planning too much?

I've been to the gym this morning. I had my second 'training session' and the instructor I had was very tough. She set the weights a lot more heavier than I had on Wednesday. I am a little - actually I don't know how to describe what I am feeling but I know that I am feeling something. It is somewhere between tired and energised. Muscles are tired but I feel energised.

I have finished one sock of the pair and then discovered that the wool that I am about to begin is wound in the exact opposite to the first ball. It means that if I hadn't picked that up the socks would be the same colouring but a complete opposite to each other. So I wound the wool off for the amount that I think I will need and I have started - the socks could end up being very interesting.

After I have finished breakfast I will do a couple of loads of washing, clean the house and then go shopping for food. I will, after I have done all of this, get a lot of the correction done. I might even get the exams written today.

Dinner tonight - take out roast......yum.

In amongst all of this I am hoping to finish the other sock and I am hoping to get some reading done. I think I might have planned too much into my day.......I'll get you up to speed tomorrow.

friday night update

So I have almost got through all the correction. I am almost relieved. Well actually I am very relieved. I have a few year 8 assignments to correct (3 in total) and re correct a few year 7 assignments (up to 10) then I have 22 year 9 assignments to mark. Then I have year 11 assignments (compositions) and their explanations.

After this I have 2 exams to write - 1 for Styles and 1 for Performance. It won't take me that long to write them but I have to make a cd for each of them. How exciting! I will be recording my dulcet tones for the children to listen to while they are writing furiously. It should be fun to watch their faces.

Finally, reports!

What a fun weekend I have planned!

In amongst all of this I will go to the gym, have dinner with a good friend for her birthday (I have socks to finish) and I will go to the netball with a few other friends on Sunday afternoon. Sounds like a plan to me.

What a day

I have had an interesting day - an emotional roller coaster if you will.

8am I was at work taking a theory class - all good except for the few kids who don't complete the work .......grr....

8.30 I assessed a couple of kids for their technical work. Happy about that - and got through a few more during 1st period.

Recess yard duty was a hoot the kids were freaking out at this mad woman announcing VERY LOUDLY that she was coming to talk VERY LOUDLY next to them to get them outside. (I was on corridor duty).

A student had a mild panic attack during period 3 and I sent him to talk to one of the many people we have in the school that is there for him. I assumed what it was about, he had broken up with the girl he was dating and there are a few other pressures going on in his world outside school. This is a young man who really does live life along the emotional spectrum. He is an interesting thinker too. I don't agree with any of his political thoughts - which does arise from time to time in music (why certain pieces were written etc), but I do like his tenacity to fight for his beliefs.

I really was concerned about him as I haven't seen him go just about over the edge before. He is a final year student and it is often the year you see 'interesting' behaviour. The way they relax in the following year is also fantastic.

I assessed more students and their technical work at lunch, then taught a new topic I hadn't even got my head around during period 5. The kids were great. I was fantastic.

I didn't tell you that during period 2 and 4 I was correcting lots of work! I was feeling fantastic.

Period 6 my students presented their version of Black Betty - an acoustic style they said had "chillage". It kept me amused. But I did let myself down by accusing a student of being lazy. He thinks one word should be enough in a performance review. I can accept that if the word actually defines what he is thinking but he used the word "Good". So when I asked the question what do you mean by "good?", he just stared at me blankly and said "I think that I have said enough." It got interesting then.

I also finished Helen Garners book "The Spare Room" and was almost weeping. I started the book last night and couldn't put it down. Sleeping, driving and teaching got in the way. I'm now ready for my book club.

After a great bitch session - I really needed it - I am back to correcting work again.

Then off to shop for mum, a singing lesson and then home. Woo Hoo!

Procrastion - well it is correction

I tried to do my correction last night but was distracted by two things.

1) A crazy tv show about cosmetics through the ages. It started in the 1910's and finished in the 1960's and focused on Helena Rubenstein and Elizabeth Arden. I was intrigued, particularly with the model that they had between the eras demonstrating what the makeup look was for the coming era. I really enjoyed it.

2) A VERY BIG glass of red wine. Note to self - don't drink red wine when you are about to start correcting or reports. It was a nice drop of wine - given to me by my student teacher.

I sat there very warm, internal and external, and decided at 10pm that that was the end of it. I wasn't going to get the work done. I did separate the work into their various piles so I am right for tonight. I will leave the senior work at home and take the year 9 and below back to school. I should be able to find a little bit of time to get it done.

I had a quick discussion with one of my sisters last night and I told her about the scary, naked dream. She picked up her dream interpretation book and read the various meanings to being naked in a dream to me. She read being naked woman, in a bathtub and at school and this was the summary...I am showing my best talents and that others are recognising it in all areas of my life.

I'm dreaming.......

Update - day 1 of focused energy.

Kids are not coping with me remaining focused! Where is the crazy banter that dominates my classroom? We are covering lots more in the room, we had already so now it's massive amounts.

Correction - not completely done but will be done by the end of today. I have downloaded the reporting package and have set up my classes. I am able to start inputting results now. Probably have them done by the end of next week!

Housework. Vacuuming NOT done but washing away and all looks very tidy.

Craft. I tried to finish the hoodie last night but the wool I am using, ok to knit with but CRAP to sew up with. Will have to purchase other wool in same colour to be able to complete. Thinking this will be put aside to the weekend. Started a new pair of socks to be completed by Saturday for friends birthday.

Gym - went last night and loved it. It's one of those places for busy women. 30 minutes in and out! This means it takes me 1 hour all up to do a work out (15 mins there etc). I am pretty happy about that!

So now you are up to speed.

I will now tell you about my scary nightmare I had Sunday night. It took me a good 12 hours to get to the stage to be able to cope with it! I told a few people at work and they are LAUGHING! How rude!

Have you ever had a naked dream? This is something that I have never had until last Sunday night. I think it was the weirdest and scariest thing that I could've ever dreamt!

I was running my home group (tutor/form whatever you want to call it but it is basically roll call) and the kids were all in my bathroom. I was in the shower! Yes I was naked. My shower is glass framed structure.

The kids, in my dream, were screaming. Who can blame them?

Their level coordinator came into the room and said "Why are you so upset? This is normal. Your teacher is a lovely looking woman!"

The kids continued to scream and then left the room in a major hurry.

I got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around me. I was wandering through the house and realised I was in the Big Brother house. [I have only ever watched two series of that from beginning to end and now find it very difficult to deal with so this was very strange to be there.]

The kids were all huddled on the HUGE couch in the middle of the room and the voice of Big Brother was asking the kids why they found it so strange that there teacher was naked. "She is a very voluptuous woman and she is very beautiful." [Thanks BB].

I woke up at that moment and had myself a scream!

I struggled going into home group yesterday.........

changing behaviours

I have set myself a challenge with my year 11 students that I think I will put into other aspects of my life as well.

The challenge is to remain focused on the set task. With the year 11's it is to remain on the topic we are discussing in the class and not go on random topics that distract us from what I had initially started with. It should be a good task for me as I can be easily distracted. I have to remain work oriented with the kiddies. This particular class has 3 students who are in my other year 11 class and they asked me if I could do the same for both classes. 10 periods a week! Well I am up for it!

