 weeks....it's so quiet. 61"

OMG! says I. You are my NEXT DOOR neighbour. Everyone else starts to laugh....then ask if he has moved into the place where the noisy bastards live....No He is not....they're still there and they're very quiet at the moment. He says that he has been building/renovating since he moved in. I said I had heard hammering really late at night.....that's me is the reply.....

Freakily small world.

the journey begins

2010-04-25T11:32:00.002+10:00

I have just come back from a walk along the beach where I saw a few entertaining sights. My favourite was a tiny little dog proudly prancing along the shoreline with a stick in it's mouth that was probably 4 times its body length.......

Today is Sunday (ANZAC day in Australia and New Zealand) and is the middle of a long weekend. I have walked for about 2 hours this weekend, in amongst just getting myself organised food wise and basically resting.

I decided about 5 weeks ago to get onto getting myself fit and healthy. I have been to the gym at least once a week during that time, attended a weekly pilates class and walked a few times a week. So far, so good.

Issues arise when I look at food. I know that I need to make wise food choices - but seem to make LARGE food choices......Portion size is my issue at the moment.

Then, like most people in the world, I eat when tired, stressed or emotionally down.

I recognise this, but have done nothing to alleviate this. This morning I made a decision and got onto an online program where I can monitor my eating etc. I know that I can't do this on my own. I think I can - but have proved over the last 5 weeks that I really need to get some 'support'. Weekly meetings are something I don't want. I have also tried the replacement program.......and suffered greatly.

Over the past few weeks I sat on the couch, great piles of food in front of me, watching 'Biggest Loser'. I was inspired but was not ready to do something......

I woke this morning and it felt like something had snapped into position. Measurements taken - and I realised that I am a long way from my optimum BMI.......

I have now tracked and I have walked......I am now out for a light lunch with friends. Watch this space!

so sport is good?

2010-04-22T21:43:00.003+10:00

Now this is very, very local...... well to Melbourne. I live in a city where sport is the ruler! I am not really a sport fiend....I tolerate it and understand most rules to most sports. I am a V8 nut (car racing for those who dont know....not the f1 though - yuck!)

So today I had a great chuckle at this.....

NRL story

Now if you read that, you might just agree that if you are going cheat - well this is a big way!

sport and religion

2010-04-19T19:38:00.003+10:00

Check out what you can buy online!

Sports Statues

My favourite is the martial arts statue........let me know what you think.....

Wear your seat belt......

2010-04-11T17:44:00.004+10:00

I had to share this with you.......I almost cried when I viewed it.

Why can't we have ads like this in Australia? Why do we need the idiot ones?

updated

2010-04-05T21:53:00.003+10:00

I started this blog over two years ago and it was really a way of me processing what was going on in my world. Sometimes it was good, sometimes it was not good at all......but it was all about me.

Now I have come to a decision that there will be stuff about me but less of what I am doing day to day (although you may have already guessed this as I am blogging less and less) and more about my thinking on topics that either interest or frustrate me.

I have a few topics that I am sorting out.....

friday night and I am stuffed

2010-03-26T20:05:00.002+11:00

Today marks the beginning of my holidays. After the term, the last week in particular, I really need them!

Music Festival was last week - awesome! I believe that it was the best one for the last few years. The kids are amazing!

(Frogdancer, I am trying to use less exclamation marks....I promise.)

Personal health - good, although I need to refocus my energy. Tomorrow morning I am back to the gym and getting as active as possible.

The last day has been very trying. One of my colleagues was having a bit of an issue with dates that another had set. Instead of having a rational conversation about the dates, the conversation was very emotive and high energy. This was two weeks ago. I was consulted by both of the people at two different times - two weeks apart. I advised the one who set the dates (2 weeks ago) and then reminded the second that it was not my conversation and that this needed to take place between them- not me (yesterday).

I did not give the answer that the second wanted to hear.....she spoke to my co-leader who set out an inflammatory email without checking all the facts. I had to deal with the ramifications today! The second was in and started in again on her argument......I finally got a little cross. I advised her that I thought that her behaviour was bordering on unprofessional. I had not yet spoken to my co-colleague yet! I was unimpressed with him and I felt that we needed to clear the air.

She left, he came in. I spoke to him and explained the whole story from go to whoa. I pointed out that I was unimpressed with his involvement as I felt that we were being played as the 'required' answer was not given first time. I also felt that he should have consulted me, at the very least, or maybe the person who set the dates in the first place. I felt that he had treated people without the professional respect that they were due. (Oh she rang him on his mobile while we were talking......)

I pointed out that it was not the decision I was concerned about, but rather the process that had been subverted. I had, or so I believed, the situation under control yesterday but his email had pointed out that I did not.

I finally stated that I was concerned about the behaviour of the second woman. She has reacted in a number of interesting ways this week, each one has left her a great deal more hysterical than before. Her behaviour of the last few days made me even more concerned and that I think she needs some professional help - or even a holiday, long term holiday.....not a few weeks.

I then had to 'tidy' up the whole situation with the first woman.

My co colleague took on board all I said. He acknowleged that if he had had all the information, he might have reacted differently and that his email was probably not worded well. He apologised to me and the woman who had given out all the dates in the first place. (via email and in person)

On a REALLY good note - we had a great lunch, the classroom teachers and I. We talked through the positives and not so positives of the term. Fantastic! We are becoming a tight little working unit!

Now to my well earned break.......
- massage
- garden show
- lunch with friends
- Sydney for a holiday for a week!
- Easter with family
- an arranging course
- lots of reading
- lots of being still

I'll let you know how it's all going.

Getting active......again!

2010-03-14T10:59:00.002+11:00

Last week (Friday 5th March to be exact) I had a moment where I realised that I HAD to do something with my health! I don't know exactly what made me think this but I decided that I had to do something with my overall health.

The last few weeks have been ridiculous in terms time management. I just felt that I had nothing working the way I had hoped. I was so tired and lethargic and really didn't want to get out and greet people. This is not a good place to be.

Then I had this very interesting time when three friends told me outright that they were concerned about me. None of these friends work with me. They were just concerned with the frenetic energy I was dealing with everything. One friend told me that I seemed to have forgotten how to breath.

Another friend reminded me that no matter how much I put into the work place it will not replace the life I have afterwards. The question she put to me was to think about what I would be like when I am 70 and all I really have to show is a lifetime of successful concerts........at first I was peeved with this but then I reflected and knew that she was right.

Where is that balance that I had demanded of myself two years ago?

Two years ago I was searching for that balance but forgot that I had started on that journey. The weight that I had worked so hard to remove had crept back on. I had/have little or no energy for doing things away from the workplace and basically I was becoming an awesome couch potato.

So - I had a wake up moment. I was leaving work and thought that I should do something......what? I remembered that at the beginning of last year I had joined the local gym run by the council and that maybe I should get back to that. I rang and made an appointment with a personal trainer for the very next morning.

It was fantastic! The trainer I met was the woman who had started to help me at the beginning of last year. She remembered who I was and was genuinely concerned about what had happened in the past 14 months.

With her help I have developed a program. It isn't much to look at at the moment, but you do have to start somewhere. I have been to the gym 3 times this week and I have also been for a swim at the same venue. I started with just cardio work - and boy am I unfit! When I went swimming I discovered that I can only turn my head one way and developed a crick in my neck! I have enquired about stroke correction classes.......

Yesterday I found out how to use the equipment - and thoroughly enjoyed the process. My weights are puny.......but considering the fact that I have been dealing with rehabilitation from my back issue from June last year, I am quite impressed! The trainer setting up my program only allowed me to do certain gym work AFTER she had spoken to both my osteopath and physiotherapist. So thorough!

This morning I went for an hour walk along the beach. I feel quite energised!

The program that the trainer got me on is basically to get me moving every day! Make time to get out and get active. I have noticed that I am feeling a lot better as a result. I have to work on the diet part - which I seem to have been working on a little, but this is the week to get that sorted. Food diary at the ready.

For those wondering about local council gyms, get out and join one. They provide everything that a brand name gym provides but at a fraction of the cost. I have a personal trainer - or a program manager, full gym facilities and then there is the swimming pool that I have complete access to. I paid under $700 for all of that for 12 months and then got a month free. I can also go to any of the group classes that I want!

I feel really happy that I have done this!

Blues brothers!

2010-03-07T13:24:00.003+11:00

I am sitting watching Blues Brother 2000 - having just come home from a massage.

It has a very flimsy story - if indeed it can be called that. But on reflection the original Blues Brother was much the same.

The music is, as per the original, fantastic. At the moment we are at the battle of the Bands and the first band to play is one led by Eric Clapton and a cast of thousand blues artists. Wow!

The only other thing that I have to report is the car chases and crashes are no where near as good as the original.......

Maybe I will just listen and not watch.....

letting it out.

2010-03-06T09:30:00.002+11:00

I had a great nights sleep last night. I think it might have a great deal to do with the fact that I don't have to go to work for 3 days. Imagine that, Monday is a public holiday. I am so looking forward to it.

The rest of the week proved to be just plain annoying in terms of security in my area of the workplace. (and then there were other things that were just plain annoying)

Wednesday morning - break in and burglary....where they took the office computer and the external hard drive. This was annoying in a number of ways.

Thursday morning - am informed that the front door to our centre was unlocked. We state that we had locked the place up the night before, and that the cleaner was, as far as we know, the last person to lock the place. This is a mystery.....and it's proving to be a thorn.

Friday morning - find out that the side door was open and swinging wide open all night which caused the alarms to go off. I was certain that we had locked it after the chairs were taken out/put back for General Assembly the day before. Apparently no. They probably weren't bolted properly and this has caused a huge issue.

Last night, as I was about to leave, I checked EVERY window in that place and EVERY door. We have 12 windows and 3 external doors. There are also 2 doors that are behind another set of unused glass doors. The glass doors lead to the corridor that no longer exists due to building works. The two external doors are from the old corridor - where the kids used to come into school. The other day we noticed that the unused doors were unbolted. Last night I checked them as well.

I then made sure all internal doors were locked. 11 of them. All up this takes a good 5 minutes. I just hope that NOTHING was opened last night. I really don't want to hear because this time, I checked the lot. If I hear that means it is not an oversight on our account but that someone has decided we are a soft target and they are aiming at us right now.

I will be pleased when the new doors, locks, bars on windows and other new security measures are put into place in the centre....It will mean that we don't have to keep locking away the computer each night in another, more secure part of the building. That more secure part being an area that can't be seen from the outside....

Another frustrating thing that came up this week - and has done so for the past couple of weeks, is the fact that my senior class have been taught so many wrong things last year! They were taught by someone who has since left. The information is factually quite wrong. I am trying very hard not to undermine this particular person but it proves difficult when the kids in front of you state that the other teacher told them .......

One mis-information you can overlook, but I am up to 4! And all of this is not difficult stuff. At first I just thought that they were being impish and trying to get a reaction. I asked one of them to explain the basis for the theory....she could AND seemed to believe it. It was heartbreaking to see/hear that what they knew was wrong and they would have to relearn information.

Then losing rehearsal time to other activities. I understand that things go on - but there is an expectation that our ensembles will perform at functions. It is incredibly hard for this to happen when other things either move you from the venue and you are uninformed (as happened for my choir rehearsal on Wednesday), or kids are expected to be elsewhere - Monday night rehearsals for the past 2 weeks with SACS and excursions.

On a positive note - my classes (except the misinformed senior class) are going really well. There are just a few behavioural things that go on still - but they are sorting themselves out fairly quickly as the kids want to play. I like all my kids that I teach. I am incredibly lucky to have such a great group of kids. They make the job worthwhile.

I feel better now......so much better

2010-03-04T17:01:00.002+11:00

So today was a much better day.

I would estimate that we have got 90% of the kids in - maybe that would be closer to 96%. Entered in their instrument, teacher, group, ensemble and then who has paid so far. Tomorrow is the day that we enter other ensembles that kids may belong to and input all the kids that the bursar has that should be paying their ensemble fee.

Also I feel much more relaxed as the year 11 and 12s left early for their formal preparation - and I didn't have a rehearsal to run. I did have a meeting at lunchtime though which I was much more relaxed at as they fed me and I got to sit down.

Now the only thing I have to overcome is the waking up in the middle of the night stressing over things. I am putting a notebook beside my bed (with a pen/pencil) so that when I wake up I can write down what is stressing me and then, hopefully, get back to sleep.

Wednesday the woeful!

2010-03-03T18:23:00.002+11:00

Pretty stressed out at the mo!

Two weeks to go until the big house music festival and worried that the kids aren't quite ready.....they will be I am sure!

Correction pretty much all up to date so that is awesome!

On the way to work realised that the venue that I use for my lunchtime choir rehearsal was being used by a big shindig that the school was organised and I had not been given a new space......

Thinking through my way of tackling this issue - principal sees me and informs me that we have been burgled AGAIN! Music office seems to be an easy target. Again the computer has been taken! but this time they took the external hard drive and this had the music departments data base!!!! We teach over 600 kids in that space. Each of those kids have their own teacher (16 teachers come in!), belong to one of the 20+ ensembles and may hire an instrument which they may have paid for.........

On top of this the rolls are marked on this every day which can be accessed by the general office for the whole school roll marking......we have no data base therefore we can't mark any electronic rolls!

Then the entire music library is catalogued! Over 4000 items.

We have lost everything!

We can put most of it back together but it will take time. My co-leader spent the entire day entering information onto another version of the program. He looked and looked over the computer in his studio and found a backed up version of the library which is about 6 months old........phew!

He is exhausted at the moment having had to do that. Tomorrow afternoon I will be picking up where he left off!

Now we have to fortify our working space. I think this will mean bars on windows, new doors everywhere and we will have to have new locks everywhere!

We had a new computer put in - but the other co leader and I took this away and stored it somewhere that it can't be seen from the outside! I then put microphones and recording equipment elsewhere and then put that key into another space! This is ridiculous!

Some time early last year we were burgled. Same idea - office computer taken. A week later, after putting in a laptop, we had another burglary. This time the laptop taken. Neither time was the external hard drive removed...........

Then we were told that we were making too much noise for the shindig........a bit hard when you are African drumming.......so we moved to another space....then we were too noisy for the other classes - instrumental teachers couldn't concentrate.......so we moved again! Ok, so that was not all in one hit - one teacher was asked to do quiet drumming.......I got moved away from near the instrumental teachers space.....but it seems much better if I whinge all at once on this issue!

Everything else is as I stated......except there are some things that I won't mention. Always is though!

too much correction......again!

2010-02-27T16:26:00.003+11:00

One thing I have discovered since taking on the position of responsibility of heading my department - you have no time to do correction at work....

This means you have to do it at home. That sucks! But bringing home the trolley with all the books in it means the cat has a new place to hide now! The work is fairly easy to mark but there is just so much of it!

Enough complaining.....I'm off to mark more work....

oh my

2010-02-24T20:53:00.002+11:00

I had the strangest day today.......

No - I had the most cringe worthy day ever!

First class for the day - African drumming with the Year 8s (14 year old kids). We are sitting in circle and every kids can see me.....

I pick up my large drum (djembe) and place it between my knees only to discover that between picking up my drum and putting it between my knees, I had inadvertently popped open EVERY button on my shirt. In fact I was flashing the students my entire torso! lace covered boobs and all.........

I don't know who was more shocked. I spun round on my chair and made myself decent and continued with my teaching.....all the while checking my shirt.

The shirt is cursed......I got home and opened my front door and a bloody huge spider (size of my palm) fell of the door and down the front of my shirt........

Shirt is being retired.

what a week!

2010-01-30T09:16:00.004+11:00

Started back at work last Wednesday - although I did go into work for 2 half days the week before to organise (or try to) my new workspace. Wednesday - Friday we had three days of preparation and PD. The PD was ok - I did hear a lot of stuff that intrigued me and made me question my teaching practice which can only be a good thing- but I found I personally thought that the all day one could have been cut down.

Thursday we heard about Generation Z (basically those 16 and under) and how to teach them. There is not much research about them - but then how can there be when many of them are not really able to make a huge contribution to the studies anyway. What we did get was a run down of the Generations from those pre WWII to those now - a brief snapshot of characteristics, influences etc. This was all quite interesting but I think it could have been cut down by half. The speaker was really fascinating, had some great insights and was passionate about her content but some of it should've been condensed. The audience came along for the ride but there were many waves of talking - some relevant, some not. Again - it could've been cut down.

The information that was most relevant, such as how to actually plan your teaching etc, I felt was almost treated like an after thought. I think this was due to the fact that so much time was spent on deciphering what makes each generation tick.

That's often the problem with getting speakers into a workplace who are not really familiar with the situation (people and context) they are addressing. Yes, they know their research but the issue is how to make the research REALLY relevant to the people they are addressing. It is probably an issue that many speakers face. Most do a good job, some are appalling but a few really get why they've been asked to address this particular crowd and then make it worthwhile for the crowd.