In the rest of my life I can apply this.

Correction (not that different from focused energy in the classroom) is something I can distract myself from VERY easily. Today I start the campaign to change that.

Friends - keeping to the one topic of conversation as long as I can. Well actually I have a slightly different tangent (I have changed focus again - see that?) which I think I do need to work on. I might not state exactly what it is I am going to as a few of my friends read this blog and they will watch me carefully. But I will make this pledge that I plan on changing something in my past behaviour that actually annoys me! If you, my friends, can work out what I have done to change previous behaviour let me know.........If you are confused then that is also very good. I have made this an odd sort of pledge but then I know what I mean.......oh I need to move on.

Reading - read one book at a time and not do what I am doing at the moment - I have 4 books on the go. I am so confused and I have to pare that back to one idea at a time.

Craft - Finish the tasks that I have set. Sew up the zippered hoodie I made. Make 4 pairs of socks, make the skirts and pants that I have material for and finally work on the tapestries. I have too many tasks going at the moment......I get bored easily and therefore don't like committing myself to any one thing.

Gardening - get the garden sorted out it is driving me insane!

Housework - maintain what I have. I get distracted in this too. I should give myself a time limit and then work to that. From the weekend I still have the vacuuming to do, the washing to put away and wash the floors (I'll finish that tonight.)

Exercise - focus on committing myself to one activity and see it through from beginning to end! (Actually I have my first appointment at the gym tonight).

I think I might have to revisit the use of my diary. Am a little lacklustre there.

I believe that is all that I have to focus on - to put it simply I should do one task at a time and get it done properly. Oh my. That will change my behaviour for the time being as I try to multitask all the time.

a different crowd for dinner

I went out for dinner last night. When I left the neighbours were out the back with every light ablaze. When I came home they were still there but it was VERY, VERY quiet. I had a great night's sleep and I have no idea what time they all clambered into their own house. This is progress for me!

Dinner was at an inner city pub. It was a great night. I went with the social group and had myself a ball. Actually the usual suspects were nowhere to be seen. I don't think this was the type of place for Healer Man or Teacher Lady. It was really nice to be somewhere and not have to hide from their dulcet, sweet tones. I caught up with a few people I haven't seen for ages and met a few others that were quite nice too. It was a very different crowd and one I think I will track down more often.

The food at this particular venue was yummy but the delivery time for food was just all wrong. A number of people on my table had warm chicken salads or calamari salads and their food came out really quickly. I had a burger which was very yummy and it was freshly made so it took a little longer than the toss together salad mix with fish/chicken. The intriguing meal in terms of time ordered to time to table was bangers and mash. I am not sure when sausages and mashed potato became a gourmet item that takes forever to cook but last night it took abut 30 minutes from ordering to the time it arrived on the table. (This is compared to the 10 minutes for the salads and 15 for my burger.) The girl who had it said it was worth the wait. Thank goodness.

There were a large number of women there as part of the social group and we all looked around the venue at the large numbers of men there. If the conversation at my end of one table was anything to go by then we were all laughing at the situation.

In the front bar there was a large screen where some rugby match was being televised. Every male that was there was hugging their alcoholic beverage tightly and calling out whenever something heroic happened. Suffice to say these men were not able to see the ladies in the room. They confirmed their state of being by leaving when the game was over. The ones who stayed were not desirable and had their beer goggles firmly attached to their faces. Well avoided!

There were two other tables FILLED with men in the dining room with us. Not one of them were interested in any woman in the place as we were not men. They were beautifully dressed, well spoken men and I felt disappointed that I didn't have a chance with them. I did have a great moment with three gentlemen from their table. I went to order a hot chocolate with a shot of baileys (this is my dessert). As the barman was making it two men came to order lattes. They watched the man making my hot chocolate. The barman asked if I wanted marshmallows. That's when it got amusing.

"Is that yours? You realise that marshmallows will make you fat." asked one man. His partner then chimed in with "That smells like it has liqueur in it. Does it?" I went on to explain that it was a hot chocolate with a shot of baileys in it. "That sounds delicious." " I don't think you will be able to finish that." "It's so nice compared to our boring lattes." "If you can't finish it then come on down to my table and I'll help you." (Please note I have colour coded so that you can see the two of them chatting to me.)

At this point another man from their table joined us and he asked what was going on. Purple man, with some assistance from blue man, told him about the fact that "this lady is having a hot chocolate with a shot of baileys AND she has marshmallows too!" "How decadent! Will you be able to finish that? I think you will need some help."

The barman was having a jolly time, laughing at the reactions this drink order was getting. He then handed me my drink and told me that I had to come back and give him the rating on this hot chocolate.

I enjoyed the hot chocolate, although if I did go back and rate it I would have to say that it was too sweet with too much chocolate.......oh well. As the purple and blue men left they gave me a wave but they didn't ask about the chocolate. I was disappointed that I couldn't gloat to them.

a brief weather report.

It was bitterly cold last night - down to 2deg C. Those of you who are used to the snow and much colder temps my apologies for whinging at a measly 2 deg BUT it hasn't been that cold here in 27 years! I heard from the weather man on the radio that this was the coldest May night since 1981!

When I lived in Tasmania it was this cold the whole way through winter - in fact it got colder. I did get used to it and I was able to move with break neck speed from one place to another......I was constantly warm!

Last night I did something I've never done before. I left the heating on ALL night - it is thermostat controlled and I got up and it wasn't toasty but it wasn't rush round the house like a crazy woman, cold. The house was much warmer overnight, the cat didn't sook up to me to find my warmth - she was quite content to lie in 'her' corner of the bed.

(The other night she tried to sook up to me while I was asleep. I had no idea that she was there except that I felt her whisker against me face. My instinctive reaction was to push her away but I made her fly through the air instead! She mewed very loudly, which woke me and it was then I realised what had happened. I couldn't see her flying as she is a black cat in a dark room, but I heard her.)

The most amazing thing about houses in Australia is their design. We don't have to have double glazing on the windows! I find this amazing as we have very hot days and also quite cold temperatures, especially here in Melbourne. So much of the attempt that we have to maintain a suitable living condition is lost through the windows......

My day is quite exciting really - washing, vacuuming, a little shopping. Basically being a domestic goddess for part of the day. It will keep me warm.

Time for fun

I had about 8 hours sleep last night. Tonight I plan on having about the same - I am about to go to bed.

Today I was in a much better frame of mind - I was much happier. Note to self I must have some time to SLEEP otherwise I will be a ratbag.

I have been investigating gyms and decided that Contours was my best bet. I was just finishing off my interview and a woman walked in. It took her about 30 seconds to recognise who I was - it took most of the 5 minutes we chatted for me to gain any idea who she was. It was the now wife of one of my old housemates. We had a great chat, it was really interesting to see someone I haven't seen in ages.

So I have taken some control of my weight/exercise program. Yay.

I got a really beautiful and thought provoking email today from a great friend in response to my last blog. Thank you K. In it she suggested that I grab the moment and that "it is time to change the build up to special occasions so that they contain fun, excitement and positive reflection." I think I will do just that. Each week until and for the two weeks after my birthday, I will have a celebration.

Next week it will be the beginning of the celebrations. You are all invited.

explanation to my bad mood

I had a think last night as I drove home from Bookclub. I asked myself why am I in such a poopy mood? I am letting the neighbours get to me...it is coming out in my blog (I am sorry) and my students are seeing me in a crazed state as I have not had nearly enough sleep......

So can I answer the question? No, not really. I have a few things that I think it can be related to....it is my birthday in a month and it is also the time that I write reports. I have to be at work for many hours on the actual day of my birthday so I am feeling rather grumpy. It is a common thing for me - and one that I am trying to work through so it doesn't affect me so often - to feel a little down for the month before my birthday, and the month before Christmas as well.

It has happened quite a few times and I am now fully aware of it and try to behave in a more even fashion.

Why does it happen?

I think it has to do with the reflective process that you go through when you are approaching the end of the year (Christmas time) and then also then end of a chronological year for yourself. Sometimes I become hard in the analysis of the situation and don't just accept things for what and as they are.

Why do I actually reflect and not just let it flow?

I think this is to do with my job. As a teacher you are called on to reflect on children's learning. This occurs two times a year - as it would happen both June and December. That is where the two significant times I get down are. Coincidence? I think not - I believe that I reflect as that is what I am doing professionally but I struggle to switch it off. I need to take time to relax each day - a little hard when you have wankers out the back! (sorry went off on a momentary tirade)

I might start making plans how I will celebrate my birthday. I might look at booking a venue and having a bit of fun. Of course I won't do this on the actual day as I am assessing kids performances on that night (who planned that? It WASNT ME!) I have told the kids that I expect them to wish me a happy birthday as part of it!

I might also investigate - as K suggested to me last night (thank you) meditation or a relaxation course. I am struggling with that concept myself and I think I might just need a hand there.

I am meeting up with a person from a gym tomorrow night so I can relaunch the fitness campaign.

I am loading more soothing music onto my i-pod so I can listen to it when in bed. I am planning on taking back my home space (until I move....)

I am being assertive to take back me and work through this slump in emotion as positively as I can.

(oh and Vanessa I tried to get that book you recommended but it is not available for a few months here! GRRRRRR! I am reading the Friday Night Knitting Club instead.)

frustration

I am almost over my tantrum time for the moment. Sorry to take it out on you all. I was living on a high of 20+ readers a day for 5 days!

Last night I made a new born baby hat. It was SOOOOOOO CUTE! While I was busy knitting away the neighbours were sitting out in their back yard with the spotlights on and the wood fire on the go. I thought at first that they might be trying to save money (I know I am being charitable) but now I know they are wankers! Well I have known for sometime I am just restating the fact. I have no idea why they don't go inside!

I am frustrated by them - this is an ongoing syndrome and I know what I need to do. Today I get paid and the credit card is being paid off - then we start saving. I think what really shits me about the neighbours is that I like the unit, it is a fair distance from the single people I know and from my place of employment, but I still like the size unit I live in. If I move I will have to pare down what I have - which is something that I should do anyhow.

I think I am also frustrated by the lack of 'social' life. A few months ago I was playing netball one night a week, running two nights a week and then out the rest of the time. We stopped the team as a fair number of the girls were pregnant and it was a bit of a risk, then I stopped running as it was affecting my health. Since then I have not done a lot of exercise. I think I am feeling a little cooped up at the moment. I might investigate a few other things - exercise that is low impact, maybe a few interest activities too. If I get out to meet non-work people I think I will feel a bit more in control with the neighbours........

Deep and Frivolous

I've looked at the numbers of readers I had for a few days there and compared them with the numbers I have at the moment (2 on today's count....sigh) and I realise something: when you write something deep and meaningful, people expect more!

I am not sure if I can do deep and meaningful each and everyday so it is a lot of pressure. There are days when I just want to be frivolous.

That's it for today. Not much I realise but that's all I got. Enjoy your Tuesday afternoon.

Fridgocide

I have been thinking about this for a few days now so I hope you can cope with my confession.

Yesterday I 'killed' my mothers fridge.

I think I need to start at the beginning of the story for you to get the whole picture.

My mother, I recently have realised, is an elderly lady (early 80's although she looks more like a sprightly woman in her mid 70's). Sometimes her feet and body do not see eye to eye and there are times when they DO NOT cooperate under any circumstances. About five weeks ago she had a fall and wound up in hospital. After a few days the doctors decided that she wasn't getting better as fast as they would've hoped and sent her for a few scans and it came back that she had fractured her vertebrae.

She has spent the last 3 weeks in rehab and is now in respite care while work is done on her place so that she can continue to live independently. The weeks in hospital and rehab have been entertaining and sometimes quite draining. She has improved amazingly well - she has quite an amount of strength that even I (pre 40) am jealous of.

This is not a blog about the woes of having aged parents. No, this post is about the crime I committed against the fridge.

Whilst my mother has been away I have been in charge of keeping the mail sorted, bins and other house things in order.........

Saturday morning and I was winging my way from the bayside suburb I live in to a suburb near my mothers where I was going to pick up the final bits and bobs that a disability/aged care group provide. I realised, as I concentrated in the continual rain, that I would not get back to my mothers house by 10am but closer to 10.30. I texted my sister to let her know. She rang me, I missed it but then quickly rang her back.........

"When we were cleaning out the fridge on Monday I think we might have set in motion the defrost on the freezer" was the first thing I heard her say. "oh" was pretty much all I could say. "She has lost everything she had in the freezer" came my sisters reply.

A feeling of dread came over me. On the previous Monday afternoon my sister and I had discovered that the door of the fridge had come of its hinge. After trying to fix it, we wedged it shut, then told mum she might need a new fridge.

When I finally got to mums house on Saturday I was expecting to see the cork floor looking pretty crap. That size freezer with that amount of ice in it would produce a fair amount of water which, after a few days would have caused all sorts of buckling in the cork tiling in the kitchen!

I looked at the floor while asking how bad the situation was. "There wasn't a lot of water. It took me a few minutes to notice it" said my sister whilst introducing me to the builder that was there giving her a quote for the work. I turned to look at the freezer and noticed a lot of ice. Something wasn't adding up. It dawned on me that we were there 5 days ago (Monday) and that all the ice should've melted in that time. There was a lot still in the freezer. I voiced my opinion and I think we then all agreed that the fridge was dying a slow and painful death, it was just a shock for my sister to see the water and realise that we were the last ones to have anything to do with it!

So where and when did the 'killing' occur?

I decided that we needed a cup of tea after all the cleaning up each person was doing. I put the kettle on. "Mum has tim-tams in the fridge. I think we all need one" I said. (a tim-tam is a chocolate coated, choc biscuit with choc filling. Very yummy) I went over to the fridge and completely ignored the wedge we had put in the door. I also forgot that the fridge door had come off its hinge. I pulled on the door and it went flying. The door landed in the space next to the fridge and the contents of the door went everywhere. There was no way that the fridge was ever going to recover.