The speaker we had for the second half of Friday was probably much more entertaining. She was talking about how to actually see what you are doing making an effect..."Visible Learning". The basis for this was that her colleague has done a meta study of all the studies that have been done on achievement and then collated them into one study. Our speaker presented the findings in quite an entertaining way and as a result left a number of questions to be answered. She opened a can of worms and then, as she pointed out, ran away for us to clean up the mess. That mess will be an entertaining discussion - if we actually have it......

As a consequence I am thinking about who, what when and where of my teaching......the most important thing I am thinking is 'Why?'.

I would've preferred more time as a faculty though. Always the case I think, but I am working as a new Learning Area (Faculty) Manager and really would like the time to get my team firing. We have already made some huge changes in the way we operate but we had a lot of little issues to clean up from the last few years. It is so frustrating that when someone is in a position of power but then don't actually do what they are meant to do. Most of what I have done in the last few days is facilitate a discussion about policy for headphones, keyboards, room design etc. I have put my foot down every now and then but, at the moment, we are quite amicable. I don't forsee that we will move beyond that drastically.

In amongst all of this I have had HUGE car issues!

Monday night I was driving home from a friends house about 60km (still in metro region!!!!) away. The fuel emission warning light came on and stayed on.

Tuesday night was a public holiday so I couldn't do anything about this light. Wednesday I rang my mechanic and was told to drop the car up on Thursday. This I did and then found out the cause of the light.....The coil pack was misfiring and there was a fault in number 3. In my brand of car this meant having to change all 4 as they are all one unit. We are talking over A$600 to do. I took a deep breath and said ok. I understand the principles of the coil pack - to fire the cylinders that allow the car to move forward.

I picked the car up after work and set off for home. Now I live a good 30 minute drive from work, by choice as it is near the beach. I had travelled no more than 5 minutes down the road when the car stopped and every warning light came on! I was able to glide over to the kerb and get out of the way of traffic - thank goodness. I rang the mechanic, explained the situation and he came and got me. Well, he re started the car and followed me back to the garage.

He had run a few more tests on the car with his computer and it started stating that there were other issues - nothing to do with what he replaced. He had never seen this happen (fix one thing and have something else go wrong which is slightly related!) so he rang his auto electrician and the supplier of the parts. Both reported that they had had this happen once or twice before with my brand of car - but it was unusual.

Options he presented to me - take a chance and drive home and bring it back tomorrow (Friday) or leave it with him so he could start taking out the computer.....at which point I was seeing a lot of money heading his way.........

He then asked what suburb I lived in. I told him. He told me that I was NOT taking the car. No options at all. At this stage I was very, very worried and starting getting that feeling of helplessness that you get when things are out of control.....

The best thing that he then did was state that I had paid over $600 which was now a credit to me. He was starting from scratch. He didn't know what the issue was but was going to find out. This means sending the computer and the old coil pack to the car manufacturer for testing to find out what exactly is wrong. If I have to get a new computer only - then I have already paid for it. If it is both parts that need replacement then he will not charge me labour.

The worst thing is I have no car until Tuesday at the earliest. I have rescheduled all over the place for the things I was doing this weekend - leg wax, hair dye etc.

All I want is my car to be fixed and to have it back.........I might go back to planning and writing work for my classes.........it distracts me from crying over my lack of car.

warm night

2010-01-12T09:07:00.002+11:00

Last night was wickedly hot........I don't normally have issues with the heat at night time. If it is below 25C/77F I can sleep.

Last night I tossed and turned and was mightily uncomfortable. I resorted to pulling out a sarong and soaking that with water. I slept under the wet sarong with a fan washing over me. That was about 11pm that I did that. 2am I had to do it again. 4.30 I thought about it again but decided to just stay where I was an doze as best as I can.

I found after I got up that it only got to about 33C/91.4F overnight. Some record might have been broken for the hottest night since 1902.

At some point today it is meant to hit 40C/104F. then a cool change is coming.....6-7 hours away I think.

Strangely it is cooler now than it was overnight......around where I live it is 25C. I have the house open for the time being. the heat box will cool down!

I was meant to go ou for lunch today - but I am way to cranky to leave here. Not wanting to talk to anyone in particular. Might read a book instead....

I believe that today is Thursday.

2010-01-07T13:01:00.003+11:00

January 7......I haven't done much since the last update.....we had a family Christmas which was very fun.

I went to a funny New Years Eve ball and had a great time.

I have had a great few days sleeping in....often not getting dressed until well after midday. Oh such joy and rapture.

Reading - loved Stieg Larsson's books Millenium trilogy......The girl with the dragon tattoo....etc.

I have caught up with some essential daytime television. I have caught up with friends that I don't see during the term, in the evenings. I have potted around the house. I have avoided finishing cleaning the study - but I will get onto that this afternoon........maybe. I'll let you know.

I've been out every evening pretty much. It's been lovely. I have to think about what I am going to get at the supermarket as I am not home for many meals...mainly the basics at the moment. I have decided that once the school term starts I need to be out a little more often than Friday and Saturday nights.....will be harder as I have a leadership position and will be expected to be at work a little more.......but I will work on the balance. My resolution.

every intention

2009-12-23T11:26:00.002+11:00

I am sitting here attempting to do my Christmas cards......two days before Christmas when we have a 5 hour stop work meeting of postal workers going on.....I do believe in miracles........

Anyhow - sitting here doing my Christmas cards and it occured to me that my address book is woefully out of date.......both the paper and the electronic versions. Some people have no address attached to their name at all. I have been to their house and all but I have no written record of their abode.

So I attacked that first part of the issue - online searching. Found a fair few addresses........which I have put down on my list of 13 Christmas card recipients. (most of the others who I work with or see will get there card/present face to face).

Next issue that arose......I have no record of their child/rens names........omg! This is a significant issue. How do you address the card to someone - you know their partners name but the kids? No idea!

I was walking with a friend along the beach and stated that I hadn't done my cards......she called me slack.........

No - I am not slack about the cards - just the vital bits of information that help get the cards filled and sent to the right place.

New Years resolution.....only one I will make.........ring said people in address book and fill in the details as I talk to them. I won't make it obvious. I will be quite subtle.....(like a sledgehammer in some cases).

January looks like a time of phonecalls to lots of people that I haven't talked to in a few months - nay, a year or two.......(holding her head in shame).

As for the cards - I'm over them! The intention was there but it wont happen this year......

things that amuse

2009-12-22T10:21:00.005+11:00

I am at my desk in the office space in my home. I am cleaning the office space.........FINALLY, I got off the couch.

Actually I got off the couch yesterday. I went shopping and discovered a few things in the world that amused.

First (although it was the last thing I did on my shopping trip) I discovered a great new plant nursery. It is really, really cheap and to top things off - I got 4 free tomato plants for the the $50 that I spent. I gave two to my neighbours as they are lovely people and will be keeping an eye on my place when I do a little sight seeing around Victoria.

I wandered through a local shopping centre - a small one near me. Coming my way was a very, very scary man. Not due to anything but the choice of colour he wore.

Imagine a man that looks like this
walking towards you. (For those who are unaware - this Australia's own Angry Anderson).

Now imagine this man dressed in lurid lime-green and white shorty shorts AND a lurid lime-green singlet top.

Now, he starts to talk to another man who I can only assume is his father. The tone? A very aggressive Baltic language sound emanating from his lips. His father (I think.....) was looking rather taken aback with what was being said. The father was not dressed in lime green. He was in a pair of blue long shorts and a reddish collared shirt. Much more subdued.

Finally I went into a shop and as I was waiting to be served, a woman and her son provided some tension filled relief. The kid was an absolute brat. Everyone around were looking at the mother with pity. You could see the thought cross her mind that a small slap would be beneficial.......it might have been at the same time as everyone else thought it. But then we all thought about that book "The Slap" and didn't want our ordinary lives portrayed in another book with amazingly violent language and a story which really doesn't go anywhere.........

I am a sloth and proud.

2009-12-21T11:14:00.004+11:00

I am so proud.

I spent an entire weekend on the couch - bar the party out on Saturday night.

I am about to attack a few things that need to be sorted - the study in particular.

Trouble is - virtual world, especially reading other blogs and farming, have taken a hold of my life. Woes me.

At some point I will take myself away from this screen. Nothing else to report......

whilst watching dr who I realised that

2009-12-19T15:55:00.002+11:00

There are days when you know that you work with a dickhead or two. I apologise immediately for my language but my immediate boss left work on Thursday and he proved that was the most stupid man in the world.

During his farewell speech he didn't really say anything about the people he had worked with over the past 3 years. In fact the main thing he did say in his speech was "I started a business, I sold it, I started another business." He sat down then jumped up and said an unbelievable thankyou to the office staff and the cleaners....that was it.