After picking everything up, sorting out what was in the fridge could be saved and then helping me recover from the hysterical moment of laughter I was having, my sister suggested we all go and look at a new fridge for mum.

We got a nice one - freezer on top so she doesn't have to bend. I'll be there for the delivery next week. The delivery service include taking the old one away. It's the least I can do. I 'killed' the fridge so I should be the one to give it it's last rites as it is taken away to where all good fridges go.

BUT in my defence I would like to say that the fridge was old and needed replacing when I moved out of mums home 16 years ago.........I just don't think that anyone will believe me if they saw the damage I did.

Cold weather

Yesterday was one of the COLDEST days I have experienced in a long time. I think the thermastat struggled to get above 7 deg. Celsius.(44.6 F)

I was out and about and was frozen when I was in the car, going to the next place and still when I was in a place with heating. I was stunned when I heard the neighbours out the back kicking it up a little.

I was thinking that they were going to be inside as the weather became colder. Now I am wondering why they have a house at all. I think they would be better with a tent (thinking a large tepee).

Thursday night was entertaining as they had a welder going at about 7.30 at night then sat around talking with the lights blazing (my kitchen and laundry had reflected light!) and then finally a very loud argument. I was out Friday night so not sure what happened but last night they were quiet by the time I got home near midnight.

I am a little way off moving but I am definitely not going to be here next Summer as I am over the sound of the bogans having arguments etc. I particularly am over the fact that they have a wood heater out there that they fire up each and every night. One bonus about winter is the fact that I have a heater going and I cant hear them clearly.

I know that I am grumpy about the neighbours as I am tired (physically and mentally) from everything else going on in my world. Anything could just 'get' to me at this stage.......Well not really. I am exaggerating.

success at dinner.

Last nights dinner and movies went quite successfully.

Healer Man tried, unsuccessfully, to engage me in conversation the MINUTE he sat down at the table - despite the fact that I was talking to another person at that time. I think the fact that I ignored him totally might have told him that he needed to wait.

Healer Man had also brought a book to share with Pharmacy distributor. I think the book was something to do with natural psychology - or something along those lines.....two other people asked him about the nature of the book and he suddenly was in his element looking for ways to heal the world naturally.

Teacher Lady was there too and she was in moderate form. I sat two people away from her and didn't really engage her in conversation. She was fairly calm until the Tall Dasher walked in. She changed her personality completely. "Hi Tall Dasher" she squealed. He greeted her with a deep "How're you going Teacher Lady?" and then went and sat at the other end of the table AWAY from her. There were 6 people between her and Tall Dasher but that didn't stop her bringing him into the conversation. She yelled out to him quite proudly.

Now Tall Dasher has become an interesting character for me to observe. The first time I met him (I was only there as another woman had told me he was 'perfect' for me and he might be the father of my children - no pressure!) he was dominant. Every conversation was something he was able to contribute a fair amount to. I realise that he was probably nervous and felt that he had to prove himself. I wasn't really taken by his personality, I didn't mind his looks though.

Next time I met Tall Dasher he was very quiet - he had almost done a complete u-turn. I didn't talk to him much but watched him talk to others out of the corner of my eye. What I observed was that he was starting to find his feet and was starting to listen as opposed to just talk.

Last night I had a quick chat to him - I realised that I am NOT his type. As soon as he had the chance he moved to the other end of the table where a red head was sitting. This is the second time I have seen him spell bound by a red head - I think that is what grabs his attention. But the thing that I did see and approve of was the fact that he looked to say hello and then goodbye to everyone. His sense as a social being was something that I appreciated. When people were disappearing to go and see whatever movie they had chosen (I saw Miss Pettigrew - it's ok but not a dazzler!) he got up to say goodbye to them. Not something that I have seen within the social club much and it was quite refreshing.

My obligations as a host (basically event organiser) are now over. I feel much relieved that it has all finished. I don't have to make sure that people are sitting next to someone they will chat to, don't need to book venues and definitely don't need to worry about money at the end of a meal. I also can now go to events without feeling obligated. It is brilliant! I might actually feel a bit happier about the social group again!

The joys of being a single woman............

Did you know that there are a whole stack of people out there that have serious issues? I only know this as I am a single woman who is out there and I am mixing with the strange population of weird, whacky and seriously deranged misfits.

My dinner from the other night is only a small example of what I encounter when I go out. There have been many an encounter like that one. It is only now that I realise the joy that they behold for the blogging world.

I have tried the online version of dating - that is something again. The online version has many a person who 'sells' their best features (I like romantic walks, I am fun and adventurous etc) complete with spelling errors (I love "meating" people. That's great honey but don't meat me!) and totally avoids anything that might just be a chink in their armour. When you meet these people they suddenly explode all of their idiosyncrasies all at once.

It's a minefield avoiding exes baggage, hate for all who are of the opposite gender to themselves, or who have serious commitment issues. There is many a man out there who believe that if you have interacted via an email or two, had a text and, if you are particularly lucky, a phone call then you're up for a quick bonk once you meet in person. I have often walked away from a 'date' with one of these electronic males and I am scratching my head at the guts the men have when they suggest a quickie.

There is also the fun of discovering the fact that the picture they had on the Internet has nothing to do with the actual representation of the physical. Sometimes there is a 10 year difference!

To try and avoid some of the issues that there are with Internet dating I joined a social group. I had every intention of just going out occasionally and eating dinner, seeing movies, going on walks etc with people that I have never really got to meet before. After the dinner the other night I have come to the conclusion the 'normal' people don't turn up that often to social outings. I think they do but are scared away by the odd-bods that are there.

I think I get along with many people who are just plain weird but my patience is running low, in fact it might be running on empty. I am a school teacher and I deal with strange people everyday - and that's before I get to the kids! I hate going out and having to deal with oddies. I also think there are some straight out RUDE people out there who don't realise that double dipping is NOT an option. Then there is the issue of being unable to read the fact that you might be chatting to someone else and what they have to say is more important and feel it necessary to interrupt you!

I mentioned this to my mother and she asked me why I still go to the social group. Good question - I know that I could do better but there is not much more than that out there. Pubs and clubs are ok if there are people that you can go with but when you are in your late 30's and all your friends are matching and hatching then you look like a desperado.......

I am thinking of all of this as I prepare to 'host' (organising the venue NOT MY PLACE!) dinner and movies tonight with the odd bods. There might be a dazzler amongst them but they might get hijacked by a kooky woman and I might struggle to connect. Wish me luck! - I will
let you know how I get on!

I WILL TEACH ENGLISH!

Well I have had an interesting day - normal stuff (before school theory, two senior classes, year 9s, yard duty and tutoring a new percussion student in my year 8 band) then I had a bit of a rant, which I believe you need to at least one or two times a fortnight to express your stance. (Maybe that is a little too often but then I have had a few rants at work this last week.)

The highlight of the day was Frogdancer asking me if I would like to be an extra teacher in her ESL class one period a week. I accepted gleefully.

Now I am not sure of what my exact role in the class will be, but I do know that Frogdancer will let me know. Today she did help me to some degree with that already. Apparently I have to speak really slowly, loudly and wherever possible use my hands in wild gesticulations. (Thanks to Mr Scott as well for the last piece of advice.) I told my Year 11 class that I would be team teaching with Frogdancer and they told me that they would like to see that combination......

Frogdancer told her class that I would be coming in one period a week - apparently they were just a little concerned. Well I do talk fast, I am a crazy woman and they were worried that I would be teaching them English and I am "the music teacher". I think they calmed down once Frogdancer told them that I would be there as her assistant - although she might be reconsidering her decision to ask me as I did advise her that I could learn lots about English. She muttered something about her teaching me English at the side of the class whilst the students did their own thing in the rest of the room........not sure if she was deadly serious or joking.

last night

I went out for dinner last night and it was a very interesting experience.

I arrived late and was on a different table to people I knew quite well (hi K and Foo) but I was soon surrounded by people that (as I might have described previously) were on the strange scale. I am on the strange scale and I can move from just a little weird to "Where the hell did that come from?" bizarre. I generally try to tone it down a little when I am out and about - you don't want to scare off the natives.

Let me describe the people I sat with as best as I can. I was opposite Nice Woman who I haven't seen in a while but I don't know her that well, we talked for a little bit but it was hard to make conversation. She and I didn't really get into anything challenging and she was keeping her comments very polite.

Next to me, on my right, was a man I would like to describe as Mr Smarmy. He goes to many a dinner but never eats. He is there to socialise, drink and basically check out the women. He finds me a challenge to deal with as I speak my mind. I have done it all my life - I am not one who is afraid to call the a spade a bloody shovel. I also tower over him in height and probably weigh a few kilos more than him, that could intimidate anyone.

Down the way opposite the Mr Smarmy, and beside Nice Woman was the Power Pack. She came in and was rude to everyone from the beginning. I wasn't there right when she arrived but I can tell you she was a Power Pack all the way through. At one point she asked Nice Woman to get the movie guide from someone else. Nice Woman got the guide and was reading it as she thought she might like to go and see a movie. Power Pack waited a good 5 minutes and then snapped at Nice Woman "Well I did ask you to get the guide for me. What are you doing?" I couldn't help myself at this point and countered her aggressive question with "What's wrong with your telepathy? Nice Woman was reading and you should have been able to read her mind." Power Pack didn't quite round on me but she was pretty damn close. I was amused.

During this excitement Toy Boy came in. Toy Boy is so named as he is a good 10 years younger than me, but flirts like nothing else. The fun part is when I actually flirt back - and being the quiet, shy, retiring type that I have described earlier - it throws out his sensibilities. He isn't sure if I am serious or not.......but he keeps coming back for more. His body language indicates that he is interested somewhat in me, but if I pushed him he would run for the hills. I should also state that I am one of the few people Toy Boy even considers talking to. He thinks that there are only a few people in the world worthy of his company, lucky me!

When he arrived he ordered something from the menu and then complained bitterly about the standard of food that he got. Toy Boy does this often so I jacked up about it last night, but without getting nasty. I asked him why he was so fussy. No real answer. When the waiter came back to get the plates and asked if everything was ok, Toy Boy said it was fine. I asked him why he didn't really say something to the staff if it was that bad. No answer.

My dinner was very entertaining as Toy Boy and Mr Smarmy chatted behind my head about women in general and some poor wench who actually dated Mr Smarmy, Power Pack bitched at anyone that was within striking distance and Nice Woman stared vaguely into the distance. While this was going on K and Foo were making faces at me from the next table.....Thanks guys!

When we got to the main reason for the night - birthdays of many of the people there (popular month is May) we had Teacher Lady jump up and direct proceedings. She is a natural leader, Teacher Lady, but she is a right royal pain in the bum. It is her way or the highway. She directs everything - from seating arrangements, why I was on the other table as we don't see eye to eye, to cash flow. Teacher Lady got the wait staff to bring out a cake she had purchased and then asked everyone to contribute a bit of money towards the purchase of it. I don't mind doing this if I know in advance. I did it last night but it left me in a little bit of a bad mood.........She then put candles on the cake and said "Everyone sing!"

Teacher Lady was very close to Healer Man. Healer Man is a little off centre. He is into natural therapies and actually practices but can't stop himself from trying to heal the whole population. If you have a heavy cold in your chest it is something to do with the emotional baggage you can't throw off. I was interested in Healer Man at one stage until I found out how vehemently he believes this - he told me that breast cancer is due to the inability to nurture. I find that really hard to stomach......You can have your beliefs but don't try to shove them down my throat. The ironic twist with Healer Man, who believes that you should try to resolve so much of your life to live healthily (true) is that he is a VERY ANGRY man. So many people are scared to get on his bad side - they don't want to be black listed by him.

The closeness between ANGRY Healer Man and domineering Teacher Lady means that most people feel unable to express their opinions, especially if they're opposite. If you mixed that in with the aggression of Power Pack, last night was an absolute hoot! I'm glad I went so I have something to blog about.

an extra blog

You are lucky, getting two posts in one day. I think I won't have a lot of time to write tomorrow and if I don't I want to keep you up to date on the correction.

I finished the entering of marks from my student teacher and I also finished the year 7 marking. That just leaves the year 8 stuff to sort out!

I will be getting to work early so that I can actually sit and correct for a fair while. I am actually picking up another teacher who is going on year 7 camp tomorrow. Half the year are there already and the remainder go tomorrow. This teacher loves to get to work before 8am if possible (why?) so I thought it would be a good chance to get some work done.

The only day of the week that I need to get to work early is Thursday which is when I teach a theory class to all year levels. Sometimes there are 5 there and other weeks there are over 15. It is intense as we are learning to write cadences at the moment. They are undertaking AMEB 3rd grade theory and some are finding the going tough. Many haven't really studied theory before - they have played but not taken much notice of the written stuff.

My favourite two students are non-English speakers. They are struggling with words such as semitones, accidentals and key signatures. Both girls are delightful but they are really in such a mess with this subject specific language. We have had some interesting moments, outside of the class, where I find new and innovative ways of defining these words.

I will use tomorrow morning to get on top of the year 8 assignments - I think.

It was fantastic today when I took over my year 8 class that had my student teacher for the last few weeks. I wound up the super bitch mode for one delightful cherub who came in chewing gum like a cow with its cud, sat in the furthest seat away from me and put his chair into full recline mode. He also started to 'tinkle' with the keyboard and tried to backchat me. Silly boy - I am not a 21 year old student teacher. I have been in the classroom for over 15 years and I have had some GREAT disruptive students. (One day I might dedicate a blog to them!) The look on his face was hilarious as it dawned on him that I knew he still had gum in his mouth, had a fresh packet in his pocket, asked him to speak to me in a tone that reflected how he wanted me to speak to him and that he should follow the directions I had given. After a good ten minutes outside the door - while I went through work with the other kids - he apologised and came back in. He was lovely after that. I wonder why.