He got progressively drunk throughout the afternoon and decided that it was important to discuss sexuality with me. I wont repeat what was said as he is a twat!

Most people are pleased he has gone - I think I am at the front of the queue. Maybe not the head of the queue but very close.........

In other news - I am a fabulous teacher. A few of my students have been selected to perform at the Top Acts show next year! Woo Hoo. It means that I have taught some kids that have been thought to be the best in the state.........Yay me!

I am now on holidays and I have done VERY, VERY little. I am still sitting on the couch - it is 4 in the afternoon! I did go shopping and go to my pilates class but that is it. I am planning on doing a few things today - make my bed, put clothes away but that is it!

My bogan neighbours had a party last night.......I think it was for the daughter's birthday. I know it was a birthday but who's I am not sure. They had the music pumping and the swearing a plenty but then stopped right on midnight. Strnager behaviour - but one that I appreciate. Maybe they have had so many complaints in the last few years that they have realised they need to shush occasionally.

You know you're a grown up (OR OLD) when......

2009-12-12T23:28:00.005+11:00

* go to a party. It's going fine - then one of the drunk, young men decide to light a fire and then help the fire with petrol which makes the fire explode into life with a huge amount of force and you feel yourself get blown away with the force. Then you hear yourself utter incredibly loudly "What. The. F***. Are. You. Doing?" Which then leads to sheepish behaviour - and muttering about you to their mates.

* like to wake up in your own bed rather than doss down on the floor after a few too many drinks SO stop drinking so you can leave and drive home before you drink too much.

* think it would be better to leave a party rather than drink daiquaris with a bunch of people you don't really know.

the tale of two dealerships

2009-12-11T17:54:00.002+11:00

Yesterday I discovered that Transponder chips are mighty small but mighty powerful.

Today I discovered that the dealerships of my breed of car don't agree on how to fix the transponder chip issue.

I rang the closest dealership to my house and was transferred to the service department. I explained the situation to the man at the other end and he then informed me that I would have to purchase a new key blade which would have the transformer attached. Huh?

I looked at the key bits in front of me. I had a blade and a push button bit........I asked the man what I should be looking for. He told me that I would need to get the blade with a U-shaped attachment which would have the transponder on the inside.

I told him that I had never seen this before when the key had come apart. He said probably means that you haven't had it there for a fair while.

How have I been driving without it? I dunno but the chip is attached to the blade.

I then tried to explain that I had seen the chip part in the push-button bit. When? A while ago, but it was in the push-button bit.

I don't think so.....

He continued on with this line but something sounded weird in his description. Once I had got the blade I would have to get the key cut from my key blade which I had already.

Where would this happen? At a locksmith.

Any locksmith? Oh sure any.

Can you do it? Oh - it will take a few days for us to do it and we're flat out at the moment...... If he did it he would have to go the locksmith about 15 minutes away......the closest one down the street obviously couldn't do it.

So when can I do this? Next Tuesday would be good but you'll have to be quick.

I hung up and thought about this.

4 hours later I was driving home from work and thought I might drop into another dealership. I went to the parts section and laid out the bits and explained to the man what I needed. He looked it up and got the part - just like that. I also got a new battery.

He then directed me to the service department so that I could get the chip locked into my cars computer system. I had a chuckle at the efficiency and told him what the other dealership told me.

He looked at me and asked if I was serious. Yep. He shook his head and walked away. I went to the service department.

I am booked in for.........Tuesday. Afternoon.......

All up it has cost me about $90. A new key - apparently that would be closer to $200.

transponders......immobilizers in disguise.....

2009-12-10T21:44:00.003+11:00

I went to my pilates class tonight. That went fine.

I stopped off to get a frozen lasagna for dinner and that's when the fun started.

I got into the car. Started it. Then it stopped. It didn't start again.

I rang the roadside car emergency service. Wait time 20 - 40 minutes. So I thought I would read the owners manual.

I discovered all sorts of things about my car.

After 45 minutes I was bored and cold. The temperature had dropped to 13.5C. I had no socks on nor a jumper. I was cold.

I rang the roadside service and was on hold for a good 10 minutes. Then the man in the yellow van turned up. He had a quick look through my car and then looked at the key. I had lost the transponder chip which immobilizes the engine if missing. This was my situation.

Spare key? At home five minutes away. The man rang through to his company and then told me he would drive me home to get the key. He did, I got the key and he drove me back.

I got into the car - it finally started and I got home. It was only 3 hours since I had left.

Tomorrow I will get a new transponder chip and/or a new key.

it's done

2009-12-09T17:12:00.002+11:00

Can you see me dancing?

The juniors finished their classes for the year! Stoked! Officially I am done - I think........

Tomorrow I meet with the new teacher coming into the department next year. She is young, energetic and just what we need. I will be doing my level best to impress......well not really.

I think I will prepare the rooms a little tomorrow before she comes.

I'm going back to dancing.

wrong number

2009-12-06T09:20:00.003+11:00

The phone just rang.

I answered it.

A female voice asked for Widget.

Yep, this is Widget.

Who am I speaking to?

Widget.

Oh - I must have called the wrong number.

This is Widget.

No, I have called the wrong number. Click.

a class I WILL miss a great deal!

2009-12-02T20:04:00.002+11:00

I haven't seen a few of my classes for a few weeks - various reasons. Marking meetings - actual marking and then other school organised functions (school camps, history day and a few interviews). In amongst all of this I have been teaching by correspondence. A teacher walks in and explains what has to be done and they then, hopefully, do it!

About 3 weeks ago I left an exercise for my Year 8 class on a Wednesday and it was to compose a piece of music. All instructions were there. A due date was left and the kids said "No!" to the teacher and then renegotiated the date. Their reasoning was that they were on camp the next week and then they had their history day so they wouldn't be able to hand the work in as requested. As a group they decided that today (December 2) was a better day. The teacher agreed and wrote the new date down for my records.

One bright spark then thought through the whole date and time - "isn't that after the reports are done?" The teacher replied that it wasn't. As he is a level coordinator for the year above theirs, they think he has more authority than a regular teacher......he convinced them that the marks would be counted. He also informed them that I would be able to mark the work and have it on the report in an hour. His compromise was that the reports were due in on the date they had selected. Apparently the kids think I am a marking guru.....well some know the truth!

I laughed when I was told and thought nothing more of it.

Today I arrived in class prepared to do something or other which wasn't work related. I thought I might be babysitting the kidlets.......I had thought of some silly music games but not much more!

A few asked me about the work that they needed to hand in. I decided it would be good to go with it. I got them to get their work out and continue on and then hand it in.

By the end of the lesson I had all 24 of their compositions and about the same in Listening Journals. May I remind you that the reports were submitted yesterday!

Tomorrow afternoon will be opening the books and having a quick read then placing a stamp in the book. I think they will be happy.....I'm not sure if I will be. Oh well.

A couple of kids in the class asked me as they had now officially finished all their work and the reports were due in after school could they do something 'fun'. I asked for a definition of 'fun' and they had no idea what that meant.......I am thinking....I don't want to watch a bloody dvd! I am thinking karaoke.....what do you all think?

I will miss this group of kids - they are hilarious. One kid sat for period 5 & 6 with a home made ancient helmet on. He handed in his work with the words "here is something that I have completed for you madam but I am unable to decipher what I have scribbled.....it is too modern for me". As he entered the room he called me his lady. The kid is just on 5 foot tall, cute as anything and has the most amazing personality ever!

twiddling the fingers!

2009-12-01T17:31:00.003+11:00

I am very excited....I have finally handed in all my reports - 200 of the buggers. Writing them this semester was really quite difficult. My interns didn't leave me the best of marks - but I was able to do a fair bit with them. I blame the supervisor. Oh that's right....that's me!

I also had to rely on a few others for marks.

This leads me to an interesting scene....I asked my department leader for some marks for the kids. I got them, and let me tell you he is one generous marker! One kid had this quote "Can't remember this one".

"Hmmm" thinks I. You have had these kids for a semester......how do you not know who they are? Especially if there are only 15 in the class with you?

I looked at my results and then I looked at what the kids had been given. My favourite kid in this group we share - I had given a 9.5 for most things, he 6! A kid who does absolutely NOTHING - I had to prise an assignment from their well lacquered fingers, He gave a 9 to and I - a mere 6......(These marks are out of 10!)

But it does not matter!!!!!!! We both have different opinions of the kids and they work differently for different teachers.....

There was nothing like the euphoria I felt as I shredded the paper proof-reading copies after electronic submission......having had the report master standing over me as I handed the reports in at the due time.......He was pushing people to hand their reports in and started to push me. I pushed back as I had so many of the buggers and had to fit in the proof reading etc with my buddy during a complete day of teaching. Grr! Thought to myself "Back of bitch" but I was quite polite. I got through it all - 6 periods out of 6 of teaching and working through lunch!

Tonight is the first night in about 3 weeks when I have nothing to do marking wise (external exam marking or my own reports!) I am not sure what I will do.....I know finish the sock for Frogdancer.......

more quotes n stuff

2009-11-22T15:52:00.003+11:00

A few interesting spellings for you all which I have got from the exams.....(correct spelling will be in brackets)

Chellow (cello)
Motztart (Mozart)
exzylophone (xylophone)
Sabalius (Sibelius)
Siriel (serial)
Sticcato (staccato)
Synfony (Symphony)

A factual point raised - Cole Porter was singing on a recording made a good 20 years or so after his death! Pretty impressive if you ask me.

And a couple of quotes:

"the start is really strong and powerful. The end is like bang it's over"

"And it changes to major which is a sign in classical music that the piece is about to end".

Only 35 more to go and then I can get onto the reports.....200 of them!

Cheers

quotes

2009-11-18T06:53:00.003+11:00

Here are some quotes that I picked up from my marking over the past few days. Remember that all of these are to do with music....

"the confusing circus-like instruments were removed" (have they been to my year 8 band rehearsal?)

"an important historical context relating to the history of the music" (in case you were wondering)

"maracas play silently to give that latin dancing groove" (I wish all percussionists did this - especially those who have no sense of rhythm)

"pungent and confronting" (I can only assume this is referring to a sound)

"light feminine type of notation with a soft touch"

"becomes more of an artwork alongside a great musical piece" (this is obviously not their favourite piece of music)

The power of music

2009-11-16T19:42:00.003+11:00

Today I learnt this......

"it's as if the music will actually be able to calm an enraged gorilla".

I have seen this happen - when I have played 'Morning Mood' to my Year 8s......

the testosterone seemed to leave the room and we had an intellectual conversation about the music and how the composer was so amazing in that he only used 5 notes and it sounded so fresh....(the words of my boys!)

the kid must have been in the room!

2009-11-15T12:46:00.002+11:00

A quickie for you all......busy correcting exams - 15 to go out of 100.

I have learnt through this marking that the 1930s were medieval times.....I am yet to find out what neo casticismo means....anyone?

Whilst having lunch I flipped on the tv and watched a few film clips -which I don't normally do. Here is my new favourite.

catch up

2009-11-10T20:39:00.002+11:00

Evening all. Long time no write.....

It is stupidly hot here at the moment. Over 30 for the last 4 days and more of the same for the next few.......OMG! Apparently the last time November was this hot was 80 years ago.

About 3 weeks ago we were snuggling under warm blankets. Now, I am realising that I don't have enough warm weather clothes.

I love the end of Spring - so full of surprises. I just wonder what Summer is going to be like if the weather is like this and we haven't hit that season yet!

On other news - I hate the amount of correction that I have to do. My student teachers - whilst they were busily correcting - did Sweet FA in relation to leaving me with any decent marks to work with. I have to chase too many kids for my liking. What a complete waste of time they were for me!

transition

2009-10-31T11:32:00.002+11:00

The world is an amazing place. There are so many twists and turns that can both delight and daunt you.

If anything in the past fortnight has taught me something - then it is this. Nothing is as it seems. Take nothing for granted and assume that there is always something that you are capable of learning.

Since T's passing, the school has had a different feel. I can't put my finger on what exactly as it is a changeling. All I can say is that I have felt, witnessed and been part of something quite different.

It is not just the school that I have noticed differences - my perceptions of the world seem to be changing. Good. Bad. I have no idea. I feel that I am just more aware of what is going on.

I often don't know what is the 'right' thing to say or do. Often there is no 'right' - just to be. Once upon a time I used to think that I could fix everything. Now I am of the opinion that I can just keep my space that I inhabit in some sort of order. Those that come into my space can work with me or not. I cannot fix what is not mine to fix.

I am feeling very philosophical and cannot go into specifics. One - where do you start and then how do you finish? Two - what is a 'fixable' for me is not something that others need to be part of, and vice versa.

My heart is going out to those family and friends of mine who are facing some challenging and interesting situations at the moment. Some of them didn't sign up for this part of the journey but they are taking the journey because they have been asked. I love them and am here as a witness to their strength and beauty. I have a lot to learn from them.

Its in the cards

2009-10-24T12:11:00.005+11:00

I read this on Celticbuffy's site and liked the look of it. I followed the link and had a quick tarot reading......

I had one question - which I think is the question most single people ask themselves...... I clicked and here is the answer....

The OPPORTUNITY		The CHALLENGE

19 - the Sun Radiant joy You have the opportunity to shine in the world. You may find a big smile on your face. With a huge burst of energy, your spirit is shouting out a great big YES! Perhaps you have accomplished a long term goal or are receiving accolades and attention for the good work you have done. You are healthy, energetic and enthusiastic with a warm and generous heart. It's time to celebrate and get out and play in the sunshine. Sing, dance, make love, let your creativity flow. Shine on!		15 - Bindweed Life out of balance You are being challenged to ask yourself what holds you in bondage. What is out of balance in your life — what takes more than its fair share of your attention, energy and life force? When our addictions (whether drugs, alcohol, sugar, shopping, TV or any other drug of choice) run loose in our lives creating chaos, we need to take action to bring our lives back into balance.

The RESOLUTION

14 - Temperance
Combining opposites

Resolution comes with finding the serenity of the middle way between polarities. You are ready to embrace the different parts of your personality, both light and shadow, that combine to make your own unique self. Your inner, spiritual life harmonizes with your life in the workaday world. You have discovered that your whole life is a work of art. You may be in need of healing on a spiritual or physical level, and the Winged One — a descendant of the ancient Bird Goddesses — is here to facilitate that for you. She may also aid you as you move into the role of healer yourself.

The opportunity is interesting as this is going on at the moment for me, having just been appointed the new head of classroom music at my school.....woo hoot!

The challenge - I have been asking myself what is stopping me from having it all?

And The resolution? Well I have been working on just this.....

All up - interesting!

Try it out and see.

hard

2009-10-17T16:56:00.003+11:00

It has been a whirlwind this week emotionally. The year 12s had a festive end to their year - Tuesday dress up day, Wednesday sign the uniforms and valedictory dinner and Thursday - their assembly which was highly entertaining.

I love my year 12s and some are definitely favourites in my world. Others, I am pleased to see the end of - but then you get that with every group of people.

Friday morning the bubble of high energy was burst with the sad news that one of the girls in Year 12 had taken her own life earlier in the week. I didn't personally teach this girl but I knew her through others that I did teach.

Her funeral was today and I found it to be one of the most moving experiences I have been to. I was there to support the kids I teach who knew her and I was struggling with the whole situation.

Frogdancer was one of her teachers and her account is quite moving........

All I have to say is RIP T.

scaredy cat

2009-10-12T20:05:00.002+11:00

How do you scare a cat when watching tv?

Watch 'Top Gear' whilst they are reviewing a high-powered engine with an incredibly whiny sound.

Cat jumped off the couch and sat on the floor behind me......I laughed.

Poor cat.

tea for two

2009-10-10T13:49:00.003+11:00

Last night I went out for dinner with the social group that I am a member of but it didn't quite work out the way I planned.

This particular group usually book into a particular restaurant but decided to change venues - new place for some variety. I arrived at the venue and saw people I knew at a table so I sat down with them. Another guy arrived in and joined us.

It wasn't until a second guy and girl joined us that I registered that I might not be with the group that I thought I was going to meet - by which stage I had brought a glass of wine and was enjoying a good catch up. This last guy and girl were meeting the other group of people that I thought I was catching up with.

The group I was sitting with had booked into the restaurant and HAD been part of the social group, which was how I had met them all, and they were having a casual catch up which I had stumbled upon. As I know many of these people well I didn't think anything of it! It wasn't until the current social group people showed up that I realised the confusion. It was awkward there for a moment or two.

I moved between the two tables and it was ok......but it was weird.

procastination

2009-10-04T12:17:00.002+11:00

Last day of the school holidays and all and I don't think I really remember them going so fast before.....maybe I didn't have as much correction to do before...

I was at dinner last night with a good friend of mine who is a physics/chemistry teacher at her school and both of us agree that this year has been the craziest year for year 12s. We both have felt slightly bombarded with year 12s this year. Same with a music teacher friend of mine from another school.....Might be the year for it.