I am gaining the 'naughty' class tomorrow. I seriously wonder how many kids and how long it will take to get them back to where I want them. This particular class had children in it that really didn't behave in the style of the students at the school for my student teacher. They manipulated him, particularly one girl who found an amazing whining tone that she has never used on me. Another student was sent to the front of the classroom where he sat on the floor beside me. The boy got bored so he lay down - who can blame him, I was bored!

Then there was the 'fun' with the keyboards. These keyboards have great sound effects built in. Most kids, by the end of year 7, have worked out how to slowly turn the volume right down and put the sound effects on. If the teacher doesn't react to the ever so quiet gun shot, applause or dog bark they turn the volume up. The class I gain back tomorrow have really perfected this skill over the past few weeks.

procrastion again

I'm sitting at my desk at the moment and thinking that I must get into the correction that I complained about last week. Last week I had the excuse of dealing with my student teacher - he did take about 3 hours of each and everyday.



......................................................sigh...................................................(stifled yawn).................................



Just overcome with tiredness just thinking about him again. Don't think I should do that again!

Now I have no excuse such as him to stop my procrastination. The aim of today is to enter all the marks of my student teacher into my chronicle then finish the year 7 marking. After that I will attack the new work that came in from the year 8s (remember 4 classes of them!)

Somewhere in amongst all of this I will teach and run the choir. We have moved to a new venue. It's not that exciting but we had to go - I had 70+ children in a room built for 30ish. The new room is our band/orchestra room. I normally run the year 8 band with 80+ kids with instruments in there. I did that yesterday. It was fun! We played through some warmups (Groan from the kids!) and then through our 3 pieces. The kids play them moderately well but they all feature the percussion section and they can't keep time! It is SOOOOOOOO frustrating!

Just an aside - I was a little freaked out after yesterday. I happily sit between 5-10 regular readers daily. After a link from Frogdancer I suddenly found myself with over 30 readers! Thank you to all who read and I hope you come back at some stage.

update

After my extra long blog from yesterday I am a little worn out.

I don't have a lot to say and sort of feel 'let down' as a result.

A few quick update on a few things.

Neighbours:
I thought they were going to have a big party on Saturday but I was quite mistaken. They were setting up a few things but nothing happened, in fact there were not even any lights on in the house. It has been quite cold and they seem to have ventured inside but don't hold your breath. I am still planning on moving - and I am still a few pays away from that.

Exercise:
Very cross about this. I was quite happy running with the outdoor exercise group but my body didn't appreciate it. I would run and then end up with a headache that was blinding. It was suggested that I should stop running. But I have also stopped playing netball and I am at a lost without my exercise. I am sure I will find something to do that I will get involved with quite happily but in the mean time it is quite frustrating.

Love life:
Still non-existent. Just keep dating people found on the strange scale. It can be quite entertaining but also very frustrating.

Work:
Student teacher finished and I have full control of my classes again.

So now you are up to speed with it all.

the process of education

I read a comment yesterday on this that has made me think a great deal. I wonder if Cramerj is the same person as anonymous who left a comment on my post about students and criticism?

It is interesting to note that EVERYONE has an opinion about teaching. In modern Western society everyone has been educated. We have all been through the process of education for a minimum of 10 years, if you left in Year 9, or up to 13 years, if you went straight through to the end of Year 12.

I want to go through what I see as being the process of education (teacher, parent and child) as this will then help me explain why some people become disgruntled with the system as it exists at the moment. Remember that this is the way that I see the whole process of education - to all my teacher colleagues I hope I don't offend anyone.

Primary School.
Generally this is the most positive experience in the education process. Parents come in excited about the journey their child is about to embark on. Parents are involved in everything - reading, excursions, art etc.

Prep, Grade 1 and Grade 2 are where you see the most involvement from parents. The eldest child in the family has the excitement of finding their way, with their parents, through the maze that is education.

Grade 3 and 4 things get a little tougher as the style of work changes and thoughts start to move towards secondary education. Written assignments become quite big and the maths starts to get a little harder. Children also start to get very socially focused - the parents are important but friends are much more important. (For some this has started earlier and for others it will not start until much, much later). Parents seem to have a lesser role but they are still there listening to reading, helping with excursions and working through the maths problems etc. The kids start to find the work a little tougher at this stage but they will keep pushing through the process and the teachers are SOOOOO supportive. They know the kids exceptionally well and can see the strengths and weaknesses of the kids holistically.

Grade 5 and 6 suddenly the kids are BIG and the expectations are quite high. These are the leaders in primary schools. If kids have been struggling with any concepts they might start to fall behind a little and their behaviour may change as well. If they have a great teacher they will be able to work at a high level in some areas and work hard to improve the other levels. Grade 6 kids often feel like they are TOO big for the primary school and often are impatient to move to the secondary setting. The teachers are working on ensuring that a strong understanding of the whole curriculum is undertaken so that the transition to secondary school is as smooth as possible.

[Please understand that I am a secondary school teacher and my perceptions of primary schools is based on what I see when I go on excursions to a primary school and discussions I have heard friends, who are parents and teachers, have.]

Parental involvement becomes higher again, not so much from the helping with work itself, but from the decisions that are made regarding the direction for further education. Parents go on tours of the local high/secondary schools with their children and they 'discuss' what they see. (as a teacher on display during these tours it is fascinating observing what interests the child compared to the parents)

Secondary school
Year 7 - first half of the year, the kids are so cute. They are finding their way. If it is a uniformed place the uniforms are WAY too big. If they are the eldest in the family they are 'lost' for a fair while. They have so many teachers (up to 13 in some schools) compared to primary school where they had the one and a few specialists. Now the teachers are all specialists.

Somewhere during this first year the kids lose their cuteness. Hormones kick in and their behaviour changes as a result. If the kids are able to talk to their parents about work, this will continue for a while, but the discussion about school, work and friends will change. From what I have noticed, kids don't always say what is really going on. They may interpret the situation so differently from the reality and parents may not ever get the truth of what is happening until it is very late in the story.

Kids sometimes like to protect themselves or even their parents from the truth. I have asked a child if they have discussed an issue with their parent - often the answer is no as they don't want to bother their mum/dad as they have a lot on already.

By the time Year 7 finishes and the kids have moved through Year 8 there has been a huge change in their approach to education. Decisions will have been made ("I hate that subject" "I can't do that." etc) and behaviours will emerge. If the teacher is good they will be able to ride these changes in the kids with ease. Hormones kick in big time and the kids behave in some of the most intriguing ways. Girls adorn make-up (has been happening for decades) and boys will now spend time on clothes selection and hair manipulation (a much more recent occurrence).

It is during this time that kids want to be treated differently but don't want to be separated from the pack. Pack mentality can set in and in some situations can be very detrimental. Bullying really starts to rise at this time and continues into year 9 and, in the worst situations I have seen, through to the beginning of year 10. Kids want to achieve but don't want to be obvious in their intelligence - unless they are part of 'nerdy' group or a group that values intelligence.

Most groups are more focused on social issues - fashion, socialising, parties, drinking etc. All kids just want to fit in. This can pervade the kids whole life - home life may become difficult as they want to 'buck' the system there; school work may suffer as the kid spend less time completing the work. If this happens (kids don't complete the work) they fall behind but the curriculum continues to plow on.