I am also a little befuddled at the moment......Daylight savings has begun. A couple of years ago they decided to bring forward the starting date of daylight saving, which was after a successful delaying of the end of it. Essentially we have 6 months with and 6 months without. The only way I remember which way my clock goes is through a mantra I got from someone on the internet - thank you.....Spring forward. Fall back. You should have heard me last night with muttering as I changed all the clocks in the house. Perhaps it's best that you didn't.

I do like this particular time of year - each day holds so much promise as you feel like you are getting more into the day. But then I love all times of the year. Winter, when you can snuggle up and watch the tv without feeling like you should be out. Summer - spending long evenings enjoying the warm weather. Autumn with the falling leaves......I love all seasons. I just hate extremely hot days.

I suppose I should finish the corrections.

2009-10-02T23:52:00.001+10:00

This is for Frogdancer.....after all the essays she has read with many a mistake in them...

two quotes

2009-10-01T20:46:00.002+10:00

I have just heard two quotes that I think I need to make part of my choir rehearsals....

I was watching "Glee" which I think is one of the cheesiest tv shows I have ever viewed.......

My quotes - from a teacher to a student wanting to join the singing group..... "You stuff this up for me and I will shove my fist so far down your throat you'll taste my armpit hairs." I think that this is an inspiring line - one that I am sure I can make work in a choir rehearsal.....

The other from another teacher "I want you to smell your armpits. That's the smell of failure." something to tell a kid when they have no idea how to succeed.

Help me - where can I make these work?

changing plans for the day

2009-09-28T13:51:00.003+10:00

Week two of the holidays and I had an appointment with the dentist - to have another look at that tooth that broke around my birthday...it still hurts when I eat or the right side of my mouth. I changed my appointment as I have the beginnings of a cold......nothing like being a sneeze-head and struggling with the whole breathing thing (although not so severe now) and having work done in your mouth.....

Considering I have a little time to myself, I haven't dressed yet - such bliss.....and I have just about finished writing up 2 exams. I have one more to go! Then I have the CDs to go.

Did I tell you that I am on Facebook? I have become addicted to the farming application here......I have this thing about seeding fields and yielding the harvest - even if it is only virtual.

My thoughts today are with my sister who is having chemo for breast cancer. Just sending out my love to her! If you can send her love that will be awesome!

80s retro

2009-09-24T16:44:00.002+10:00

The last two posts have been a bit of a rant - some of you may have wondered where my head was when I complained about the skirt/pant thing. Yes, a bit of a non-issue but I just hate that look.

Yesterday was a more obvious dabbling with the idea of blogging as a stream of consciousness. I am thinking that instead of going through and editing my ideas I might just play with the idea of letting it all go in one session.......not sure if it will be good or not but....meh!

Today I have discovered how 80's like fashion is becoming. I lived through the vibrant colours then, and they were relatively cool then but there is no hiding when you where the ultra lime green, brilliant orange or hot pink.....

I have heard and read about the desire for shoulder pads - which I hope will not be jet wing wide..... and I am also hoping the bubble skirt is not on for a revival..... Again, I may be creating more out of this than it is worth but I really have a hard time looking at the 'victims' who haven't quite worked out what suits them or not. In teenagers it is not really an issue - but in older women .....

Now I am out to purchase a hot pink something......I need to improve my victim status......

musing to the percussionist

2009-09-23T13:15:00.003+10:00

I am sitting in the office of the music department at the moment listening to one of my year 12 students practice for his performance exam. This is the issue when you don't play a portable instrument, you have to find people to help you get practice time. He is a percussionist and he has a drum kit at home. For his exam he will play drum kit, marimba, xylophone, snare drum and timpani. He hasn't done any timpani practice today as he left his music for that piece at home......

I will be in again tomorrow with the kids not doing solo (ie group) and the same boy is coming in to practice. He has assured me that he will have his timpani music. You should see this piece he is playing, it is very entertaining.

I was only intending to be here for a couple of hours - to take the kids through the two versions of one of the pieces they have to write about in their written exam. We seemed to have run out of time during the term to get everything done due to many rehearsals for the big concert. I arranged for the kids to meet me for about 3 hours today to run through this final part of the course. All but one turned up.......not a bad effort really. We wrote about the two versions on all elements and discussed how to answer various questions. The kids seemed to do get a lot out of it.

Tomorrow when the group kids are here I will be revising everything in their course - aural/written, aspects of performance, analysis, improvisation.

It's funny - I have had solo and group together all year and have found the going tough. The basic principles of the course are the same. 50% for a practical performance at the end of the year, 25% for school assessed coursework (solo - all prac, group -mostly written) and then 25% for the end of year exam. It's when you get down to what they are being assessed that everything becomes a nightmare. There are similarities but no direct correlations between the two courses.

Here is a basic idea for the written aspect:

Theory /Aural

Scales - both have to write them but completely different types and in different keys!
Intervals - again both have to know them but how they are assessed is different. Group is aural in this aspect.
Melodic Dictation - both write but Group are given all but 2bars. Solo have to sort the whole thing out themselves - no key signature given. Again different scale types used in both courses.
Rhythmic Dictation - not assessed in Solo (only in the Melodic dictation)
Chords - Solo has to know them from the scale types they learnt, Group have to know how to build on any note.
Chord progressions - group have a list to choose from but are not given any information about the opening chord. solo have the opening chord given but that is it!

Analysis
Group have to write about very, very short excerpts from popular Australian music. Something that could have been released this year. They are played it a few times and write about 7 different elements.

Solo have two different versions of one piece played to them and write about 5 elements and how they compare and contrast in the two versions.

Solo then go on and write two long answers to two prepared pieces. They have about 15 minutes on each........

Group have to then write about Aspects of Performance - including acoustics; and either Part Writing or Improvisation. We did improvisation. Again about 15 minutes on each.

The whole exam is 1 1/2 hours long.......

As you can see, there are similarities but no direct correlations......Frustrating as a teacher and I think more so for the kids in the class as you teach to one lot, while the other do something else. The attention span of most of these kids is about 10 minutes maximum.......you then have to swap activities. I will be quite happy when they have finished as I wont have to do the intellectual tap dance of which course has what......

gripe

2009-09-22T12:54:00.004+10:00

I have a couple of things that have annoyed me over the past few days.......

What's with pants and dresses being combined? I know that this was a fashion statement a couple of years ago - why? I have no idea BUT I thought we had all grown up by now......If there is a legitimate reason to where pants and dresses - I haven't heard or seen it! Yesterday I saw a woman wearing wide leg pants with a v-neck, no sleeve dress......Huh? What made it worse was the fact that she worked in a clothing store! The dress was not a long shirt, nor was it a short dress. It was in fact a long, long dress. Below the knee length. What is the go?

I am NOT a fashionista (just writing that makes me laugh as I am sitting here in my tack pants and polar-fleece) but this is a fashion that I am struggling with. Who thought this up? Why were they allowed to get away with this? I just do not get it!!!!

Why do people need to take up the whole road when they are driving? Many times in the past few days there have been people with mobile phones in hand (so illegal!), arguing with their passengers, or helping their kids (who are in the backseat) get something. As a consequence there has been a diversion to the other side of the road - sometimes in a near accident.........

Concentrate people!

Ok - I am fine now. Just had a massage and I feel much, much better.....

set up

2009-09-21T09:55:00.003+10:00

Saturday night I believe I was invited out to dinner as part of a set up. Interestingly I said 'yes' to an invitation to dinner for a person's birthday.....I don't know this person. I thought there might be few people there. Few is the word we need to focus on. 8 altogether.

Actually the conversation went like this
Friend: Are you doing anything on the 19th?
Me: Not at this stage (was 4 weeks ago!)
Friend: We're going out to dinner are you interested in coming?
Me: Sounds good. Where are we going?
Friend: Not sure at this stage. I'll let you know as soon as I know.
Me: No worries. What time?
Friend: Probably early. It's So and So's birthday.
Me: Who's he?
Friend: You remember? He came to a bbq at our house.
Me: Not really.......(thinking it is now too late to pull out of dinner....bugger!)

I sat next to the birthday boy - I was interested in catching up with the people that I did know but didn't really get much of a chance.......

This man is nice enough except for one thing that will drive me to distraction. He is, in my opinion, sickly sweet. Maybe I am picky but that is something that I would rather be.

I could be reading way to much into it.....maybe it was just his birthday and I was invited a long to even up the numbers. That's it.......

First Sunday of the holidays,

2009-09-20T16:52:00.003+10:00

I always love the first Sunday in the holidays......there is so much promise of what is to come.

Today I put clothes away - something that I haven't had time to do for about 2 weeks......so there were lots and lots of clothes. I also had a bit of time to remake the bed with fresh, new linen.......

The clothes line is completely full - and that is a huge lot of washing in a one person household......