Half way through year 9 and most of year 10 I consider to be the sorting years. Kids work out what they want to do. It can be an interesting 18 months.

Year 11 they have grown up a lot and they are starting to settle down and parents seem to enjoy the company of their kids again.

Year 12 is THE stressful year as everyone thinks that this is the year that will make or break them. Parents are suddenly invited to be part of the kids lives again (they have always been there but as observers) but as it has been a while since they were actively involved, they have lost their touch and become stressed along with the kids.

If there is a time in education when we 'lose' kids it will be during Year 9 but I think it might have shown itself a lot earlier.

Things have changed a great deal since I was at school. When I was at school everyone was focused on the early years (prep to grade 3 maybe grade 4). Research was on the impact of a good start and the success a child has. Final years were important but everyone was looking at the early years.

As I finished high school and went to university 'girls education' became the flavour of research. People were looking at how girls learn, especially in maths and science.

I ended university and began my career and we started to look at how boys were coping in education.

10 years into my career the 'middle years' became the focus. We looked at the years from about grade 5 to the end of year 9 and why we lose kids. Programs have changed dramatically. There is more focus on social acceptance within a school setting compared to pushing the kids into academia. Kids are encouraged to research what they are interested in. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. The message that schools have been given from the research is to engage kids during the middle years. Many teachers are still arguing on the relevance of this......

I remember at school, in year 7, being criticised by a teacher for not knowing something. I didn't get the concept at all. After that criticism I stopped volunteering information. I am talking someone, the teacher, asking me if I was stupid. The impact of that was huge. It still hasn't left me.

So this is where I am going with all of this.......

Did the system fail someone like Cramerj? Is he/she angry that they were discouraged in the education system?

What I want to point out to someone like Cramerj and anonymous who doesn't own up to their thoughts, is that the system has changed. We treat kids like humans. We try to make a difference in their lives - sometimes it works, sometimes not. The fact that the kids in Frogdancer's class trust her enough to tell her about their lives means that the current system is working for them. I think it also means that she is treating her kids like humans - even when they behave like animals!

We are often trusted with the most sensitive information of kids as they are trying to work it out themselves. I feel privileged to hear that information. There are times when I don't know what to say or I have to get the assistance of someone else to help the kid work it out. There are other times when I want to throttle a child because of their actions but I know that they are trying to work something out as well. I have to remember that I am an adult and they are a child and that I have been given the responsibility of showing the child how to behave in our society.

I love my job. It is hard but it is rewarding. No one can 'get' what a teacher does unless they do it themselves. We often don't have any tangible results to show people but that is what society now wants. How hard is it to show a child that has changed to being contented because they have had the chance to work through some issue?

These are just my thoughts - and if you are still here reading - thank you for letting me share them with you.

The hills are alive....

I had one of the funniest nights out last night. In fact I haven't had so much fun in ages. I went with a good work friend to "Sing-a-long Sound of Music". It was very funny.

Imagine 2000+ people in a venue and a fair number of them are dressed up. There were about 50 nuns in their black habits and wimples, a few brown paper packages tied up with strings and even a few groups dressed - in various levels of success - as the alps. My favourite two characters - one woman dressed as the bowing lady from the festival (end of the movie) and a very crazy looking female as a lonely goat. She was covered in fluff.

After the fashion parade the movie started. We had been encouraged to call out to Maria, the children etc and call out we did. As soon as Maria appeared on the screen we encouraged her to "turn around" and she did. She turned large circles and started singing. We sang with her then, like any good musical, we applauded the singing - especially ourselves.

When Captain Von Trapp appeared, framed in a doorway, many a wolf whistle came out. I laughed a lot as the girl who I was sitting next to remarked "He's a bit of a honey...."

Rolf had his own dog barks, the Baroness was hissed and the Nazis (and anyone associated with them) were booed. I am glad I have seen the movie HEAPS of times (yearly occurrence on free to air television and compulsory viewing in my family!) as I could not hear all of the story line.

I think the one thing that I had no idea about was the pronunciation by mother superior just before she sings "Climb every mountain". She asks Maria "What is it you can't face?" (Just change the pronunciation of the last two words.) I was laughing a lot - not as much as my friend. The lady sitting in front of us stated that she would never be able to watch the movie seriously again.

I will be going again. A large group is the idea - and everyone needs to dress up! Take a few props too - torches, bells, whistles - it adds to the fun!

Clearing the desks.....

In a moment of procrastination I cleared my desk off last night. I moved papers around - a lot into the bin etc and then I packaged the student work that I am avoiding correcting. The only thing I didn't do was wipe over the desk.

Last year I used to end my Friday with the ritualistic desk clear. It made for a better start on the Monday. I was able to finish off the weekend and then mentally prepare for the week ahead. This has not occured once this year as I am teaching the final two periods of the weeek. I must admit that it now makes me feel a little rushed and ever so slightly out of control.

Having cleared the desk yesterday I suddenly feel a little more under control. I see the desktop and I am able to mentally prepare the week and the work. It's all good. Now I might attempt the study at home.

He's finished

I have written my student teachers report and I have finished supervising him! He actually finished off quite well. He was starting to see the need for everything I had said in the few weeks before hand. I felt quite harsh as I wrote his report. There wasn't much that was a glowing recommendation but it was honest.

To the anonymous person out there who left a comment for me that questioned my honesty with students etc - it is something I do with students and student-teachers alike. It is also something that you should be able to do honestly yourself with yourself. Praise yourself where it is appropriate and then give yourself permission to change what needs and could be changed.

People don't like to hear that they are not good at something and you have to make sure that you word criticisms in a way that gives them the chance to see that there is improvement there. Imagine telling a despot that they suck at human rights! What a conversation you would be having and how long would it last? I just think that what I am doing is on a much smaller scale! (I don't teach despots though! Well I hope I don't.)

I know that when I am told about something that I need to improve, I can hear it if it is delivered in positive way. If there is no space or suggestions for improvement you just feel like a failure and that you just 'suck' at that particular event. Forever more I wont even attempt the task that I 'failed' at.

I talked to my senior students about the process that I went through with my student teacher and they said something that is making me think. They thought that his teaching style was so much better when I was absent one day. I asked them why they thought that. Their reply is that I can be rather intimidating! They did couch this in a beautiful way - they said that I watch them so carefully and that they know that I know who they are but they feel that I can see right through them. They thought that the student teacher (who does not know who I am) would not be able to cope with this situation.

It is a good point. Not sure how I will play with this concept.

an interesting day

Did you hear the news? I've got a pay rise - haven't quite worked out how much or when I'll get it but I am very excited.

That was the headline.

I have four more days left with my student teacher although today we had another "Aha!" moment. He was teaching and some bullying was taking place and this kid decided to behave like an obnoxious little brat and so I dealt with it! I exited the kid from the classroom and gave him a dressing down - which was heard by most of the corridor, then sent him to the assistant principals office.