I have sat comfortably on the couch for the past few hours watching the end of series 3 and the beginning of series 4 of West Wing which is something that I have loved doing.

I have planned a few gluten-free and dairy-free food for the bookclub meeting at my house on Wednesday night. I am thinking dips and rice crackers, nutmeg biscuits, little apple tarts and banana cake....... I also will make some Thai chicken balls, maybe some vegetarian rolls, and try my hand at samosas..... Now all I have to buy the ingredients and get cooking. (Do you think it sounds good?)

Tomorrow I will probably read the extra sections of the weekends newspapers, do some correction, and then go shopping after seeing my singing student. I will also have some time to read through and correct year 12 work. Not a bad day really but the most important thing is the sleep in!

sleep is good

2009-09-19T13:47:00.003+10:00

Day one of my holidays.....what have I done? Nothing - except 2 1/2 hours of phone calls. Lovely.

I had my final one-on-one pilates class last night. I found it very strenuous. My mind and my body were not one. I was laughing a great deal, as was my instructor, as I could not really coordinate the activities that I was being asked to do. The best - feet in table top, arms completing over head pull downs whilst doing a minor sit up. WTF? I realised that giggling doesn't help.

Having had a big morning tea and a yummy Indian lunch I had no need for dinner but I did have a few dry biscuits. I lay back on the couch to relax and I think I must have had a sleep for two hours there.......I was on one channel which had the evening news on at 7.15pm.......I woke up to the same channel and it was still the news but a different presenter......9.37pm.

I went to bed and slept until 8.10 this morning. The only thing that woke me through the night was the heavy lump that is my cat trying to get comfortable on my feet. She got kicked off and I returned to sleep.

My plans for the next few days is to relax, correct the final work I have from my year 12s, write their practice exams and then, as much as possible, turn off.

I do have a few other things - finish making sheets, make a few skirts, sort out the books in my house and purchase a few bits and bobs. Not much really. I am thinking about a holiday to NZ in the summer - a friend has just moved there and I think I might visit her in January.

Do you own striped pyjamas?

2009-09-18T17:54:00.002+10:00

Last night, as I wrote yesterday, we had the final night of recitals. I got home at a reasonable hour and wound down with a spot of port and West Wing......

Finally I went to bed at around 11pm and found myself looking at the ceiling. My mind kept going back to one thing.......I had left the heating on in the music centre at work. I was very concerned that I would get back to work this morning and find that the centre had burnt down.......this was the last thing that I wanted - there is a lot of expensive equipment there.

I then had a conversation with myself about the fact that the heating hadn't even worked so there was almost no chance of the place burning down as there was NO heat being generated. My mind then decided to contemplate the issue that the electricity was going and there was a high possibility that the motor might die and again, there might be a fire.

At 11.56 I made this decision. Get up, drive to work, turn off the heating, drive home and go to sleep.

11.58 I was out the door and in my car. I drove - within the speed limit - and made it to work in 20 minutes. This is amazing as it takes me 35 minutes minimum during peak hour. I pulled up outside one of the building sites (we have two - I was outside the hall) and it was then I remembered that I was in my pyjamas, slippers and a short-waisted zipper jacket.

After a moment of thought I jumped out the car, locking it as I shuffled round past the building site and to the boiler room where the heating controls are. I unlocked the room, turned off the controls and then shuffled as fast as I could back to my car. 1 minute 30 seconds total.

In hindsight I realise that it was a stupid thing to do.....but then I am (and was) very tired.

I drove home and all the way home I contemplated the thought that although I didn't meet anyone at the school itself, there might be video evidence.....which could end up anywhere.......

The whole trip took me 40 minutes and I was asleep in bed by 12.45. Amazing really.

This morning I awoke with the thought that door was on the alarm system and that I was sprung on the cameras......I tentatively walked through the school building until I came to the Principal. She made no mention of being alerted by the alarm system.....so far so good.

After keeping my mouth shut (told one person who laughed very loudly....) I did tell the principal. She laughed very loudly too. By the end of recess the buildings and grounds man approached me and asked me how much was I willing to pay to have the footage 'disappear'. Hmmmmm.....I thought that I was sprung so I decided to see where the footage was taken from......

I reapproached the buildings and ground man. I had, in passing mentioned it to another staff member who had witnessed the principal laughing, he then told another and so the story moved...... If we didn't have the hall work taking place I would have been sprung.....there could be footage from the end of the staff area - but I think that this is highly unlikely.....

I don't think there are going to be anymore striped pyjama runs in the near future. Tonight is get to sleep quickly night! I won't stay awake for a long period tonight!

I'M ON HOLIDAYS! The interns are finished!!!!!! Massive concert done! It's all good.

one day to the hols.....

2009-09-17T22:38:00.003+10:00

Last night of the recitals tonight. Woo Hoo! Actually the night wasn't as long as I thought it was going to be.....two sickies with medical certificates..........so we finished at 9.30 or so which meant I was home just after 10! Yay!

Between tonight and tomorrow night I am going to write two intern reports (am I going to be glad to see the end of them - one more than the other), correct a few SACs (school assessed coursework, for year 12s) and then pack my stuff and go home. I have a year 12 class and a year 8 class to do in amongst all of this.

I have had a great glass of port (might have another!), watching episode 16 series 3 of West Wing and relaxing on the couch. Such bliss - what a great pity I wasn't able to undertake this luxury at 8pm!

Stream of Consciousness

2009-09-16T22:41:00.003+10:00

Night two of the year 12 recitals......5 singers (2 classical voice and 3 contemporary voice) and 1 percussionist. The percussionist claimed he was not going to sing.....I counted 5 "ole's"...He lied!

I found that I come home to relax by watching West Wing. I loved it when it was on tv and now I love it even more when I can catch up on episodes one at a time..... I am up to Series 3. I keep laughing that all the "things" that happen. Whenever there is an issue either character involved in the issue will comment on "the thing". eg "We have a thing" or "Do you know about the thing?"

Not sure if I will get through the last 20 minutes of this episode - finally I am getting tired and this stream of consciousness is drying up.

There are two days left in the term. One of those days will involve me being at the school until 10.30pm or so. The other day will be talking to my interns about their placement with me.

I will be so glad to see Friday 2.30pm!

quick now

2009-09-15T23:12:00.002+10:00

So night one of the senior music recitals is over. There were some good ones and some that I have thought - oh dear.......they weren't bad BUT compared to where they were last semester, I am a little concerned.

I came home in between teaching and recitals and my house was clean. Can I tell you again how lovely it is to have a cleaner who comes in and dusts, cleans, mops etc. Bliss.

During the day I was reading my year 11 students writing for Music Styles. This was my favourite sentence (if you are American, Look away NOW!)
"The thickness is truly representative of America and it's people." - I should probably explain that she was trying to describe TEXTURE in a piece of music that was used in the credits of "The Day after Tomorrow". I asked her to read the sentence out of context and she quickly changed it.........

I'm now off to bed - I was burning the night's repertoire onto CD for the kids - each one has their own CD to take home tomorrow......

Dog

2009-09-14T20:30:00.002+10:00

In amongst all of my craziness I have found myself watching "Dog: The Bounty Hunter". You know, I love this show! It is full of the most amazing things I never realised I wanted to know about chasing fugitives.......

I think my most favourite episode - but then it has happened in a number of episodes - is where Beth, Dog's wife, was sharing the idea that haste was imperative as they had a big case to sort out. All the while she was applying her heavy makeup as she stated "a girl has to look her best".

Monday nights just wouldn't be the same without a 'takedown'. Each character is like a cartoon character. There is something quite surreal about this show......

Am I the only one who finds this tv compelling but for all the wrong reasons?

it is hectic

2009-09-12T11:35:00.003+10:00

I haven't posted for a while - you probably didn't especially notice but saw that I might not have come up on the reader you use for a while.

It's not that I haven't got anything to say.....I just don't really have the time to say it. I am, at the present moment, spending ridiculous amounts of time just doing lots of stuff. By saying that please don't panic any of you - I have caught up with friends and family but I haven't got onto the internet that often. I have been enjoying the personal contact with face-to-face interactions.

Work is ridiculously busy - but then when the head of department takes a week off, reasons unknown to me, you might find yourself with a different class placed in front of you which you spend a week teaching and discovering that they are so hungry for information that they write down EVERYTHING that comes out of your mouth. Now I know that I am one of the most inspirational speakers around (crickets chirping in the background) but I found this quite off putting.

Added to this new class conundrum the two interns that I have. May have mentioned these delightfuls before but I have one week to go with them. I am quite relieved. The good one (A) is still motoring along. I don't think that she is a favourite amongst the kids but they are working hard for her and she has developed some good relationships with them. Behaviour is not an issue - and if it is, she deals with it without any mad panic attacks or diva style behaviour.