When I re-entered the room I told the student teacher what I had done. He hadn't heard a thing!!!!! (I've had a few people commenting on how loud I was etc) The kids behaved a lot more than they have done - but lot of it could have been down to me. What do you think?

The weight of the world

I am musing over the delicate balance there is in getting the blanket/doona situation right during Autumn and Spring. (That would be Fall and Spring to the Northern Americans)

This morning I woke and I was quite warm, in fact too warm, which was very different to the night before when I was really cold. I love the days of Autumn and Spring - they are cold and warm all at once, there is a crispness in the day promising so much. Nights are just too confusing......How many blankets? How many doonas? Socks? Winter pyjamas or summer?

Summer is very easy. It is warm so a sheet and maybe a blanket/doona depending on the overnight temperature.

Winter is taken care of although after reading this you might think I might need to reassess the situation.

I wear my warm pyjamas and have two doonas on the bed and if it is remarkably cold I will even put a blanket on the bed. I might even wear the beautiful woolen socks to bed as well! All this weight on top of me seems to pin me into my bed and I have no choice but sleep!

The cat loves Winter. She can be found under both doonas, between doonas, between the blanket and doona or, if it is not so cold for her fur-lined princess body, firmly fitted on top of the doona in the bottom corner.

I have toyed with the idea of buying a decent winter weight doona. I look at the doonas and then think " NO! I manage with the two". Then I get home and wrestle the two doonas into the cover. I have tried having ties on the corners of the doonas so I can tie them together and then tie them into the doona cover.

I have tried having the doonas in separate covers on top of each other on top of me but then you have the nightly battle of the escaping doona. There is the question of which doona will escape tonight - the top one or the bottom one? You can't buy that sort of excitement anywhere!

I KNOW I should buy a new doona that is worth it's weight in gold but I just haven't got round to it. There is the whole process of research - how many blankets do I need? Will I go wool, down, microfibre? My head hurts thinking through those questions already.

Some of you may even ask the question why not an electric blanket? Personally I don't believe in them. "Tut -tut" I hear from many of you. Yes, I know there is the idea of getting into a pre-warmed bed and snuggling into the warmth and feeling toasty BUT it is something I can't bring myself to purchase. I have an irrational fear that I will leave it on and burn down the house. I already triple check that I have put the iron away properly lets not bring in another heating device. Then there is the idea that you might dehydrate yourself over night if you kept the electric blanket on.....there are reports written about this!

The double doona system stemmed from the time that I moved from my mothers house, where we had central heating and I was constantly warm with one doona, to a house in Tasmania (Launceston to be exact) which had no real heating that I could cope with. The warmest place in the house was bed and then I discovered the many joys of the multiple doona. Nights got so cold (often well below zero degrees Celsius!) that I would consider it nothing to have a hat on my head so that I was warm all over. In the mornings I would wake and look out the window to see the ice forming around the outside sill and I would bound back to my double doona fortress to fight out the battle with the cold. (or should that be skate...)

I have no chance of having a mate share my sleeping space with me with multiple doonas on the go. I don't think any other reasonable person would cope with the weight. It takes a special focus. You are almost suffocated if you lie on your back, as the weight crushes your ribcage. I have become an amazing side sleeper.

I remember discussing this situation with friends of mine. They thought, as most of you probably will, that I was nuts having all that weight on me when I was sleeping. I explained my 'reasons' but they were still unimpressed and mumbled words such as "crazy", "idiotic" and even "certifiable". The female pointed out that the heat generated by another body in the bed would probably take away the need for the two doona system. She suggested that I should expend my energy on finding a "live bed warmer" as opposed to fighting the two doona system.

Maybe after all these years I might need to heed her advice. She will be pleased. I might let her know that I am CONSIDERING changing my ways.

It's all good!

I just want to clarify something. Although I have been complaining a lot in my blog this week, especially about being tired, please believe me I am fine.

Just want to point out that I am tired, stressed because I am not up-to-date with my work (my own targets being set here!) and over emotional because I am tired - oh and I am quite forgetful as well at the moment due to tiredness! Other than that I am quite fine. In fact, at the end of next week I will be ecstatic! Why? The student teacher will have finished any my "spare" time at work will be used to get work done so I don't have to bring it home.

Just thought I would set the record straight - in case you were concerned.

Thankful

I have tried to blog for the past few days. I feel like I have nothing to write.

Some of this comes from the fact that I havent had time to collect my thoughts - I am so tired it is all I can do to just make it through a day. (bloody student teacher who doesnt give me enough time to do my correction....)

Another reason is that I have no had time to read other blogs.

Today, I finally caught up with my reading. I have had a quiet chuckle (thanks Vanessa), I've cried (ta to you Frogdancer) and I have just basically been impressed by the fact that people have the time to write really impressive and heartfelt things.

As I sit here my cat is eyeing my knee off. She is looking for a warm and loving space - like most of us in this world.

I have relented and moved my laptop and given her a little space on my knee but that is not enough - she also wants to have her head scratched and wants some physical attention.

I think it would be so much easier if I was a cat - although typing would be hard. There is the fact that if you are a domestic cat in a loving home, someone supplies you with all that you need (food, water, shelter and attention). It is not far from what we all want anyway.

I have read a number of blogs (thanks Laura) that show that there are not enough hours in the day and that it is frustrating that you cant complete the creative tasks that you would like to do.....

But I was inspired by Isabelle who reminded me to look for the good things in life (no matter how small) and be happy in the knowledge of those things.

Three things that I am happy are in my life and make it easier each day:
1) My cat "Precious". So glad she is part of my world. Each day she greets me with an emphatic mewing/purring reminding me that my job is to feed her something and make her day easier. At the end of the day she rewards me with her company by sitting on my knee. I know that she just loves the company I give her and it has nothing to do with the fact that I might be a great source of warmth for her!

2) A well stocked pantry. There are so many people in the world (and with rising food costs that number will only just grow) who go without. I am thankful that I am in a great job and make enough money that I am able to eat well each day.

3) My independence. I love the fact that I am able to make the decisions that affect my life. Long may it continue.

What are you grateful for?

FREAKIN' OUT

So for the past few days I have been in a crazy, hazy daze! As you might realise I have had a good whinge and things have just got progressively worse! I haven't had time to work out if I am coming or am going.

Student teacher update - I have a few more days left with him........well actually I have 6! He has 5 more classes to teach with my kids - and they are stoked! My year 11's told me what they thought of him today. They are less than unimpressed with him. Yesterday he told them off for not understanding a concept that he said was 'simple' and that they should know and that they were being 'stupid'. Suffice to say they heard 'simple' and 'stupid' then physically reacted to this - they audibly recoiled from him. Today they told me that they have no respect for him as he has shown no respect for them. It was an interesting time for me. They were stroking my ego by telling me that I was a brilliant teacher and that I treat all with respect. I already know this BUT it was awesome to hear this from them.

Correction wise - I am still a long way away from getting it all done. So far this week I have only done the year 7 stuff. Any spare time I have, I have spent talking with the student teacher.

I am writing a list for tomorrow and correction - I could attempt it now but I wouldn't get it all done! AAAARGH! Just had to scream. I think it will get better.....