The other one (B) has changed a great deal over the last 9 weeks. She is still hard work emotionally. B has not really developed great relationships with the kids and I believe many will be glad to see the back of her. Classroom Management has been a major issue for her. We started with no real concept of what she wanted or how to get it.

Now the pendulum has swung the other way. She over reacts to things and then demands justice for the smallest of misdemeanors. This week kids were handed detentions like you would throw confetti over the newly weds. It was amazing to witness. I went to one of her detentions as I had kids in the same room finishing work. It amazed me - there were two kids who turned up who didn't have a detention but they had nothing else to do as all their friends were there. Then the cheeky cherubs misbehaved and were threatened with an afterschool..........

I have had other teachers pulling me aside all week to discuss the issues with B. Most of the conversations start with "are you responsible for the intern B?" I raise an eyebrow and suddenly find myself being enveloped with another intriguing tale of the adventures of intern B.

It's funny - everyone on staff knows who intern B is but then are amazed that there is another one, A. When I point out that I have two, the response is "Really?"

Year 12s finish soon and as a consequence of the looming finish line kids have hit the accelerator with an amazing panic. I teach junior classes at the moment all the while madly going through what I am expecting to do with this or that student.........this coming week I have three nights of recitals to attend. Each of the solo kids has to present a program up to 25 minutes. Mulitply that by 18 and you have a decent amount of time to be found. The group boys have to do 35 minutes. Next week is the last week of term and I am scratching my head wondering why I have done this.........but then their end of year exams start on the first weekend of term 4. It has to be done then!

On a completely different track - our large staffrooms are arranged like small enclaves. Each is a social entity to itself that can be severly affected by personnel changes. My small grouping was a group of 5 women and one man. This man is one of THE MOST ANNOYING men I have ever met. He is a noisy eater, an emotional roller coaster and an amazing braggart.

A few months ago one of the ladies retired. She was replaced by a quietly spoken man who I get along really well with. His desk is amazingly tidy but lacks an obvious coherence. (but then mine is a minefield of danger and peril with no order anywhere in sight!) He is a patient man who deals with everyone equally. He sets an example that I have no desire to follow but feel slightly guilty that I don't......it soon passes.

One of the other ladies is only in the school 2 days a week. She has no real impact on the social niceties of the grouping of desks other than getting in my way by having her chair too far out. We speak on very general terms but her whiny tone of voice annoys me.......in fact any whiny tone amongst the staff annoys. What is wrong with stating what you need to say and doing so without the "it's not fair" tone that just gets under your skin? I digress......

In the last fortnight the other two ladies (art teachers) have gone on leave and have been replaced with two males. One is quite efeminite and has an intruiguing way of dealing with the annoying man.......I still laugh. He is a moderately big personality but then tries to hide this away. As a result he comes across with this pulsating energy that he is trying madly to hide but sometimes fails. One of the other art teachers is in his face constantly. (She is another of the whiners and I cringe at the nearness of her.....)

The other is a strange person. He is nice enough - social niceties are there "morning/bye" but that is about as much as you can get out of him. I am sure he is a fine artist - in fact I have seen some of his doodlings. They're interesting and quite pleasing to the eye. He is very reserved but seems to be spending a lot of time observing the world and, I believe, to be working out ways of using the information he finds in his artwork.

Now the next part of what I am about to say is completely unnecessary but it's more of my observations of this bloke. He travels from one side of Melbourne to the other to teach at our school. I mean he is travelling a good 45 minutes from the inner northern suburbs to a real suburban school. It must be a culutral shock.

Once he has arrived he squirts some sort of clear liquid (no, it's not water in a fancy bottle) under his tongue. I've seen him do this two times now. It is quite disconcerting. I believe it to be a herbal concotion of some sort. He is a strong vegetarian (again, nothing unusual here) and has made lots of comments about my lunch............

I have called him strange. I mean this from the angle that I can't quite guage him. He is not a typical teacher BUT then he views himself as an artist who occasionally teaches. This is a different view for most teachers at my school. They are, on the whole, dedicated, career teachers. I can't quite fathom how he finds working at the school we are at, and this is the point from where I begin my definition of his strangeness. I think it is more an indication of my inability to categorise him than anything to do with him.......

I am hanging out to my holidays and catching up with me. This term has been emotionally challenging, both on a personal and professional level. I have been working incredibly hard for the term - we had our huge concert, which was too long, 3 weeks ago. I do the massed singing at the end, which is quite a head spin, but taxes me through the rehearsal process. 700 kids and teachers who seem to be there to watch the 'show'. It's frustrating.

I also have the year 8 band who are cute but all over the place musically, and I have the choir. They are developing in ability and size. I decided to have new uniforms this year. We made them. It took so long to make them. We made 78 of them. Only 73 were used. They looked effective but each one took about 2 hours to make. I cut half of them out. I sewed a dozen of them. They took a long time.

So now I have presented half of the reasons that I haven't been on line for a while. Hopefully it won't be as long next time.

all the cats come out to play

2009-08-21T21:42:00.003+10:00

This morning I got up late. Loved it!

Took some time to over cover the chocolate cake with icing sugar.....I mean it was nuts!

Realised I was running late - so I showered, changed and pampered on speed time. Packed my lunch - very, very small.....then went to lock up the house.

My cat was in on my bed looking a little stressed. I gave her a quick pat and went into the lounge, locked up and put on my boots. Looking at me over the top of my coffee table - Trevor the terrorist cat from next door. He looked very perplexed as I had cut of his escape route by locking the back door.

He went out the front door with a thud.

Why do I call him the terrorist? Well - He terrorises all the cats in the neighbourhood. My cat wont play with him at all.......and now his mates come here to play......He really is a bugger!

(I still laugh at his owners calling his name though - they have very thick Russian accents and Trevor with that accent is hilarious......)

colour your thoughts

2009-08-20T20:01:00.003+10:00

It has been an interesting few days or so in my world.

The most fascinating thing that has happened is discovering, without full diagnosis, that one of my students uses the thinking process Synesthesia.

I just love the idea that sound presents itself as colour......It is really amazing. This particular student thought everyone thought the same way and that because she had trouble developing a language to describe sound, she was 'dumb'. I explained to her that most people can see colour with sound - but it is not the first thing that appears........

For this girl it is the only thing that happens....

I asked her to describe how she saw the colour. Her description has me thinking a great deal.

Think about your vision.

Now think about your peripheral vision.

On the boundaries of that there is an explosion of colour which appears with sound. As the instruments change, so does the colour. If the instruments are played in a different way, so does the colour. Again, the colour changes according to the style of music.

But this is not a major colour change but rather a subtle change if the instruments are related, or the pitch range changes. Higher sounds gets a whiter input........

I am so amazed.

Now the challenge for us is to develop the word mix that goes with those changes. We are starting with the primary colours. As we create a vocab list for each of the elements then we will move to the next level of colour.

This girl is so excited. It is amazing.

I love my job as there are so many different things that occurs.

ramble, ramble, ramble

2009-08-18T19:43:00.003+10:00

massed singing rehearsal........600 kids. a number of teachers looking on at the entertainment. Me waving my hands in the air and actually getting a response from the 600 kids. 40 minutes at the beginning of the day and I am so tired now.....dead voice and tired arms!

making jackets for the choir - overlocker doesn't want to play with one tension! Now I am tense at the stupid loops that shouldn't be in some places.......gr gr gr!

had a rehearsal set up by kidlets for 8am today. Buggers didn't show! apparently it was a misunderstanding. Misunderstanding my derriere!

speaking of bottoms, my pilates for a stuffed back has led to me doing bottom squeezes whilst lying on the floor holding my pelvic floor in place. probably the funniest exercise I've done for a while. cat thinks it's good and promptly sits on my tummy.

been to movies twice in the last fortnight. my sisters keeper - GOD I HATE IT WHEN THEY CHANGE STORY LINES FROM THE BOOK! Other than that an ok movie. the ugly truth - laughed and laughed at very cheap jokes. Just what i needed on a friday night.

actually went to movies that night with a male (woo hoo! but not a date) who talked a lot about himself and asked no questions about me. Fair enough but I know I am much more interesting than an ant!

stopped reading "Salvation Creek" as found the story a little heavy for where I am right now.......moved onto the other book club book "44 Scotland Street". Laugh and laugh, then sleep!

cat got the sniffles - sneezes so might have to get her to the vet soon.

cleaner came today so house is so clean - except for that bit over there where I was sewing...

must admit I love rambling dot point format.......